Washington Post Article - Disability

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would really be interested in knowing how many posters on this thread have an actual disability, or a child or partner with one. I have one that is permanent, it qualifies me for things like medical marijuana, a permanent handicap parking permit, sometimes I am in a wheelchair, etc. I have no problem with the article (so whoever the poster is that says all handicap people are mad about it, who are you?). I am very disappointed with the family in the article and am stunned that they have been able to get disability for the reasons listed in the article. Disability is very hard to get approved. Who is approving these people????

What upset me the most is the treatment of Franny, the young mother with mosaic downs. While I don't doubt her family loves her, from what is described it seems that no one, not her family, her peers, her teachers, etc., supported or encouraged her to take steps to live an independent life. It says she had a dream of going to college, having downs (esp mosaic) doesn't automatically mean you can't get a higher education. What were her ambitions? It says she loves to sing, what else does she like to do? Does anyone ask? Does anyone care? It's perfectly acceptable to allow her to have children at such a young age, thereby making it even more difficult to get an education or life skills or a job (just ask any teenage mom, downs or not). There are programs to teach her life skills (how to manage money, how to make food, how to grocery shop, how to take the bus, etc.) and how to learn a trade, and how to live her own independent life (whether in her own apartment or a group home). Why wasn't she in any! Doesn't she deserve to be allowed to try, she probably is capable! Her mother says she has the mental capacity of a 13 year old, according to who, her mom (who loves to diagnose everyone with autism?! 99.9% of handicap people want what everyone else wants, because we just like everyone else: to be happy, to feel worthy, to be loved, to be independent. Who was fighting for Franny?

I have a son who is mod-severe autism and will live at home/need assistance for the rest of his life, and I found this article to be depressing and just all around frustrating. On the one hand, I get the desperation and could not imagine living in such a economically and culturally depressed area where you literally have no options for self advancement, but actively trying to get her grandsons diagnosed with a condition that they probably don't even have is just beyond the pale. Every single time Grandma asserted that a behavior was "autism", I just wanted to scream in frustration.

And if these boys are diagnosed, do they realize all of the responsibility that comes with an autism diagnoses? The therapies, the commitment to reinforcing those therapies in the home, the parent meetings, the IEPs, etc, etc. You can't just give a kid with autism a pill and cash those checks, it is a HUGE lifestyle change and adjustment, and it's hard on many, many families.

I worry about Franny as well, because even with four kids, she is still quite young and has her entire life ahead of her--not to mention, maybe 15-20 years of fertility ahead of her. It is not too late for her to get help, turn her life around, and end this cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looks like Franny is now 32 and on meds for bipolar and pain. So she's got more than mosaic DS going on.

Neither none nor all of which means her life is over. People just cast disabled people aside, and don't allow them to try or preserve. It makes me so angry when disabled people are told there are too many limitations , or we don't want her to be disappointed. Plenty of people with bipolar and pain meds lead productive and rewarding lives. granny is just treated like a maid "because that's all she can do". How would anyone really know? Her disability could help pay for great programs, therapies, an apartment.... but that would mean her mother couldn't get her hands on it. Her mom thought it was ok for Franny to have kids, but she can't go to college? F that.

I agree with you and I think it's a shame that Franny wasn't encouraged to do more with her life. But we don't know how much the school tried to help and we don't know if Franny decided to do her own thing - or what exactly happened. People with DS have their own personalities, too. She may have wanted to fall in love, get married and have kids but the romance part of it didn't work out.

We don't know what happened. Does the article say when Franny became disabled? I believe it says that her mom became disabled due to a work injury after Franny was already disabled. And then the twins were initially receiving disability as babies because they were born prematurely. These folks have had some obstacles to overcome even if they could have done things differently.

[Anonymous]

If Franny's mom was trying to work while Franny was at home having bipolar episodes and getting pregnant....that would have been very hard on all concerned. The grandma may have felt completely overwhelmed and when the work injury happened...she decided to heck with even trying to work.

It is always easier from the outside looking in. We don't have to live it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the kids. The parents sound like losers who mooch the system that was intended to help those in real need.

One of the parents has Down syndrome. If people with Down syndrome don't meet the criteria of people with disabilities, for whom the system was intended, I'm not sure who does.

Ok where is the other parent? There is NO MENTIION of a father in any of this. These kids did not just pop out of thin air.

It's clear to me the father(s) only wanted to get off. They definitely weren't interested in having a relationship nor dealing with the mother's family.

Why aren't biological fathers held more accountable? Shouldn't they be made to pay all the bills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the kids. The parents sound like losers who mooch the system that was intended to help those in real need.

One of the parents has Down syndrome. If people with Down syndrome don't meet the criteria of people with disabilities, for whom the system was intended, I'm not sure who does.

Ok where is the other parent? There is NO MENTIION of a father in any of this. These kids did not just pop out of thin air.

It's clear to me the father(s) only wanted to get off. They definitely weren't interested in having a relationship nor dealing with the mother's family.

Why aren't biological fathers held more accountable? Shouldn't they be made to pay all the bills?

Where is Franny's dad for that matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the kids. The parents sound like losers who mooch the system that was intended to help those in real need.

One of the parents has Down syndrome. If people with Down syndrome don't meet the criteria of people with disabilities, for whom the system was intended, I'm not sure who does.

Ok where is the other parent? There is NO MENTIION of a father in any of this. These kids did not just pop out of thin air.

It's clear to me the father(s) only wanted to get off. They definitely weren't interested in having a relationship nor dealing with the mother's family.

Why aren't biological fathers held more accountable? Shouldn't they be made to pay all the bills?

Where is Franny's dad for that matter?

The article doesn't specifically mention Franny's dad but does say her mom is going thru her fourth divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think taking that cell phone bill would improve their budget substantially - isn't there a free cell phone govt program?

Or maybe a family plan where you get several lines for a much better price?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If Franny's mom was trying to work while Franny was at home having bipolar episodes and getting pregnant....that would have been very hard on all concerned. The grandma may have felt completely overwhelmed and when the work injury happened...she decided to heck with even trying to work.

It is always easier from the outside looking in. We don't have to live it.

Nice try. But no. Not from a disabiity point of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If Franny's mom was trying to work while Franny was at home having bipolar episodes and getting pregnant....that would have been very hard on all concerned. The grandma may have felt completely overwhelmed and when the work injury happened...she decided to heck with even trying to work.

It is always easier from the outside looking in. We don't have to live it.

Nice try. But no. Not from a disabiity point of view.

These folks seem to have a lot of different issues. I'm sure that life is a struggle for them in more ways than one. The disappearing dads of Franny and the children aren't mentioned too much in the article. There is a lot going on there....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If Franny's mom was trying to work while Franny was at home having bipolar episodes and getting pregnant....that would have been very hard on all concerned. The grandma may have felt completely overwhelmed and when the work injury happened...she decided to heck with even trying to work.

It is always easier from the outside looking in. We don't have to live it.

Nice try. But no. Not from a disabiity point of view.

These folks seem to have a lot of different issues. I'm sure that life is a struggle for them in more ways than one. The disappearing dads of Franny and the children aren't mentioned too much in the article. There is a lot going on there....

I'm sure there is, by as an actual disabled person myself, who is well versed in what disability benefits are for, they are not to pay for rent or trips to McDonald's or puppy food. There are SNAP benefits, low income housing benefits, and ther social services (aka welfare) programs for the lower income and distressed populations. But disability benefits are not a substitute for those, unless you are truly physically unable to work. Not that you don't want to work the kind of job you could work or that you chose to live in a sparsely populated place with no jobs. That is where unemployment kicks in. Not disability. They are not equal. They are Not interchangeable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the kids. The parents sound like losers who mooch the system that was intended to help those in real need.

One of the parents has Down syndrome. If people with Down syndrome don't meet the criteria of people with disabilities, for whom the system was intended, I'm not sure who does.

Ok where is the other parent? There is NO MENTIION of a father in any of this. These kids did not just pop out of thin air.

It's clear to me the father(s) only wanted to get off. They definitely weren't interested in having a relationship nor dealing with the mother's family.

Why aren't biological fathers held more accountable? Shouldn't they be made to pay all the bills?

They should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If Franny's mom was trying to work while Franny was at home having bipolar episodes and getting pregnant....that would have been very hard on all concerned. The grandma may have felt completely overwhelmed and when the work injury happened...she decided to heck with even trying to work.

It is always easier from the outside looking in. We don't have to live it.

Nice try. But no. Not from a disabiity point of view.

These folks seem to have a lot of different issues. I'm sure that life is a struggle for them in more ways than one. The disappearing dads of Franny and the children aren't mentioned too much in the article. There is a lot going on there....

I'm sure there is, by as an actual disabled person myself, who is well versed in what disability benefits are for, they are not to pay for rent or trips to McDonald's or puppy food. There are SNAP benefits, low income housing benefits, and ther social services (aka welfare) programs for the lower income and distressed populations. But disability benefits are not a substitute for those, unless you are truly physically unable to work. Not that you don't want to work the kind of job you could work or that you chose to live in a sparsely populated place with no jobs. That is where unemployment kicks in. Not disability. They are not equal. They are Not interchangeable.

Somehow Franny and her mom have been receiving disability benefits. I would imagine that they both have had a physician state that they are physically unable to work. I don't know if they receive other government benefits as well. Not sure what the rules are for that.

[Anonymous]

Her mom is also somehow able to get more and more opioids at her pain clinic even though she admits she's taking more than prescribed....wonder how that will turn out? It's a huge train wreck, you can't look away. Article also alludes to some serious doctor shopping. Where there's a will there's a way. Doesn't make it right. And you know it. And hose kids are going to grow up without a chance, and poor Franny is now serving a life sentence of being told she's never smart enough for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her mom is also somehow able to get more and more opioids at her pain clinic even though she admits she's taking more than prescribed....wonder how that will turn out? It's a huge train wreck, you can't look away. Article also alludes to some serious doctor shopping. Where there's a will there's a way. Doesn't make it right. And you know it. And hose kids are going to grow up without a chance, and poor Franny is now serving a life sentence of being told she's never smart enough for anything.

Franny is also taking pain meds.

[Anonymous]

Reread the article and the twins are the result of a relationship that Franny had with a man who was also on disability.