Slightly Irritating Things Your In-Laws Do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

This makes you sound a lot worse than your MIL.

+1 I was trying to figure out wha the issue was with this one... grandma buys kids outfits and presents- oh, the horror!

[Anonymous]

She's only ever given my kids cheap clothes. Suddenly, her daughter is pregnant and she's trying to buy them everything form high end strollers to cribs, etc.

They don't need the money. We are doing okay too. I'm more annoyed because I feel like my kids are now tossed aside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch at the same time every single day. When visiting for a week I get really tired of a turkey sandwich for lunch every. day. at noon. But I'm always hungry so I eat it since all I had for breakfast was an english muffin with jam.

Bring bagels, and a quiche, and a pizza or whatever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

This makes you sound a lot worse than your MIL.

Agree. She sounds lonely and like shopping for her grandkids gives her something to do.

Do the math on how much stuff that is. I feel for the PP here--in large part because the fact that she probably is lonely and needs something to do is at play here. Way better if MIL could find something more useful to do.

Useful according to who? Leave MIL alone. Shopping clearly keeps her happy. Sorry you don't deem that useful enough.

I'm the PP. I have read and occasionally contributed to the many, many threads pitting younger-generation DILs who don't particularly value the acquisition of stuff and whose kids have plenty already vs. the older-generation MILs who enjoy giving gifts and showing love by the bequeathing of stuff. It's intractable. I see both sides. But, this is a thread about slightly irritating things your ILs do and it is slightly (or perhaps VERY) irritating that she continues to inundate us with stuff that we don't want or need, after DH has asked her to tone it down, after I have asked her to tone it down, and after the older kids have very clearly showed that they are spoiled by her largesse. This is not a question of any of this being useful. It is not useful. I wind up rolling the less-recent gifts off to Goodwill (clothes), our elementary (books), and the trash (toys) after a couple weeks when they're not being used.

I'm the first pp who said it makes the DIL look bad. I actually can see how it would be irritating to get too much stuff. But why can't the DIL still instruct her kid to say thank you and not to ask about the present first? Why can't DIL see through the aggravation to realize that it is out of love (even if it's annoying)?

[Anonymous]

MIL is over and decides she's thirsty. Pours a glass of water, takes two sips, leaves on the counter. Wants tea. Makes tea, takes two sips, leaves up cup on the counter. Decides she wants more water. Gets new glass, pours more water, takes a few sips, leaves in living room. Repeat over and over. Dirty glasses and cups everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL is over and decides she's thirsty. Pours a glass of water, takes two sips, leaves on the counter. Wants tea. Makes tea, takes two sips, leaves up cup on the counter. Decides she wants more water. Gets new glass, pours more water, takes a few sips, leaves in living room. Repeat over and over. Dirty glasses and cups everywhere.

My MIL is wasteful also. But it’s ironic because she will rant about “the environment”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's only ever given my kids cheap clothes. Suddenly, her daughter is pregnant and she's trying to buy them everything form high end strollers to cribs, etc.

They don't need the money. We are doing okay too. I'm more annoyed because I feel like my kids are now tossed aside.

Just curious if early on she bought stuff that you didn’t use because it wasn’t your taste? My SIL did this. She had the first grandchild and HATED my mom’s taste, and never used anything. My mom got the hint and stopped spending the money and bought less expensive things that she didn’t mind going unused (she didn’t overshot btw - were talking bday/Xmas presents). When my other SIL and my sister had kids, she was much more generous because they (at least acted) appreciative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ My MIL also created a nursery in her house that was better outfitted Thant he baby's space at our home. Don't worry, in the end junk like this doesn't matter to the kids.

Thanks. I'm just mortified (as the mom) she had the gall to ask people for all this stuff. I'm sure some of the guests (yeah, she invited over 100 people) assume I was the greedy one, when I wasn't even invited and had zero say in it.

I would imagine the guests would clue in to the weirdness coming from your MIL if you weren't even there... it would be strange to not say, "oh, I want to congratulate the mom-to-be!" or at least for some people to ask where you were. what i'd really be worried about is that they would assume you hate your MIL or are a total bitch because you didn't even bother going... esp because it would seem so weird you weren't there I might not even ask why as a guest myself but just assume something was terribly wrong in your relationship with your MIL!

[Anonymous]

My MIL reads Facebook aloud -- particularly inflammatory posts from her conservative friends- and asks me what I think. Or reads dumb memes and then describes the picture that goes with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Says things like "mommy needs to go away so I can be alone with my baby" or "your mommy is keeping me from my baby" or "grammy was a teacher so she knows best" to my child

Your MIL and mine should get together, they sound like twins (even down to the teacher part!)

[Anonymous]

Feed my kids crappy junk.
Too nice / tries to do things I could for for myself- making me feel like I'm a useless adult.
Buy my kids ugly clothes/ shoes. I'm tempted to return some limegreen ninja turtle shoes and hope my kids forget they existed.

I know these are minor issues that I keep to myself. they are long distance, we see them only during holidays and summer visits.

[Anonymous]

Mine bought my daughter a 4T dress when she was about 18 months. She won't stop nagging me about when my tiny petite kid will fit into it.

[Anonymous]

totally emphasizes how they look ALL THE TIME and speaks to my kids in the most ingratiating "baby" voice even though they are way past that age. I keep thinking one of them will ask me whats wrong with her but it has't happened yet

[Anonymous]

Constantly “tending to” and observing me. No, I don’t want you to warm this muffin in the microwave for me. Yes, I know there’s jam—I just don’t happen to want anything but butter on my table ast this morning. Yes, I know there’s coffee; no, I don’t want you to pour me any.

And at 5 o’clock, it’s constant drinks pushing. Like maybe if you convince me to have a glass of wine, no one will notice you’re already on your third...

[Anonymous]

My FIL retired from a major airline. He flies for free, and doesn't preplan. That means we get random calls and texts asking us to pick him up at the airport. I will say he has gotten better since we live in the DC area. He's now expected to make it to our metro stop on his own.