What did COVID-19 pandemic do to you?

[Anonymous]

Legitimate question- how do I process my trauma as we come out of this pandemic? This is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having small kids and taking care of them is the most isolating and tiring experience even when there is no pandemic.

People need to also understand that having more than 1 or 2 kids is not easy. No one owes the raising of your kids to you. The parents have to raise them. If they are lucky they will have paid or unpaid caregivers at various times but it is not a guarantee.

If you cannot do it on your own and do it well then don't have kids.

Oh shut up.

This poster isn’t wrong though…when the going gets tough, raising kids is entirely on the parents.

Yeah. I'm amused at all the parents who deliberately had kids back-to-back every 2 years or less and then ended up with 3-5 kids who outnumbered them.

The only 'plan' you had was for society to raise and care for your kid 80% of the time.

No wonder you were overwhelmed.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having small kids and taking care of them is the most isolating and tiring experience even when there is no pandemic.

People need to also understand that having more than 1 or 2 kids is not easy. No one owes the raising of your kids to you. The parents have to raise them. If they are lucky they will have paid or unpaid caregivers at various times but it is not a guarantee.

If you cannot do it on your own and do it well then don't have kids.

Oh shut up.

This poster isn’t wrong though…when the going gets tough, raising kids is entirely on the parents.

Absolutely. But do you understand how many people had to work in person over pandemic that had no childcare resources? Our children are absolutely our responsibility…but no one has 11 back up plans for plague. It’s so dismissive.

Yes, it's a pat answer that really has no connection to reality. So the nurse/ essential worker you need more than ever to be working has no child care -- but that just means she shouldn't have had kids? What about the guy bringing you your groceries so you can bunker down with your family--should he have created a pandemic-proof backup childcare system 8 years ago in anticipation of potential world pandemic? We structure society in ways that maximize public wellbeing that involve interdependence. In all sorts of ways - hardly just childcare. It is just idiot magical thinking to say everyone can/should immediately be able to cope and flourish without these structures.

Thank you.

Whatever. Do I feel bad for the truly low-income essential families who were crushed by this? Absolutely.

Do I feel bad for the Pulomonologist married to the research scientist with the $400K dual-income who had to suddenly pay for private childcare during the year? Not a chance.

Lots of high income and high net worth individuals in this region had to shift their finances from $5,000/trip vacations to paying nannies through the nose. And I do not care.

This. The loudest complainers about DL and “lockdowns” were not nurses or delivery drivers. They were entitled, rich or at least UMC white collar workers and SAHMs who were just flummoxed at how the world wasn’t bending to do their will even when they tantrumed extra, extra hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having small kids and taking care of them is the most isolating and tiring experience even when there is no pandemic.

People need to also understand that having more than 1 or 2 kids is not easy. No one owes the raising of your kids to you. The parents have to raise them. If they are lucky they will have paid or unpaid caregivers at various times but it is not a guarantee.

If you cannot do it on your own and do it well then don't have kids.

Oh shut up.

This poster isn’t wrong though…when the going gets tough, raising kids is entirely on the parents.

Absolutely. But do you understand how many people had to work in person over pandemic that had no childcare resources? Our children are absolutely our responsibility…but no one has 11 back up plans for plague. It’s so dismissive.

Yes, it's a pat answer that really has no connection to reality. So the nurse/ essential worker you need more than ever to be working has no child care -- but that just means she shouldn't have had kids? What about the guy bringing you your groceries so you can bunker down with your family--should he have created a pandemic-proof backup childcare system 8 years ago in anticipation of potential world pandemic? We structure society in ways that maximize public wellbeing that involve interdependence. In all sorts of ways - hardly just childcare. It is just idiot magical thinking to say everyone can/should immediately be able to cope and flourish without these structures.

Thank you.

Whatever. Do I feel bad for the truly low-income essential families who were crushed by this? Absolutely.

Do I feel bad for the Pulomonologist married to the research scientist with the $400K dual-income who had to suddenly pay for private childcare during the year? Not a chance.

Lots of high income and high net worth individuals in this region had to shift their finances from $5,000/trip vacations to paying nannies through the nose. And I do not care.

This. The loudest complainers about DL and “lockdowns” were not nurses or delivery drivers. They were entitled, rich or at least UMC white collar workers and SAHMs who were just flummoxed at how the world wasn’t bending to do their will even when they tantrumed extra, extra hard.

The amount of posts in the travel forum March 2020 - August 2020 about canceled vacations to Europe and Southeast Asia and Southern Africa -- "but I planned this for so long and they're not giving me my deposit back!" was so very illuminating as well.

No sweetie I don't care that British Airways is only giving you credit for the $$$ in flight reservations and Lamu is locking down and you can't get the hotel on the phone.

And oh? The daycare shut down with your summer already paid for and now you need to hire a nanny while you sue them in small claims court?

Too bad.

[Anonymous]

It opened my eyes to how privileged white people really are.

We need full reparations Right Now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband died. And part of me died with him. Now I’m a sad person.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope, with time, you are able to find joy again. You will never be the same, but things do get better. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having small kids and taking care of them is the most isolating and tiring experience even when there is no pandemic.

People need to also understand that having more than 1 or 2 kids is not easy. No one owes the raising of your kids to you. The parents have to raise them. If they are lucky they will have paid or unpaid caregivers at various times but it is not a guarantee.

If you cannot do it on your own and do it well then don't have kids.

Oh shut up.

This poster isn’t wrong though…when the going gets tough, raising kids is entirely on the parents.

Yeah. I'm amused at all the parents who deliberately had kids back-to-back every 2 years or less and then ended up with 3-5 kids who outnumbered them.

The only 'plan' you had was for society to raise and care for your kid 80% of the time.

No wonder you were overwhelmed.

+100

I watched SAHMs with 3+ kids pull their hair out and wondered - what was your plan? You would only see them a few hours a day because they would be in daycare/school?

Some women I know got pregnant during the pandemic and look depressed now. But why do they keep making bad choices?

This is my friend who is complaining non-stop about her newborn, no sleep, high costs for diapers/essentials, and how hard it is. Well...yeah, I mean that's what you signed up for.

Ugh go back to the “childfree” forum on Reddit with your juvenile rants. Btw those kids and others will be taking care of you in your old age someday.

I hear this a lot. You don’t have kids to take care of you in your old age

No, but everyone relies on other people to raise kids so there will be a functioning society to care for them when they are old. The least you can do is be supportive of those that take on the responsibility of raising children.

[Anonymous]

Made me fall for the ultimate lie from kids: we will help walk the puppy! Who do you think is walking puppy in the swamp like summer heat? Hint: person is over 30.

[Anonymous]

I got a new boss at the start of the pandemic who never spoke to me and eventually fired me. I lost a well paying job at a very established company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s made me mad. I will never ever forget the feeling of abandonment. The whole world walked out. I was home alone with 3 small children, one with special needs, for 15 months. Our schools didn’t reopen. Therapies were only on zoom. And nobody cared. My parents social distanced from us. My DH can’t work from home and was out of the house from 8-7 every weekday. Soooo many “friends” and neighbors gushed about all the “silver linings” of the pandemic and how they enjoyed the family time and slower pace. Can’t relate. At all.

Well, I can understand why of course your parents distanced from you, and since your husband works outside the home, isn’t thwt what you wanted? Did you really want your elderly parents to expose themselves to covid via your husbands workplace exposure? You need to let that anger at your parents go.

But I get what you mean. My husband had to work outside the home too and his ex with whom we share custody had a dangerous job too. Meanwhile so many of my friends were able to hunker down in country houses and telecommute. Or even just their own homes and telecommute. Yet many of them complained rather than realize how lucky they were, to be able to stay home.

And one of my friends who was telecommuting from a beach house got in an argument with me about how people like my husbands ex (who works in a restaurant) should be working in person because it’s good for the economy. She said this while staying home and getting groceries delivered. It pissed me off. She offered no sympathy for our situation. Just complained about how hard it is was to be sequestered in her beach house with her kids and live in nanny. Poor poor her.

I can’t be friends with her anymore. I’m still pissed.

I don’t blame you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a new boss at the start of the pandemic who never spoke to me and eventually fired me. I lost a well paying job at a very established company.

I'm very sorry to hear that. Do you think it was because of the pandemic? As in, because you were all working remotely, it created a situation that led to this boss having a bad/misleading impression of you that would not have happened had you been working in person?
I guess I'm just curious if you see a direct connection between Covid and your job loss, or was it something unfortunately (bad boss-employee relationship) that could have hit you at any time but coincidentally occurred during the pandemic?

[Anonymous]

Bankrupted our business

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bankrupted our business

And we are white.

[Anonymous]

I think it just made me really grateful.

Grateful that my family is pretty healthy.
Grateful that we can afford all that we need and most of what we want.
Grateful that our child is bright and resilient and strong and came out on the other side of virtual learning smarter. Grateful that he lucked into a magnet program and other kids who are just as smart didn't.
Grateful that I love my job and continued to do it amidst a weird pivot.
Grateful that I reconnected with some old friends virtually.
Grateful that I got to spend a ton of time with my immediate family and can now work from home a bit more and not go back to working 100% outside the house.
Grateful that we were ale to save more money.
Grateful that I got to see the true colors of some people around me, and reevaluate those relationships with some space.
Grateful for the forced social breather that let me reevaluate what I want to do and who I want to see.
Grateful for a strong network of neighbors.
Grateful that I learn to love walking outside every day.

It makes me sound like an a-hole maybe, but it's all true. I suppose I will also keep a small stockpile of food/water/cleaning supplies/meds now also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It made me realize how invisible I am--no one really cares about me.

I suspect there are many that feel this way as people around them retreated. Isolation is very lonely.

Yes. Watching other families “bubble” with friends or family members only furthered my loneliness. My DH worked out of the house the whole time and people acted like me and my kids were dirty/infected. Horrible feeling.

Yes this is me too. I’m still incredibly lonely and it’s hard to explain when I have a husband and two kids.