Picky kids coming to visit - now I've seen it all

[Anonymous]

That is so not correct, unless you lived in the UK and Ireland, which are almost as bad as the US. We lived in France and our kids’ friends came from all over the world. Every thing I put on the table (veggies, fruits, guacamole, crepes, hot dogs, pasta bolognese) always got eaten. Sure, one kid would pick out the diced tomatoes and push them to the side, and another wasn’t allowed to eat pork, and another didn’t like pineapple because it made his mouth tingle. But I never had the sweeping broad rejection of foods I get here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is so not correct, unless you lived in the UK and Ireland, which are almost as bad as the US. We lived in France and our kids’ friends came from all over the world. Every thing I put on the table (veggies, fruits, guacamole, crepes, hot dogs, pasta bolognese) always got eaten. Sure, one kid would pick out the diced tomatoes and push them to the side, and another wasn’t allowed to eat pork, and another didn’t like pineapple because it made his mouth tingle. But I never had the sweeping broad rejection of foods I get here.

I have lived in Italy, Ireland, and the Netherlands. In my experience the idea that European kids aren't as picky as American kids is unobservant hogwash.

There are picky kids everywhere. There are plenty of Italian kids who will only eat plain pasta, for instance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do you guys suggest doing to prevent picky eaters?

My son is 1.5 and very picky already. I do tough love and just feed him whatever it is available. Many times he throws it or won’t touxh it. He’ll go to bed without any dinner. I’m not doing separate meals for a child unless it’s truly something that isn’t kid appropriate (sushi, sweetgreen etc).

Sometimes you can't. That's why it's so rude of other parents to judge. I have one kid, 4, who will eat anything. We went to friends' over the weekend and happily are biryani and chicken tikka and dal. My 9 yo has anxiety and one way it manifests is in food avoidance. She is so picky she won't even eat regular kid food like chicken nuggets or Mac and cheese. She hates restaurants and has her "safe" foodabat home.!i would give anything for her to not have that anxiety that limits her but it's not defiance or "pickiness," it's a self defense mechanisms that allows her to exert control and tame her anxiety. No amount of me forcing new foods has ever or will ever help. I offer and offer and occasionally she tries but I have forced it in the past and she had a panic attack and then vomited. Is this typical? No and I don't claim it is. But it's why people like OP suck when they just make blanket judgments that we are lazy parents with annoying kids who are doing this to other people to be pains in the ass.

I wonder how many 9yos in Africa suffer from anxiety and avoid food as a self-defense mechanism.

You realize Africa is not a monolith of poverty and famine right? Moron.

You're clearly the moron. I never said it's a monolith of poverty and famine. But Africa as a whole has really bad poverty and famine. That means that children there aren't going to be picky or have 'sensory issues'. I used to be a picky eater myself but I was never coddled. Grown-ups would tell me "Just eat it. It's not poison"...just because someone doesn't like something, it doesn't mean that it isn't good for them e.g. veggies, fruits, seafood. So instead of catering to a child's taste (who doesn't like McDonald's fries?), explain to them about nutrition and balance in diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do you guys suggest doing to prevent picky eaters?

My son is 1.5 and very picky already. I do tough love and just feed him whatever it is available. Many times he throws it or won’t touxh it. He’ll go to bed without any dinner. I’m not doing separate meals for a child unless it’s truly something that isn’t kid appropriate (sushi, sweetgreen etc).

Sometimes you can't. That's why it's so rude of other parents to judge. I have one kid, 4, who will eat anything. We went to friends' over the weekend and happily are biryani and chicken tikka and dal. My 9 yo has anxiety and one way it manifests is in food avoidance. She is so picky she won't even eat regular kid food like chicken nuggets or Mac and cheese. She hates restaurants and has her "safe" foodabat home.!i would give anything for her to not have that anxiety that limits her but it's not defiance or "pickiness," it's a self defense mechanisms that allows her to exert control and tame her anxiety. No amount of me forcing new foods has ever or will ever help. I offer and offer and occasionally she tries but I have forced it in the past and she had a panic attack and then vomited. Is this typical? No and I don't claim it is. But it's why people like OP suck when they just make blanket judgments that we are lazy parents with annoying kids who are doing this to other people to be pains in the ass.

I wonder how many 9yos in Africa suffer from anxiety and avoid food as a self-defense mechanism.

You realize Africa is not a monolith of poverty and famine right? Moron.

You're clearly the moron. I never said it's a monolith of poverty and famine. But Africa as a whole has really bad poverty and famine. That means that children there aren't going to be picky or have 'sensory issues'. I used to be a picky eater myself but I was never coddled. Grown-ups would tell me "Just eat it. It's not poison"...just because someone doesn't like something, it doesn't mean that it isn't good for them e.g. veggies, fruits, seafood. So instead of catering to a child's taste (who doesn't like McDonald's fries?), explain to them about nutrition and balance in diet.

Sure Jan. She's been diagnosed with anxiety by the doctors at Children's but I will copy this comment and take it to our next appointment so we can all learn from you, who knows best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok Sweetgreen lady. I feel bad for you now, I really do. It’s obvious you are reasonable and trying your best. I think a 1.5 year old is a different story altogether and the attitude I started this post with was really about older kids.

My advice to you about your toddler: make sure he is hungry before you sit down for meals (no snacking before meals), never ever give him processed or packaged junk food for snack (no goldfish, no wheat thins, no cookies, no sweet cereal, no yogurt sticks, no fruit leather) and just keep feeding him the healthy foods he likes (cheese, fish) until he gets tired of them. If the only options available for kids are fresh and unprocessed then that is what they will get used to eating. (Obviously I am not including kids with eating disorders or anxiety, those are illnesses that are very different from the run-of-the mill picky American.)

Thank you for the advice. I do agree he’s holding out for junk food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Wow, this thread really got out of control. I was just annoyed/bemused/venting about rude kids and now there’s an entitled mom brigade accusing me of having control issues and causing anorexia and enforcing clean-plate policies. Jeez. Talk about issues.

Get over it. They can say "no thank you" and you say "this is all I have" if they ask for something else. I have a child who is very adventurous eater and another that is just a picky eater. No big deal unless you make it one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Wow, this thread really got out of control. I was just annoyed/bemused/venting about rude kids and now there’s an entitled mom brigade accusing me of having control issues and causing anorexia and enforcing clean-plate policies. Jeez. Talk about issues.

Get over it. They can say "no thank you" and you say "this is all I have" if they ask for something else. I have a child who is very adventurous eater and another that is just a picky eater. No big deal unless you make it one.

+1 OP sounds super whiny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Wow, this thread really got out of control. I was just annoyed/bemused/venting about rude kids and now there’s an entitled mom brigade accusing me of having control issues and causing anorexia and enforcing clean-plate policies. Jeez. Talk about issues.

Get over it. They can say "no thank you" and you say "this is all I have" if they ask for something else. I have a child who is very adventurous eater and another that is just a picky eater. No big deal unless you make it one.

+1 OP sounds super whiny!

+100.

[Anonymous]

This whole post (which I haven’t read much of) makes me laugh. My DH and his family are from “Europe” (which I assume is an EU country).

He has been here for about 20 years.

Even so:

It took me months while we were living together, before he would touch a piece broccoli.

When I brought a squash dish to his parents Thanksgiving, it was a weird dish that everyone politely ate.

When they come visit, my normally varied menu is basically meat/ potatoes / very basic salad. Salad must be dressed specifically. Cabbage may be offered.

When we travel to “home country” (again, EU), the menu is not all that varied. I could get more at McDonalds here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I was feeling bad about my toddlers eating only half a thai veggie dumpling, a bit of chicken satay, and picking the pineapple out of the pineapple rice until this post. It is definitely not a European v. American thing--I lived as a child in both the US and Italy. Honestly it is the quality of food and spices used/kids are exposed to. It also is partially the parents palates. If you don't expose them enough when they are small, it wont happen until they are in their 20s

Ah, the parent of a toddler--my kid ate EVERYTHING when she was a toddler--Indian, Thai, spicy food--if you served it, she'd eat it. She was exposed to all sorts of cuisines and flavors, and happily ate them all. And *then* she got picky (not as picky as some kids, but she started refusing foods she had been eating for years, refusing to try new foods, etc.). Some of it is developmental. Some of it is exposure. Some of it is personality. But it's not always something that parents can control. We continue to offer a variety of foods, and we work on being polite when refusing a food, but there's only so much you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole post (which I haven’t read much of) makes me laugh. My DH and his family are from “Europe” (which I assume is an EU country).

He has been here for about 20 years.

Even so:

It took me months while we were living together, before he would touch a piece broccoli.

When I brought a squash dish to his parents Thanksgiving, it was a weird dish that everyone politely ate.

When they come visit, my normally varied menu is basically meat/ potatoes / very basic salad. Salad must be dressed specifically. Cabbage may be offered.

When we travel to “home country” (again, EU), the menu is not all that varied. I could get more at McDonalds here.

At least they aren't eating out of a box or subsisting on fast food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole post (which I haven’t read much of) makes me laugh. My DH and his family are from “Europe” (which I assume is an EU country).

He has been here for about 20 years.

Even so:

It took me months while we were living together, before he would touch a piece broccoli.

When I brought a squash dish to his parents Thanksgiving, it was a weird dish that everyone politely ate.

When they come visit, my normally varied menu is basically meat/ potatoes / very basic salad. Salad must be dressed specifically. Cabbage may be offered.

When we travel to “home country” (again, EU), the menu is not all that varied. I could get more at McDonalds here.

Yes, this idea that Europeans aren't picky is laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I was feeling bad about my toddlers eating only half a thai veggie dumpling, a bit of chicken satay, and picking the pineapple out of the pineapple rice until this post. It is definitely not a European v. American thing--I lived as a child in both the US and Italy. Honestly it is the quality of food and spices used/kids are exposed to. It also is partially the parents palates. If you don't expose them enough when they are small, it wont happen until they are in their 20s

Ah, the parent of a toddler--my kid ate EVERYTHING when she was a toddler--Indian, Thai, spicy food--if you served it, she'd eat it. She was exposed to all sorts of cuisines and flavors, and happily ate them all. And *then* she got picky (not as picky as some kids, but she started refusing foods she had been eating for years, refusing to try new foods, etc.). Some of it is developmental. Some of it is exposure. Some of it is personality. But it's not always something that parents can control. We continue to offer a variety of foods, and we work on being polite when refusing a food, but there's only so much you can do.

+1 Don't pat yourself on the back too much, Mom. I did the same thing you describe with all of my kids, and one of them just throws up food he doesn't like. Instead of thinking your way is so great, consider that a bit of luck is involved and don't judge quite so much!