This is stupid and crazy right?

[Anonymous]

Cat Wedding Lady is the new Bob Cat Girl

[Anonymous]

OP here. I meant to update this weekend but it was too hard to write with kids bouncing all over a hotel room. Hopefully, this update will not be anti-climaxic because overall the event was not a catastrophe -yes pun intended.

The cats were indeed the focal point of the wedding. Oreo wore a little tuxedo jacket but no pants. The cat genders were mixed between the bridesmaid and groomsmen. Cousin said that matching the personality of the cats to their human counter parts was more important that adhering to tradition. Can't argue with that one. One misstep that was caught at the rehearsal were the bouquets that the bridesmaids were supposed to carry. They had feathers and those dangle cat toys on them which were originally intended to keep the cats occupied during the ceremony. Some of the cats were overly excited by these, Oreo did not give a shit about his so I was able to keep my lovely bouquet. DH commented that even Oreo seemed to think that this whole cat wedding thing was stupid.

During the ceremony two cats were walked down the aisle in a stroller with a netting enclosure over the top so they wouldn't hop out. These were senior cats to highlight the need for people to adopt senior cats. One cat got loose and hid under some chairs. After a bunch of shuffling around as guests tried to catch the cat, they gave up and went on with the ceremony. The bride and groom carried kittens which mewed throughout the ceremony.

My bridesmaid dress was indeed several sizes too large. It was flowy and not fitted. One my aunts safety pinned the hem so that I wouldn't trip. DH said it looked like I was wearing a floral pink poncho. It did have a sash around the waist that was secured in the back by with weird snap paw print. I think the paw print was one of those iron on appliqués. My young daughter loved the dress. The outfit included a hat with feathers. We were all instructed to not hold the cats too high so they would not go for the hats. I was a bit worried since I am short and the bridesmaid behind me was tall. Her cat was more demonic than mine and kept eyeing my hat.

The reception was designed to function like a cat cafe/fundraiser. There was only soft music playing and no dancing. Guests were instructed to be calm around the cats and just exist. She had several of her friends from her cat rescue walking around like security guards following any children to make sure they didn't disturb the cats or that the cats did not get out. The menu was vegan -which is fine with me. I am not such a carnivore that I can't go for one meal without meat. A few relatives complained that it was hypocritical because the cat's were given meat in their cat food. The cat food was on the table but there was a place card in front of each clearly labeling it as cat food. Most guests moved the cat food to the floor which the cats seemed to prefer. The cats tended to stay under the tables with tablecloths hidden except for the kittens. The kittens had a grand time running around. So basically we all sat there listening to elevator music, eating our vegan zoodles, enjoying the whiffs of tuna cat food and wondering what to do because while watching kittens for 10 seconds can be fun it gets old fast. The toasts included praise for the few people who agreed to adopt cats and admonishments to those who could not find a place in their heart or home for an orphan. While I was warming up to Oreo's asshole attitude, it wasn't enough to take him home. Sorry buddy. This was about it.

Most of our close relatives were staying in the same hotel. We all had a drink in the bar together since the wedding was dry. One cousin announced that his future wedding would include snakes. I'm pretty sure he was joking but if not we'll be missing that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I meant to update this weekend but it was too hard to write with kids bouncing all over a hotel room. Hopefully, this update will not be anti-climaxic because overall the event was not a catastrophe -yes pun intended.

The cats were indeed the focal point of the wedding. Oreo wore a little tuxedo jacket but no pants. The cat genders were mixed between the bridesmaid and groomsmen. Cousin said that matching the personality of the cats to their human counter parts was more important that adhering to tradition. Can't argue with that one. One misstep that was caught at the rehearsal were the bouquets that the bridesmaids were supposed to carry. They had feathers and those dangle cat toys on them which were originally intended to keep the cats occupied during the ceremony. Some of the cats were overly excited by these, Oreo did not give a shit about his so I was able to keep my lovely bouquet. DH commented that even Oreo seemed to think that this whole cat wedding thing was stupid.

During the ceremony two cats were walked down the aisle in a stroller with a netting enclosure over the top so they wouldn't hop out. These were senior cats to highlight the need for people to adopt senior cats. One cat got loose and hid under some chairs. After a bunch of shuffling around as guests tried to catch the cat, they gave up and went on with the ceremony. The bride and groom carried kittens which mewed throughout the ceremony.

My bridesmaid dress was indeed several sizes too large. It was flowy and not fitted. One my aunts safety pinned the hem so that I wouldn't trip. DH said it looked like I was wearing a floral pink poncho. It did have a sash around the waist that was secured in the back by with weird snap paw print. I think the paw print was one of those iron on appliqués. My young daughter loved the dress. The outfit included a hat with feathers. We were all instructed to not hold the cats too high so they would not go for the hats. I was a bit worried since I am short and the bridesmaid behind me was tall. Her cat was more demonic than mine and kept eyeing my hat.

The reception was designed to function like a cat cafe/fundraiser. There was only soft music playing and no dancing. Guests were instructed to be calm around the cats and just exist. She had several of her friends from her cat rescue walking around like security guards following any children to make sure they didn't disturb the cats or that the cats did not get out. The menu was vegan -which is fine with me. I am not such a carnivore that I can't go for one meal without meat. A few relatives complained that it was hypocritical because the cat's were given meat in their cat food. The cat food was on the table but there was a place card in front of each clearly labeling it as cat food. Most guests moved the cat food to the floor which the cats seemed to prefer. The cats tended to stay under the tables with tablecloths hidden except for the kittens. The kittens had a grand time running around. So basically we all sat there listening to elevator music, eating our vegan zoodles, enjoying the whiffs of tuna cat food and wondering what to do because while watching kittens for 10 seconds can be fun it gets old fast. The toasts included praise for the few people who agreed to adopt cats and admonishments to those who could not find a place in their heart or home for an orphan. While I was warming up to Oreo's asshole attitude, it wasn't enough to take him home. Sorry buddy. This was about it.

Most of our close relatives were staying in the same hotel. We all had a drink in the bar together since the wedding was dry. One cousin announced that his future wedding would include snakes. I'm pretty sure he was joking but if not we'll be missing that one.

This is the greatest thing I have read in a long time. Bless you, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for bringing joy into my otherwise mundane Monday.

Also, I think Oreo is my spirit animal.

[Anonymous]

Wait, the wedding was DRY? WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I meant to update this weekend but it was too hard to write with kids bouncing all over a hotel room. Hopefully, this update will not be anti-climaxic because overall the event was not a catastrophe -yes pun intended.

The cats were indeed the focal point of the wedding. Oreo wore a little tuxedo jacket but no pants. The cat genders were mixed between the bridesmaid and groomsmen. Cousin said that matching the personality of the cats to their human counter parts was more important that adhering to tradition. Can't argue with that one. One misstep that was caught at the rehearsal were the bouquets that the bridesmaids were supposed to carry. They had feathers and those dangle cat toys on them which were originally intended to keep the cats occupied during the ceremony. Some of the cats were overly excited by these, Oreo did not give a shit about his so I was able to keep my lovely bouquet. DH commented that even Oreo seemed to think that this whole cat wedding thing was stupid.

During the ceremony two cats were walked down the aisle in a stroller with a netting enclosure over the top so they wouldn't hop out. These were senior cats to highlight the need for people to adopt senior cats. One cat got loose and hid under some chairs. After a bunch of shuffling around as guests tried to catch the cat, they gave up and went on with the ceremony. The bride and groom carried kittens which mewed throughout the ceremony.

My bridesmaid dress was indeed several sizes too large. It was flowy and not fitted. One my aunts safety pinned the hem so that I wouldn't trip. DH said it looked like I was wearing a floral pink poncho. It did have a sash around the waist that was secured in the back by with weird snap paw print. I think the paw print was one of those iron on appliqués. My young daughter loved the dress. The outfit included a hat with feathers. We were all instructed to not hold the cats too high so they would not go for the hats. I was a bit worried since I am short and the bridesmaid behind me was tall. Her cat was more demonic than mine and kept eyeing my hat.

The reception was designed to function like a cat cafe/fundraiser. There was only soft music playing and no dancing. Guests were instructed to be calm around the cats and just exist. She had several of her friends from her cat rescue walking around like security guards following any children to make sure they didn't disturb the cats or that the cats did not get out. The menu was vegan -which is fine with me. I am not such a carnivore that I can't go for one meal without meat. A few relatives complained that it was hypocritical because the cat's were given meat in their cat food. The cat food was on the table but there was a place card in front of each clearly labeling it as cat food. Most guests moved the cat food to the floor which the cats seemed to prefer. The cats tended to stay under the tables with tablecloths hidden except for the kittens. The kittens had a grand time running around. So basically we all sat there listening to elevator music, eating our vegan zoodles, enjoying the whiffs of tuna cat food and wondering what to do because while watching kittens for 10 seconds can be fun it gets old fast. The toasts included praise for the few people who agreed to adopt cats and admonishments to those who could not find a place in their heart or home for an orphan. While I was warming up to Oreo's asshole attitude, it wasn't enough to take him home. Sorry buddy. This was about it.

Most of our close relatives were staying in the same hotel. We all had a drink in the bar together since the wedding was dry. One cousin announced that his future wedding would include snakes. I'm pretty sure he was joking but if not we'll be missing that one.

OP, your deadpan style is hilarious. At least you'll have this story for the rest of your life. I could live off this story for A LONG time. Like, you have nailed "craziest wedding ever attended" competitions. (Just this weekend I was at a party and the group next to me was talking about a big fight at a wedding they had seen on youtube and I was able to drop in, oh, I was at a wedding where a fight broke out. It was New Jersey. Lots of police, etc etc. That's one wedding has given me a lot of party cred for a long time.

Too bad about Oreo. Here's hoping he finds the right forever home.

[Anonymous]

I love animals and love supporting rescues, but this is bat (not cat) shit crazy. Like, so crazy I’m not sure I believe it. OP, if you are a troll, get a job writing for a living. You are good at it.

[Anonymous]

OP - I realize one of the appeals of this board is that we are all anonymous but would you PLEASE consider outing yourself so you can post pictures from this wedding? I speak for the board, but we all need to see pictures from this wedding.

[Anonymous]

^ at least Oreo in pantless tux.

[Anonymous]

One cousin announced that his future wedding would include snakes.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I realize one of the appeals of this board is that we are all anonymous but would you PLEASE consider outing yourself so you can post pictures from this wedding? I speak for the board, but we all need to see pictures from this wedding.

Oh, yes! I would LOVE to see photos! Is there a wedding site? Could you post a link to it?

Thank you SO much for the update! Amazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I realize one of the appeals of this board is that we are all anonymous but would you PLEASE consider outing yourself so you can post pictures from this wedding? I speak for the board, but we all need to see pictures from this wedding.

At least post a photo with your face blurred. Pleeeease OP?
And one of Oreo in his tux, even though I believe putting clothes on cats is cruel.

[Anonymous]

I’m just reading this thread for the first time. The opening post made me choke with laughter. I tried to read it to my teenage daughter but I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get the words out. She told me to leave her room.

OP, thanks for making my evening.

[Anonymous]

OMG I am literally laughing out loud. This is amazing. OP please please post pictures? At least of the sensible Oreo?

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for the update. I can’t wait to hear about the eventual baby shower.