My story: Accused of Residency Fraud

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thing to be considered:

Kids in foster care have the right to continue attending school at their usual school even if placed outside their attendance area.

Schools cannot deny enrollment to homeless students, and a student who becomes homeless and is temporarily staying outside the attendance area is entitled to remain in the school.

And if a kid is in foster care or is homeless, it's nobody's business.

Exactly.

So OP's kids are in neither of those categories.

OP simply feels entitled to move around as she pleases, including using living in random airbnbs and renting MD cars and having absolutely no one question her, because, hey, she is more special than everyone else in the waitlist.

The posts in this thread are really disappointing. The nearly complete lack of compassion being demonstrated is incredible. Do you think the OP wanted to move out of her home? Do you think she was taking some sort of vacation? Entitlement is not being forced to flee your home and then becoming the object of gossip and innuendo. Entitlement is being able to live with such little apathy that you believe someone in that situation might think of themselves as "special".

Many people take issue with OP's conclusion that, based on what happened to her, people shouldn't report suspected residency cheaters. That doesn't remotely follow.

Brilliant summary

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What hurt was caused?

Exactly!!!!!

No hurt was caused.

OP did something quite strange, she was reported, and she simply proved she had done nothing wrong.

Those are the facts.

Now, facts are boring, so let's are the drama....

Those are not the complete facts. The OP's sense of community in her children's school was destroyed. Her trust in people she may have liked was lost. She may have had to disclose sensitive and embarrassing personal affairs to explain her innocence. The OP was considered guilty until she proved her innocence and that is exactly how many of you think it should be. Any complaints are derided as "drama".

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people take issue with OP's conclusion that, based on what happened to her, people shouldn't report suspected residency cheaters. That doesn't remotely follow.

That wasn't the OP's conclusion. The OP's conclusion was, "Before reporting suspected parents, please consider the hurt you may cause to those who truly don’t deserve it."

But, since "considering the hurt you may cause" seems to be an alien concept to many posters in this thread, I am not surprised that this created confusion. The OP is saying that before you report someone, you better be damn sure they are guilty because you are potentially going to unnecessarily cause them hurt. People who are struggling with difficult situations don't need one more kick while they are down, even if they are later able to prove they didn't deserve the kick.

I don't believe that. I think you need to have a good faith basis to believe residency cheating is occurring -- and maybe the person who reported OP had that, and maybe they didn't. And I don't think someone should stalk a family to take pictures and the like.

But if you establish the threshold as "pretty damn sure they are guilty" you will have very few reports, and you will encourage parents to do self investigations to see if they can get to that level of proof. The better system for all involved is to provide relevant information to the proper authorities and let them handle it.

People don't need an extra kick (no matter how minimal), but you also don't want a system where people cheat taxpayers with impunity and DC has proven that without tips (and often with them) they won't take steps to crack down on residency fraud -- which is theft, not some victimless crime, no matter how sympathetic some (but far from all) people committing the fraud may be.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thing to be considered:

Kids in foster care have the right to continue attending school at their usual school even if placed outside their attendance area.

Schools cannot deny enrollment to homeless students, and a student who becomes homeless and is temporarily staying outside the attendance area is entitled to remain in the school.

And if a kid is in foster care or is homeless, it's nobody's business.

Exactly.

So OP's kids are in neither of those categories.

OP simply feels entitled to move around as she pleases, including using living in random airbnbs and renting MD cars and having absolutely no one question her, because, hey, she is more special than everyone else in the waitlist.

The posts in this thread are really disappointing. The nearly complete lack of compassion being demonstrated is incredible. Do you think the OP wanted to move out of her home? Do you think she was taking some sort of vacation? Entitlement is not being forced to flee your home and then becoming the object of gossip and innuendo. Entitlement is being able to live with such little apathy that you believe someone in that situation might think of themselves as "special".

Wow.

Jeff, you truly live in some kind of special bubble.

A bubble very very far from DCUM, where every day I read multiple posts by desperate families trying to figure out which school their kids will be able to attend, carefully evaluating many factors as clearly stated by DCPS rules, and doing their best, sometimes getting lucky and often not.

But, hey, who cares about the rules. Even worse, hey, why I should be bothered to show I followed the rules, that's so much below me.

Enjoy the wealthy bubble, must feel so right.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What hurt was caused?

Exactly!!!!!

No hurt was caused.

OP did something quite strange, she was reported, and she simply proved she had done nothing wrong.

Those are the facts.

Now, facts are boring, so let's are the drama....

Those are not the complete facts. The OP's sense of community in her children's school was destroyed. Her trust in people she may have liked was lost. She may have had to disclose sensitive and embarrassing personal affairs to explain her innocence. The OP was considered guilty until she proved her innocence and that is exactly how many of you think it should be. Any complaints are derided as "drama".

DP. That is a very dramatic recitation of what occurred. One, or maybe a few, busybodies reported and/or gossiped about her and that 'destroyed her sense of community in the school.' That shattered her trust in people broadly? In terms of disclosing sensitive information, that is purely speculative, would require disclosure only to the investigators not parents/the school, and presumably could be limited to the fact that she had temporary housing without going into the details of why.

How was she considered guilty until proven innocent? The only way that is remotely accurate is if you look only at the folks gossiping, and even then that probably isn't an accurate reading of what they were doing. There is no reason to think that the investigators thought she was guilty at the start -- they were simply investigating. I'm also not sure who has advocated assuming guilt -- people seem to simply think it is reasonable to investigate.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thing to be considered:

Kids in foster care have the right to continue attending school at their usual school even if placed outside their attendance area.

Schools cannot deny enrollment to homeless students, and a student who becomes homeless and is temporarily staying outside the attendance area is entitled to remain in the school.

And if a kid is in foster care or is homeless, it's nobody's business.

Exactly.

So OP's kids are in neither of those categories.

OP simply feels entitled to move around as she pleases, including using living in random airbnbs and renting MD cars and having absolutely no one question her, because, hey, she is more special than everyone else in the waitlist.

The posts in this thread are really disappointing. The nearly complete lack of compassion being demonstrated is incredible. Do you think the OP wanted to move out of her home? Do you think she was taking some sort of vacation? Entitlement is not being forced to flee your home and then becoming the object of gossip and innuendo. Entitlement is being able to live with such little apathy that you believe someone in that situation might think of themselves as "special".

Wow.

Jeff, you truly live in some kind of special bubble.

A bubble very very far from DCUM, where every day I read multiple posts by desperate families trying to figure out which school their kids will be able to attend, carefully evaluating many factors as clearly stated by DCPS rules, and doing their best, sometimes getting lucky and often not.

But, hey, who cares about the rules. Even worse, hey, why I should be bothered to show I followed the rules, that's so much below me.

Enjoy the wealthy bubble, must feel so right.

Yeah, I live very far from DCUM even though I own it and read posts on it all day long every day. You are quite the genius. Moreover, my family has been one of those that was desperate to find the best school for our kids. I probably know what that's like better than you. But, I can still have empathy for someone who had to deal with a difficult situation only to have it compounded by unnecessary insult. The inability of so many of you to do that is really disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thing to be considered:

Kids in foster care have the right to continue attending school at their usual school even if placed outside their attendance area.

Schools cannot deny enrollment to homeless students, and a student who becomes homeless and is temporarily staying outside the attendance area is entitled to remain in the school.

And if a kid is in foster care or is homeless, it's nobody's business.

Exactly.

So OP's kids are in neither of those categories.

OP simply feels entitled to move around as she pleases, including using living in random airbnbs and renting MD cars and having absolutely no one question her, because, hey, she is more special than everyone else in the waitlist.

The posts in this thread are really disappointing. The nearly complete lack of compassion being demonstrated is incredible. Do you think the OP wanted to move out of her home? Do you think she was taking some sort of vacation? Entitlement is not being forced to flee your home and then becoming the object of gossip and innuendo. Entitlement is being able to live with such little apathy that you believe someone in that situation might think of themselves as "special".

Many people take issue with OP's conclusion that, based on what happened to her, people shouldn't report suspected residency cheaters. That doesn't remotely follow.

+1000 and most kids in foster care or living with grandma don't have this issue says someone who has been a social worker and works in school. Really not understanding the logic on this post...

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:+1000 and most kids in foster care or living with grandma don't have this issue says someone who has been a social worker and works in school. Really not understanding the logic on this post...

What don't you understand? Most kids in foster care or living with grandma probably don't have people following them to their temporary housing, taking photos of them, and then providing those photos to the school. But, just because most of them don't, doesn't mean that it didn't happen to the OP. It certainly doesn't mean that you can't show some compassion for the OP.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thing to be considered:

Kids in foster care have the right to continue attending school at their usual school even if placed outside their attendance area.

Schools cannot deny enrollment to homeless students, and a student who becomes homeless and is temporarily staying outside the attendance area is entitled to remain in the school.

And if a kid is in foster care or is homeless, it's nobody's business.

Exactly.

So OP's kids are in neither of those categories.

OP simply feels entitled to move around as she pleases, including using living in random airbnbs and renting MD cars and having absolutely no one question her, because, hey, she is more special than everyone else in the waitlist.

The posts in this thread are really disappointing. The nearly complete lack of compassion being demonstrated is incredible. Do you think the OP wanted to move out of her home? Do you think she was taking some sort of vacation? Entitlement is not being forced to flee your home and then becoming the object of gossip and innuendo. Entitlement is being able to live with such little apathy that you believe someone in that situation might think of themselves as "special".

Wow.

Jeff, you truly live in some kind of special bubble.

A bubble very very far from DCUM, where every day I read multiple posts by desperate families trying to figure out which school their kids will be able to attend, carefully evaluating many factors as clearly stated by DCPS rules, and doing their best, sometimes getting lucky and often not.

But, hey, who cares about the rules. Even worse, hey, why I should be bothered to show I followed the rules, that's so much below me.

Enjoy the wealthy bubble, must feel so right.

Yeah, I live very far from DCUM even though I own it and read posts on it all day long every day. You are quite the genius. Moreover, my family has been one of those that was desperate to find the best school for our kids. I probably know what that's like better than you. But, I can still have empathy for someone who had to deal with a difficult situation only to have it compounded by unnecessary insult. The inability of so many of you to do that is really disappointing.

I think having been in similar situation or aware of situations in schools, most people are giving this person the benefit of the doubt but not quite believing this happened the way it did - such as the actual school confronting her with photos taken by vigilante parents, etc! I have empathy for parents trying to find the best schools for their child, children in non-typical situations, transient families, and children in foster care and in shelters.

[Anonymous]

Residency fraud is so common. If I saw you dropping off your kid with Maryland tags, and heard that you were no longer living inbounds for the school, I would be complicit if I didn't report you. You're not above the rules. The investigation would clear you, and I wouldn't need to know anything else about it.

I hate to say it but I'd be less likely to report someone if they were really nice, friendly, kind people. I'm guessing that you're a bit of a difficult person, based on your post. You probably rubbed people the wrong way, and they no longer felt comfortable knowing that you could be cheating the system.

And ... something is off with your story. Just my two cents, but it sounds like you're taking advantage of the system.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's another thing to be considered:

Kids in foster care have the right to continue attending school at their usual school even if placed outside their attendance area.

Schools cannot deny enrollment to homeless students, and a student who becomes homeless and is temporarily staying outside the attendance area is entitled to remain in the school.

And if a kid is in foster care or is homeless, it's nobody's business.

Exactly.

So OP's kids are in neither of those categories.

OP simply feels entitled to move around as she pleases, including using living in random airbnbs and renting MD cars and having absolutely no one question her, because, hey, she is more special than everyone else in the waitlist.

The posts in this thread are really disappointing. The nearly complete lack of compassion being demonstrated is incredible. Do you think the OP wanted to move out of her home? Do you think she was taking some sort of vacation? Entitlement is not being forced to flee your home and then becoming the object of gossip and innuendo. Entitlement is being able to live with such little apathy that you believe someone in that situation might think of themselves as "special".

Wow.

Jeff, you truly live in some kind of special bubble.

A bubble very very far from DCUM, where every day I read multiple posts by desperate families trying to figure out which school their kids will be able to attend, carefully evaluating many factors as clearly stated by DCPS rules, and doing their best, sometimes getting lucky and often not.

But, hey, who cares about the rules. Even worse, hey, why I should be bothered to show I followed the rules, that's so much below me.

Enjoy the wealthy bubble, must feel so right.

Yeah, I live very far from DCUM even though I own it and read posts on it all day long every day. You are quite the genius. Moreover, my family has been one of those that was desperate to find the best school for our kids. I probably know what that's like better than you. But, I can still have empathy for someone who had to deal with a difficult situation only to have it compounded by unnecessary insult. The inability of so many of you to do that is really disappointing.

OMG.

Yes, by using your first name I showed I knew who are are, and therefore I know you read these threads all the time.

My point stands. You read these threads, you moderate them and censor them, but still you live somewhere very far from them. Very far from us.

You are acting like the stereotypical limo liberal. "How do you dare challenge OP? Why oh why should she have to prove where she actually lives? Isn't doing that truly demeaning? I'm so so so disappointed in all of you, my little children."

Maybe you should engage in more real conversations with all of us.

PS: I believe DCUM is a great resource, and I thank you. But please treat us as adults.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not have any friends within the school? Do you not have playdates, birthday parties? Not on any committees or groups within the school where you'd get to know people a bit? People who know you would know that you've moved and/or are driving a rental car, or at least would know you well enough not to suspect you of fraud!!

How can you mourn the loss of community when it seems like you are completely disconnected from everyone at your school?

Yes, put the blame firmly where it belongs, on the victim. Posters in this thread are incredible and lead to days like this when I question why I run this crappy website.

Man, Jeff, this post really sums it up. More often than not these days I wonder this on your behalf. This is one depressing thread.

OP, I’m so sorry for what happened to you and that your family had to deal with this frustration on top of the trauma you experienced in your home. I hope things are looking up and wish you all the best.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:OMG.

Yes, by using your first name I showed I knew who are are, and therefore I know you read these threads all the time.

My point stands. You read these threads, you moderate them and censor them, but still you live somewhere very far from them. Very far from us.

You are acting like the stereotypical limo liberal. "How do you dare challenge OP? Why oh why should she have to prove where she actually lives? Isn't doing that truly demeaning? I'm so so so disappointed in all of you, my little children."

Maybe you should engage in more real conversations with all of us.

PS: I believe DCUM is a great resource, and I thank you. But please treat us as adults.

What a strange post. As I said, not only do I read these posts, I have personally experienced struggling with the school situation in DC. Since we have apparently reached the point where we are characterizing each other, let me give it a shot. Unlike my family, I don't think you live in a neighborhood whose inbound school didn't meet your expectations and had to put your children's future into the hands of the lottery (or move). I don't think potential cheaters actually threatened spaces that might have otherwise gone to your child or children. I've been in that situation. What makes you think that I need to talk to anyone to learn what that's like? Maybe you should take some of your own advice and have a real conversation with the OP instead of writing her off as a drama queen, troll, or someone who got exactly what she deserved? I am disappointed because I apparently run a forum that has attracted a huge number of people incapable of showing simple compassion. Who, given the choice of showing support and understanding, simply being quiet, or acting like jerks, chose the third option. What is wrong with you people that you can't simply be nice?

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG.

Yes, by using your first name I showed I knew who are are, and therefore I know you read these threads all the time.

My point stands. You read these threads, you moderate them and censor them, but still you live somewhere very far from them. Very far from us.

You are acting like the stereotypical limo liberal. "How do you dare challenge OP? Why oh why should she have to prove where she actually lives? Isn't doing that truly demeaning? I'm so so so disappointed in all of you, my little children."

Maybe you should engage in more real conversations with all of us.

PS: I believe DCUM is a great resource, and I thank you. But please treat us as adults.

What a strange post. As I said, not only do I read these posts, I have personally experienced struggling with the school situation in DC. Since we have apparently reached the point where we are characterizing each other, let me give it a shot. Unlike my family, I don't think you live in a neighborhood whose inbound school didn't meet your expectations and had to put your children's future into the hands of the lottery (or move). I don't think potential cheaters actually threatened spaces that might have otherwise gone to your child or children. I've been in that situation. What makes you think that I need to talk to anyone to learn what that's like? Maybe you should take some of your own advice and have a real conversation with the OP instead of writing her off as a drama queen, troll, or someone who got exactly what she deserved? I am disappointed because I apparently run a forum that has attracted a huge number of people incapable of showing simple compassion. Who, given the choice of showing support and understanding, simply being quiet, or acting like jerks, chose the third option. What is wrong with you people that you can't simply be nice?

You know as well as anyone that thousands of DC families don't get the schools they want for their kids.

Probably it's tens of thousands of families.

But, according to you, we should all extend the red carpet for someone coming from somewhere else, and --this is critical in this case, as it's the whole point-- not even ask any challenging questions, or verify requirements.

Well, what can I say. I think you are wrong, and prejudiced against thousands of DC families.

Your compassion is very selective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Residency fraud is so common. If I saw you dropping off your kid with Maryland tags, and heard that you were no longer living inbounds for the school, I would be complicit if I didn't report you. You're not above the rules. The investigation would clear you, and I wouldn't need to know anything else about it.

I hate to say it but I'd be less likely to report someone if they were really nice, friendly, kind people. I'm guessing that you're a bit of a difficult person, based on your post. You probably rubbed people the wrong way, and they no longer felt comfortable knowing that you could be cheating the system.

And ... something is off with your story. Just my two cents, but it sounds like you're taking advantage of the system.

What if the system was designed to favor those willing and able to take advantage of the system?