Let's have some fun today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "I love to watch you play" parents. In theory it sounds nice but after uttering those words the first time, it is time to move on.

Yes. It amazes me that there have been articles written that suggest "I love watching you play" is the only appropriate thing for a parent to say after a game, and that so many people think they will harm their child if they say anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parent who simplifies the explanation of why their child's team isn't winning by explaining, "You guys need to attack the ball more and be more aggressive!"

Imagine that. Attacking *the ball* more.

+1

If kids aren’t stepping up and getting beat to the ball over and over again or there are 2-3 opposing shirts every time somebody on your team has the ball- they are slacking. The terminology is off, but I assume that is what they mean. And, 5 second rule- as soon as the ball is lost they need to fight to win it back immediately—everyone.

I’m not the one yelling that, but damn I hate watching the lack of passion for the ball.

+1

[Anonymous]

FPYCparent wrote:Didn't want to disappoint my fans. I think I'm close to finishing page 1 for the diagram. It's making the connections that are tough. (:

https://kumu.io/freemynook/youth-sports-personalities

Remember, you can zoom in and out, drag-and-drop, click once (or twice!)

Oh yeah, just reload the page in case I've added more!

Holy Crapolla, you just took this to the next level!

[Anonymous]

FPYCparent wrote:Didn't want to disappoint my fans. I think I'm close to finishing page 1 for the diagram. It's making the connections that are tough. (:

https://kumu.io/freemynook/youth-sports-personalities

Remember, you can zoom in and out, drag-and-drop, click once (or twice!)

Oh yeah, just reload the page in case I've added more!

I love this! But I do not love the “we got next coach”

[Anonymous]

I’m the overly nice mom (swear I’m not flirting), the kicking the air mom and the sideline juggler but I’m not showing off any skills, I’m terrible but it really is just fun to play around.

[Anonymous]

FPYCparent wrote:Didn't want to disappoint my fans. I think I'm close to finishing page 1 for the diagram. It's making the connections that are tough. (:

https://kumu.io/freemynook/youth-sports-personalities

Remember, you can zoom in and out, drag-and-drop, click once (or twice!)

Oh yeah, just reload the page in case I've added more!

FPYCparent, you are a national treasure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parent who simplifies the explanation of why their child's team isn't winning by explaining, "You guys need to attack the ball more and be more aggressive!"

Imagine that. Attacking *the ball* more.

+1

If kids aren’t stepping up and getting beat to the ball over and over again or there are 2-3 opposing shirts every time somebody on your team has the ball- they are slacking. The terminology is off, but I assume that is what they mean. And, 5 second rule- as soon as the ball is lost they need to fight to win it back immediately—everyone.

I’m not the one yelling that, but damn I hate watching the lack of passion for the ball.

I think the terminology is fine, and it's true for some teams and players.

[Anonymous]

Parents demanding an offside on a throw in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The wiggling in her chair mom, who writhes and kicks as though she is in her daughter's body and playing the game right along with her. Closely related to the pacer, who walks the sideline, leaning and kicking as though she's on the pitch and/or controlling her child like a voodoo doll.

The photographer. Able to fill a 1 Tb data card per game. Closely related to the iPhone videographer, with shaky video footage from every game since U6.

The statistician. Soccer's Moneyball dude, in real life. Want to know where this goalie dove on the last 17 PKs and the odds she'll go left? He knows.

The "when I played" mom. Everything circles back to how things were "back in the day."

The dad-ref. He referees too, so he must call the game for all those on the sideline, correcting the real ref and explaining why he's wrong.

The linesman chatter-upper. Got a joke or observation, might as well tell the linesman, since I'm sure he wants to have a conversation with random parents while he's working.

The wears shorts no matter the weather dude. 25 degrees, I'm in shorts and sandals. Ignore my blue toes and the fact that I'm freezing my nutz off, cuz I'm in shorts, bro.

The club defender. Defend your child's club at all costs. It is perfect and cannot be criticized. Suggest an improvement or acknowledge something wrong, hellz no, bizatch. We're the best.

The grass is greener guy. Always talking about what another club is doing. Maybe it is better over there. Dude, take your kid there if you don't like it here.

The flirt. Soccer mama's got it goin' on and ain't afraid to show it.

The extra trainer. Lil Johnny practices 4 days a week and has 3 games on the weekend. Wonder if we can squeeze in 2 more days of private training and one day of conditioning.

The guy who turns his hotel room into party central on road trips. Weekend away, I'm turnin' my room into the bar, bro.

Gotsoccer rankings dude. Chasin' points at U9 and lovin' it, baby. We're ranked!

Panera mom. If there is ever a question relating to food during a tournament, is there ever an answer that isn't Panera?

Futsal mom. We're not taking a break from soccer. Ever. If there's a tourney on the East coast, we're going. $1500 for 3 games, we're in. Closely related to 3v3 dad. Who's in for another trip to Disney?!

DA dad. DA rules the roost. Everything not sanctioned by USSoccer is second tier. My kid is going to the national team and was seen by 73 colleges at her showcase. Siamese twin to ECNL dad. And almost all of us crazies here on DCUM.

I love this.

I wish humor showed up more often here, instead of insults. You people are funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The head injury denier. The keeper just took a knee to the noggin and can't stand up straight, but that dizziness will just go away. She's just a little foggy, but stay in there because the game is close.

The everything is a concussion mom. My U12 daughter headed a volleyball at practice last night to learn proper form, but woke up tired today. Wonder if she might have a concussion. May as well see the Dr again today.

The tent guy. DC is hot in the summer, but not in this tent its not. There are glampers in the Sahara with less protection from the sun. Wait till you see the size of my umbrella, dude. Want something from my Yeti cooler? It still has ice from last summer.

Big hat lady. That square meter of brim on ladies' golf hats has nothing on my sombrero, yo.

The overzealous chaperone. If there's chaperonin' that needs a doin', I'm there. Free trip!

Chaperone with free-range kids. Yes, I'm watching the girls, but I thought it would be okay for them to walk to the gas station to get some snacks. There isn't much around, so it must be safe. Check in with me in the morning.

The over-hydrator. Johnny looked tired today. Wonder if it's because he didn't drink enough today. I'm half way thru my third gallon of the day. Where's the porta-potty?

The snack mom. Orange slices anyone? Ma, we're U19 and we stopped that when we left rec soccer. But we did like your big-ass donuts you brought after practice to celebrate a birthday.

The car pooler. Ya, I'll drive again. You ever gonna take a turn?

New gear dad. Isn't this like the fourth pair of $250 Nike's Tommy has worn this season? It is only March, how is that possible?

The fashionista. Yes, I'm wearing high heels on the sideline, carrying a purse that costs as much as this season's club dues.

The anti-fashionista. Yes, I'm in sweats and sneakers, and you're lucky I threw on a bra today. The ponytail's for you.

The team treasurer. Yes, I may or may not work for some undisclosed three-letter government agency, but club finances require me to have your PayPal credentials and ability to withdraw directly from your checking account. You owed this month, too, but I fixed your shortfall.

The nutritionist. Can the kids really eat this close to a game/this soon after a game/between games/this early in the morning/this late at night?

The speeder. You've been to Poolesville a hundred times to play on a horse pasture, but you still get a speeding ticket mailed to you. Every. Year.

And we're all going to miss all of it when the kids are grown and gone . . .

[Anonymous]

CCL future next Gen league for U3's. Hosted by the $aint Jame$

[Anonymous]

Cheer Mom who yells Great Job Peyton! Every time her kid touches the ball, whether it was good, bad or just an accident.

Know it all Dad who mansplains how bad the current travel team is in detail and how much better their child is.

Loud Mom team manager who screams non-stop throughout the game, embarrassing other parents on her team as well as her child.

Lawyer Dad who disparages his kid and his teammates on the field and then threatens the team manager when they ask him to calm down and then pulls out a tape recorder.

Former player dad who is so excited that their kid plays soccer but everyone can tell the kid only plays because Dad would be devastated if they quit.

[Anonymous]

Man, I wish my kid's sideline was half this interesting!! No flirty moms, no drinkin' dads, barely any yellers....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The Latin parent who gets overly emotional at any mistake their child has. Encourages their child to dribble the length of the field and never look to pass to a teammate no matter even if its the correct play.

Anonymous wrote:
Th spanish family who's son is obviously 14 with a mustache playing for the same u11 team that his 12 yr old brother plays for.

So I guess for some of you "let's have some fun today" means it's time to trot out your favorite ignorant ethnic stereotypes and try to get a good laugh. 'Cause hey, it's OK to be a racist when you can be anonymous about it, right?

+1000 Fun post but hate that the racists need to screw it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The Latin parent who gets overly emotional at any mistake their child has. Encourages their child to dribble the length of the field and never look to pass to a teammate no matter even if its the correct play.

Anonymous wrote:
Th spanish family who's son is obviously 14 with a mustache playing for the same u11 team that his 12 yr old brother plays for.

So I guess for some of you "let's have some fun today" means it's time to trot out your favorite ignorant ethnic stereotypes and try to get a good laugh. 'Cause hey, it's OK to be a racist when you can be anonymous about it, right?

+1000 Fun post but hate that the racists need to screw it up.

Now lets look at the bigger picture. the real racist are the clubs. They out price the lower income families from competing for the same roster spots as the child from a more affluent family. The pay to play model is far worse in the bigger picture. the latin fun comment was laughed at earlier in the thread by a latino. My question is would anyone take offense if the comment would have been "The slow non athletic white kid who constantly kicks the ball with no direction and loses possession every time after 3 dribbles."? That's racist as well, But also funny because every club has more than their fair share of this stereo type. Lets just all have fun. Every post on here you can find offense with if you look at it from someone else point of view. Except the slow non athletic white kid . Those parents are totally blind about their own kid. and truly believe little Johnny is great. Just lighten up a bit enjoy the day warm weather is right around the corner.