Thinking of sending my white child to Banneker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well there’s a difference between being stigmatized for an individual trait — fat, lazy, stupid, etc — and being stigmatized because you’re part of a racial or ethnic group, which is something you can’t escape no matter what you do.

Yes, there's a difference and I wouldn't say it's okay for a white kid to be mocked for being white. But the reality for many white children is that they belong to a powerful racial group that is widely accepted in society generally. It's not always easy to be in the numerical minority in a school but the fact is that white people work and live and shop in many places where they are seen as fitting in and "safe." A few insults will be uncomfortable even painful to a white kid in a majority minority school but it doesn't have the same kind of impact over all. ~mom of white kid who went to DCPS schools and survived. Also, I was called a "white bitch" two times in my majority black neighborhood. Not pleasant but not an issue given all the other white privilege I have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude white people come to DC not thinking as a majority or plurality of Americans how they can not be most of whoever is around. Then they live in Upper Upper which is still mostly white. I’m white and yeah it takes a minute to get used to being a minority - but it’s FINE. Your kid being in a school that’s mostly black or now mixed black and Hispanic is FINE. Sure. Cultural commonalities to be honest May not be as strong as some other situations but - don’t you LIKE doing new and interesting things and meeting new people? Isn’t a more unified American society something good we can pass onto our kids? It’s weird to say something like this but maybe it’s necessary: do not be afraid of black people. Just - don’t let your willingness to mix along that axis be part of your life. Move on. Your kids are going to be FINE.

It is because at some level, the white people posting still do not see minorities as people and peers. They don’t realize that if their kids go to school with all white kids they will be picked on for being fat, or ugly, or stupid, or smart, or whatever characteristic that sets them apart from others. But the fear of being called a cracker is a worse fear...uh ok?!

+1

Am I the only one who finds the use of "cracker" an oddity? Guess DC is really a southern city. For most of us northerners the correct colloquialism would be "honky" or "whitey." They're all so dated and meaningless. It's like calling someone a "hornswaggler."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude white people come to DC not thinking as a majority or plurality of Americans how they can not be most of whoever is around. Then they live in Upper Upper which is still mostly white. I’m white and yeah it takes a minute to get used to being a minority - but it’s FINE. Your kid being in a school that’s mostly black or now mixed black and Hispanic is FINE. Sure. Cultural commonalities to be honest May not be as strong as some other situations but - don’t you LIKE doing new and interesting things and meeting new people? Isn’t a more unified American society something good we can pass onto our kids? It’s weird to say something like this but maybe it’s necessary: do not be afraid of black people. Just - don’t let your willingness to mix along that axis be part of your life. Move on. Your kids are going to be FINE.

It is because at some level, the white people posting still do not see minorities as people and peers. They don’t realize that if their kids go to school with all white kids they will be picked on for being fat, or ugly, or stupid, or smart, or whatever characteristic that sets them apart from others. But the fear of being called a cracker is a worse fear...uh ok?!

Just to clarify, I'm not afraid my kid's going to be called a cracker. I mean, if I were, I wouldn't be sending my kid to a majority minority school. My fear is that at some point my middle-school kid is going to respond in kind--even though we've taught them from an early age the n-word is radioactive, and we never use the word at home or anywhere else (though they've certainly heard it used at school). Because at that point it's likely the adults get involved.

So, in short, what I'm concerned about is that adults will elevate middle-school nonsense to the level of local newscasts and we'll be back to hashing things out here on DCUM.

Woah. OK, this is a silly thing to worry about. You are basically saying that you're afraid that IF they are bullied for being white then your child may fight back ("well you're a N!") and then it will be in the news? Or at least get them detention? I think that's really the least of your concerns if you've brought them up well. If they are going to choose to be an idiot like that they'll have their butt handed to them in the cafeteria, and they'll deserve it. Would be a good lesson for them. I think you're fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude white people come to DC not thinking as a majority or plurality of Americans how they can not be most of whoever is around. Then they live in Upper Upper which is still mostly white. I’m white and yeah it takes a minute to get used to being a minority - but it’s FINE. Your kid being in a school that’s mostly black or now mixed black and Hispanic is FINE. Sure. Cultural commonalities to be honest May not be as strong as some other situations but - don’t you LIKE doing new and interesting things and meeting new people? Isn’t a more unified American society something good we can pass onto our kids? It’s weird to say something like this but maybe it’s necessary: do not be afraid of black people. Just - don’t let your willingness to mix along that axis be part of your life. Move on. Your kids are going to be FINE.

It is because at some level, the white people posting still do not see minorities as people and peers. They don’t realize that if their kids go to school with all white kids they will be picked on for being fat, or ugly, or stupid, or smart, or whatever characteristic that sets them apart from others. But the fear of being called a cracker is a worse fear...uh ok?!

+1

Am I the only one who finds the use of "cracker" an oddity? Guess DC is really a southern city. For most of us northerners the correct colloquialism would be "honky" or "whitey." They're all so dated and meaningless. It's like calling someone a "hornswaggler."

Yes! I'm black and I can't think of one time hearing one of those words used in all seriousness as an insult. It reminds me of reruns of The Jeffersons I used to watch as a kid, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well there’s a difference between being stigmatized for an individual trait — fat, lazy, stupid, etc — and being stigmatized because you’re part of a racial or ethnic group, which is something you can’t escape no matter what you do.

Yes, there's a difference and I wouldn't say it's okay for a white kid to be mocked for being white. But the reality for many white children is that they belong to a powerful racial group that is widely accepted in society generally. It's not always easy to be in the numerical minority in a school but the fact is that white people work and live and shop in many places where they are seen as fitting in and "safe." A few insults will be uncomfortable even painful to a white kid in a majority minority school but it doesn't have the same kind of impact over all. ~mom of white kid who went to DCPS schools and survived. Also, I was called a "white bitch" two times in my majority black neighborhood. Not pleasant but not an issue given all the other white privilege I have.

I think my actual point was that it's worse to be stigmatized because you're black or white or whatever than to be teased because of some trait more individual to yourself. My response was to the poster before me who seemed to be claiming the opposite. I certainly acknowledge that whites like myself are more likely to be accepted and even welcomed by other racial groups than vice versa. However, you being called racist names as an adult is no way equivalent to a child subjected to the same kind of bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well there’s a difference between being stigmatized for an individual trait — fat, lazy, stupid, etc — and being stigmatized because you’re part of a racial or ethnic group, which is something you can’t escape no matter what you do.

Yes, there's a difference and I wouldn't say it's okay for a white kid to be mocked for being white. But the reality for many white children is that they belong to a powerful racial group that is widely accepted in society generally. It's not always easy to be in the numerical minority in a school but the fact is that white people work and live and shop in many places where they are seen as fitting in and "safe." A few insults will be uncomfortable even painful to a white kid in a majority minority school but it doesn't have the same kind of impact over all. ~mom of white kid who went to DCPS schools and survived. Also, I was called a "white bitch" two times in my majority black neighborhood. Not pleasant but not an issue given all the other white privilege I have.

I think my actual point was that it's worse to be stigmatized because you're black or white or whatever than to be teased because of some trait more individual to yourself. My response was to the poster before me who seemed to be claiming the opposite. I certainly acknowledge that whites like myself are more likely to be accepted and even welcomed by other racial groups than vice versa. However, you being called racist names as an adult is no way equivalent to a child subjected to the same kind of bullying.

Yes, I think I noted that. Apologies if that was not apparent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would worry about bullying. Your child will be the only white kid. Will they be comfortable? Will YOU be comfortable with your kid dating black teens.

Are yall exaggerating? Are there literally no white students? Is it truly 100% AA? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would worry about bullying. Your child will be the only white kid. Will they be comfortable? Will YOU be comfortable with your kid dating black teens.

Are yall exaggerating? Are there literally no white students? Is it truly 100% AA? Why?

This is DCPS. No it’s not an exaggeration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would worry about bullying. Your child will be the only white kid. Will they be comfortable? Will YOU be comfortable with your kid dating black teens.

Are yall exaggerating? Are there literally no white students? Is it truly 100% AA? Why?

This is DCPS. No it’s not an exaggeration.

That's actually incorrect. Here's the data from the 2017-2018 school year--it was 74% black at that time.

http://profiles.dcps.dc.gov/Benjamin+Banneker+High+School

[Anonymous]

Not quite: Banneker is 1% white, so around 5 students. Also a small number of students who identify as Asian and multiple races, plus 20 percent Hispanic/Latino.

http://profiles.dcps.dc.gov/Benjamin+Banneker+High+School

STUDENT DEMOGRAPHICS
(2017-18)
Enrollment: 482

Black: 74%
Hispanic/Latino: 20%
White: 1%
Asian: 3%
Pacific/Hawaiian: 0%
Native/Alaskan: 0%
Multiple races: 2%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude white people come to DC not thinking as a majority or plurality of Americans how they can not be most of whoever is around. Then they live in Upper Upper which is still mostly white. I’m white and yeah it takes a minute to get used to being a minority - but it’s FINE. Your kid being in a school that’s mostly black or now mixed black and Hispanic is FINE. Sure. Cultural commonalities to be honest May not be as strong as some other situations but - don’t you LIKE doing new and interesting things and meeting new people? Isn’t a more unified American society something good we can pass onto our kids? It’s weird to say something like this but maybe it’s necessary: do not be afraid of black people. Just - don’t let your willingness to mix along that axis be part of your life. Move on. Your kids are going to be FINE.

It is because at some level, the white people posting still do not see minorities as people and peers. They don’t realize that if their kids go to school with all white kids they will be picked on for being fat, or ugly, or stupid, or smart, or whatever characteristic that sets them apart from others. But the fear of being called a cracker is a worse fear...uh ok?!

Just to clarify, I'm not afraid my kid's going to be called a cracker. I mean, if I were, I wouldn't be sending my kid to a majority minority school. My fear is that at some point my middle-school kid is going to respond in kind--even though we've taught them from an early age the n-word is radioactive, and we never use the word at home or anywhere else (though they've certainly heard it used at school). Because at that point it's likely the adults get involved.

So, in short, what I'm concerned about is that adults will elevate middle-school nonsense to the level of local newscasts and we'll be back to hashing things out here on DCUM.

Woah. OK, this is a silly thing to worry about. You are basically saying that you're afraid that IF they are bullied for being white then your child may fight back ("well you're a N!") and then it will be in the news? Or at least get them detention? I think that's really the least of your concerns if you've brought them up well. If they are going to choose to be an idiot like that they'll have their butt handed to them in the cafeteria, and they'll deserve it. Would be a good lesson for them. I think you're fine.

I think "silly" is unnecessarily dismissive, given that this made national news a month ago.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/prominent-scholar-says-a-racist-slur-was-hurled-at-his-6-year-old-grandson-at-a-dc-public-elementary-school/2019/05/01/ead88da6-6cca-4d8c-9414-d4270dda75a9_story.html

Adults lost their damned minds.

Just to unpack some of what you're saying (most of which I agree with):

You are basically saying that you're afraid that IF they are bullied for being white then your child may fight back ("well you're a N!") and then it will be in the news? Or at least get them detention?

I think that's really the least of your concerns if you've brought them up well.

That's a big "if". And I've been a parent for long enough to have a bit of skepticism towards that kind of thinking.

If they are going to choose to be an idiot like that they'll have their butt handed to them in the cafeteria, and they'll deserve it. Would be a good lesson for them.

I mean, maybe? Or maybe they'll kick someone else's butt in the cafeteria. Or maybe all the race-based taunting will cause the student body to split along color lines like a state penitentiary.

I think you're fine.

Yep, I agree. I think the positives outweigh the negatives, otherwise I wouldn't put my kid in that situation.

[Anonymous]

I think if you're obsessed about whether your kid is going to get bullied by the studious, high-achieving Banneker kids, as opposed to whether the Banneker model will be good fit for your particular kid ...you should probably just skip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you're obsessed about whether your kid is going to get bullied by the studious, high-achieving Banneker kids, as opposed to whether the Banneker model will be good fit for your particular kid ...you should probably just skip it.

My guess is that white families avoid Banneker because it's a de facto "black space" and it's unclear whether a white kid applying would be seen as intruding, instead of fears of bullying, etc... But I do think it's a large factor in continuing segregation of DCPS in general. Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well there’s a difference between being stigmatized for an individual trait — fat, lazy, stupid, etc — and being stigmatized because you’re part of a racial or ethnic group, which is something you can’t escape no matter what you do.

Yes, there's a difference and I wouldn't say it's okay for a white kid to be mocked for being white. But the reality for many white children is that they belong to a powerful racial group that is widely accepted in society generally. It's not always easy to be in the numerical minority in a school but the fact is that white people work and live and shop in many places where they are seen as fitting in and "safe." A few insults will be uncomfortable even painful to a white kid in a majority minority school but it doesn't have the same kind of impact over all. ~mom of white kid who went to DCPS schools and survived. Also, I was called a "white bitch" two times in my majority black neighborhood. Not pleasant but not an issue given all the other white privilege I have.

In Chocolate City, for the last 50 years, it's the precise opposite. Substitute black for white and white for black and you will come closer to the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you're obsessed about whether your kid is going to get bullied by the studious, high-achieving Banneker kids, as opposed to whether the Banneker model will be good fit for your particular kid ...you should probably just skip it.

My guess is that white families avoid Banneker because it's a de facto "black space" and it's unclear whether a white kid applying would be seen as intruding, instead of fears of bullying, etc... But I do think it's a large factor in continuing segregation of DCPS in general. Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away.

Ignoring what? White family's refusal to integrate?

If that's your fear fine, but then don't go saying, "there are no challenges in DCPS, we just had to go private/MCPS/for our advanced learner!"