What did COVID-19 pandemic do to you?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, families with young kids got screwed. Ours just went to one week of outdoor day camp with masks. Sick as hell, negative for flu and covid, but back at home with us.

5 days of respite, and the pandemic is back again. Maybe September....

[Anonymous]

My husband died. And part of me died with him. Now I’m a sad person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread has gone in a sad direction.

For what it's worth, we are a middle class family for whom the burden of losing childcare/school was a genuine hardship. I don't care if you think it was easy or not, I know what happened. We do not have the finances to simply replace in-person school with paid childcare. We used some savings to pay for some childcare just to make it possible to get by. We both work. Our children are young (3 and 5). We were fortunate that one of us could always work from home, though we both had to work in person at times.

But this year was brutal and I have only just started to recovery. Even now, we are dealing with insane schedules just to get by. We were able to buy about a month of summer camp with our kids (normally we'd be able to afford more, but we paid for part-time care throughout the year and are just tapped out at this point). The weeks we don't have camp, I usually work until 1am and then my husband watches the kids until 9am so that I can sleep in, and then I take over until he gets home from work, and then he handles dinner/bedtime while I pull another night shift. This is one of those weeks. I'm so tired. I keep telling myself that September is the finish line. We will limp across it.

It is unreal how many people blow off what families like ours have been through, simply because we didn't die. Oh, and if you are wondering, we have lost 3 family members in the last year, including one to Covid, plus are supporting another who is so deep in grief she cannot care for herself.

Lots of ordinary families who aren't necessarily first responders or essential workers took it on the chin all year. Lots of us are hurting. The lack of empathy in this thread for us is par for the course, but still hurts.

I just want you to know that I see you and I understand. It’s been a terrible year.

[Anonymous]

Made me realize that H and I don’t need to get divorced. We can live as roommates and both be here for our SN kid.
Made me realize how much money I saved not grabbing lunch out!
Made me realize that in person teaching is a super power. I am a teacher and went back in January, as soon as I could. It was inspiring & terrifying.
Made me realize that I absolutely never want a job where I WFH.

[Anonymous]

It made me realize that I wasn’t just tired and achy all the time from being busy. Something was really wrong with me that even 8 hours of sleep nightly and resting couldn’t fix. Learned I had cancer. Pre-pandemic, I would not have gone to the doctor for being tired and achy. Being home all the time eliminated the usual suspects. I guess the pandemic saved my life!

[Anonymous]

It made crystal clear that money is what matters. With young kids zoomed online school and those who could afford to create learning pods with a private tutor. The pandemic left kids and moms and less fortunate behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Experiencing the pandemic has absolutely been a trauma for our family. I am a sahm of 4 young kids and my husband is a primary care physician. We live in NY. His office, all patients and providers, came down with covid early in the pandemic (thank God he did not). Schools closed soon after and we kept paying high tuition for our middle kids while having crappy virtual learning which all the kids hated. My husband worked more than ever and many of his patients died. He was not provided with Ppe and we had to use a stash of painters masks in the basement for him. Meanwhile, my mother panicked and isolated and only called to talk about herself.

I struggled HARD. I had friends stop calling me when I was no longer able to provide them emotional support. Now they are coming back… uhm… what?

Now that I am out of it, I can see clearly that we are so, so alone in the world. We need to save all our money to support our kids as no one but us truly cares about them.

Our church community left us hanging. No help for virtual faith formation for the kids for 9 months. When I finally set foot solo in the church again, it was absolutely packed with boomers and I was revolted. I’m STILL furious. We kept our kids home for 9 months, no activities or trips or birthday parties for a year, no restaurants, date nights, ANYTHING… so that the most vulnerable population to covid could eat out and travel and go to church?!?!?

This is a rage that will never, ever end. My kids, self, and spouse were at the brink of despair for no good reason.

I am entirely over covid and will never trust those in power again. I will save our money more than ever as we are all alone! I will value my true friends who were there for us when I was weak.

And to all of you that had an easy time of it, eff you. My husband and I truely thought we were going to die of it before it was understood. Our medical friends suffered and took pay cuts to place the vents of people who denied covid, while putting their kids in expensive, clinical chidcare. Young families with medical parents are the real losers of this year.

Let me guess - you’re white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Experiencing the pandemic has absolutely been a trauma for our family. I am a sahm of 4 young kids and my husband is a primary care physician. We live in NY. His office, all patients and providers, came down with covid early in the pandemic (thank God he did not). Schools closed soon after and we kept paying high tuition for our middle kids while having crappy virtual learning which all the kids hated. My husband worked more than ever and many of his patients died. He was not provided with Ppe and we had to use a stash of painters masks in the basement for him. Meanwhile, my mother panicked and isolated and only called to talk about herself.

I struggled HARD. I had friends stop calling me when I was no longer able to provide them emotional support. Now they are coming back… uhm… what?

Now that I am out of it, I can see clearly that we are so, so alone in the world. We need to save all our money to support our kids as no one but us truly cares about them.

Our church community left us hanging. No help for virtual faith formation for the kids for 9 months. When I finally set foot solo in the church again, it was absolutely packed with boomers and I was revolted. I’m STILL furious. We kept our kids home for 9 months, no activities or trips or birthday parties for a year, no restaurants, date nights, ANYTHING… so that the most vulnerable population to covid could eat out and travel and go to church?!?!?

This is a rage that will never, ever end. My kids, self, and spouse were at the brink of despair for no good reason.

I am entirely over covid and will never trust those in power again. I will save our money more than ever as we are all alone! I will value my true friends who were there for us when I was weak.

And to all of you that had an easy time of it, eff you. My husband and I truely thought we were going to die of it before it was understood. Our medical friends suffered and took pay cuts to place the vents of people who denied covid, while putting their kids in expensive, clinical chidcare. Young families with medical parents are the real losers of this year.

So to summarise, it was hard because you had 4 little children at home and no help and also had to pay their tuition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It turned me into a republican. I will not vote for Trump and I’ve masked/been vaccinated but going forward I’m only voting GOP. I’ve had enough of the over the top identity politics being so extreme lately. I’ve had enough of the COVID scare tactics. I want my kids back in school.

Scare tactics? You will probably go full Karen if you go to ER and they won’t treat you because there are no beds.
The same sense of entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Experiencing the pandemic has absolutely been a trauma for our family. I am a sahm of 4 young kids and my husband is a primary care physician. We live in NY. His office, all patients and providers, came down with covid early in the pandemic (thank God he did not). Schools closed soon after and we kept paying high tuition for our middle kids while having crappy virtual learning which all the kids hated. My husband worked more than ever and many of his patients died. He was not provided with Ppe and we had to use a stash of painters masks in the basement for him. Meanwhile, my mother panicked and isolated and only called to talk about herself.

I struggled HARD. I had friends stop calling me when I was no longer able to provide them emotional support. Now they are coming back… uhm… what?

Now that I am out of it, I can see clearly that we are so, so alone in the world. We need to save all our money to support our kids as no one but us truly cares about them.

Our church community left us hanging. No help for virtual faith formation for the kids for 9 months. When I finally set foot solo in the church again, it was absolutely packed with boomers and I was revolted. I’m STILL furious. We kept our kids home for 9 months, no activities or trips or birthday parties for a year, no restaurants, date nights, ANYTHING… so that the most vulnerable population to covid could eat out and travel and go to church?!?!?

This is a rage that will never, ever end. My kids, self, and spouse were at the brink of despair for no good reason.

I am entirely over covid and will never trust those in power again. I will save our money more than ever as we are all alone! I will value my true friends who were there for us when I was weak.

And to all of you that had an easy time of it, eff you. My husband and I truely thought we were going to die of it before it was understood. Our medical friends suffered and took pay cuts to place the vents of people who denied covid, while putting their kids in expensive, clinical chidcare. Young families with medical parents are the real losers of this year.

So to summarise, it was hard because you had 4 little children at home and no help and also had to pay their tuition?

Not to pile on but...you went to church and you're mad that other people went to the same church? I don't understand. Was it supposed to be empty for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s made me mad. I will never ever forget the feeling of abandonment. The whole world walked out. I was home alone with 3 small children, one with special needs, for 15 months. Our schools didn’t reopen. Therapies were only on zoom. And nobody cared. My parents social distanced from us. My DH can’t work from home and was out of the house from 8-7 every weekday. Soooo many “friends” and neighbors gushed about all the “silver linings” of the pandemic and how they enjoyed the family time and slower pace. Can’t relate. At all.

I am going to say this as gently as I can — you are alone when it comes down to taking care of your kids. Yes, we all build villages which are very important, however, your kids will be entirely dependent on you during emergencies like a pandemic. That is true for everyone. The therapists our kids depend on? They also have families who they had to protect from a pandemic. Same for the teachers and even your parents — they had to protect themselves. Being mad at people for taking care of themselves and protecting their own families is a waste of precious emotional energy because the outcome will always be the same.

NP here. But society decided to reopen freaking bars!! Disney was open. You could go bowling while kids sat at home unable to attend in-person school or get the important therapies they needed.

I’m sorry, but our country made its priorities very clear over the past 15 months and it’s apparent that children, particularly those with special needs/mental health issues/too young to benefit from virtual learning were absolute bottom of the barrel. Working moms a close second.

It’s not like the rest of the country was also hunkering at home along with the parents of young kids. I saw so many of my child free friends taking advantage of cheap flights, going out to restaurants, etc. while my 5 year old sat at home on an iPad trying to learn how to read and I tried to cling to my job. So sorry, but I think parents of young kids have a right to feel like we’ve been abandoned by society. We sacrificed the well-being of the young to by and large save the elderly (many of which I saw living their lives out and about on social media as if there wasn’t even a pandemic!).

And even now, many camps aren’t offering aftercare this year or have reduced enrollment because staffing/planning was done back in Feb. before we knew what the summer would look like. Life is back to normal for many people, but those of us with young kids are still very much awaiting full reopening and hopefully a safe pediatric vaccine.

+100000 to all this

I’m so embarrassed by our country. Women, children: we’ve always deserved better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It turned me into a republican. I will not vote for Trump and I’ve masked/been vaccinated but going forward I’m only voting GOP. I’ve had enough of the over the top identity politics being so extreme lately. I’ve had enough of the COVID scare tactics. I want my kids back in school.

Scare tactics? You will probably go full Karen if you go to ER and they won’t treat you because there are no beds.
The same sense of entitlement.

Nope. I’m fully vaxxed.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, but our country made its priorities very clear over the past 15 months and it’s apparent that children, particularly those with special needs/mental health issues/too young to benefit from virtual learning were absolute bottom of the barrel. Working moms a close second.

It’s not like the rest of the country was also hunkering at home along with the parents of young kids. I saw so many of my child free friends taking advantage of cheap flights, going out to restaurants, etc. while my 5 year old sat at home on an iPad trying to learn how to read and I tried to cling to my job. So sorry, but I think parents of young kids have a right to feel like we’ve been abandoned by society. We sacrificed the well-being of the young to by and large save the elderly (many of which I saw living their lives out and about on social media as if there wasn’t even a pandemic!).

I just wanted to pull this part out because it is 100% true. Pretty much sums it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having small kids and taking care of them is the most isolating and tiring experience even when there is no pandemic.

People need to also understand that having more than 1 or 2 kids is not easy. No one owes the raising of your kids to you. The parents have to raise them. If they are lucky they will have paid or unpaid caregivers at various times but it is not a guarantee.

If you cannot do it on your own and do it well then don't have kids.

Oh shut up.

This poster isn’t wrong though…when the going gets tough, raising kids is entirely on the parents.

Yeah. I'm amused at all the parents who deliberately had kids back-to-back every 2 years or less and then ended up with 3-5 kids who outnumbered them.

The only 'plan' you had was for society to raise and care for your kid 80% of the time.

No wonder you were overwhelmed.

+100

I watched SAHMs with 3+ kids pull their hair out and wondered - what was your plan? You would only see them a few hours a day because they would be in daycare/school?

Some women I know got pregnant during the pandemic and look depressed now. But why do they keep making bad choices?

This is my friend who is complaining non-stop about her newborn, no sleep, high costs for diapers/essentials, and how hard it is. Well...yeah, I mean that's what you signed up for.

Ugh go back to the “childfree” forum on Reddit with your juvenile rants. Btw those kids and others will be taking care of you in your old age someday.

I hear this a lot. You don’t have kids to take care of you in your old age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It made me realize how invisible I am--no one really cares about me.

I suspect there are many that feel this way as people around them retreated. Isolation is very lonely.

Yes. Watching other families “bubble” with friends or family members only furthered my loneliness. My DH worked out of the house the whole time and people acted like me and my kids were dirty/infected. Horrible feeling.