Washington Post Article - Disability

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing that baffles me in this thread is a repeated complaint that the woman "allowed" her developmentally disabled daughter to get pregnant.

Are we forgetting how much we as a society "allow" access to family planning be cut off to large swaths of the population - paricularly the poor?

I can't get over the way the focus has been on critiquing the life choices of people with very few options, say nothing of decision-making which is a learned skill they haven't been taught. Then that dearth of very basic life skills are passed down to the next generation, who likely face trauma-filled childhoods followed by adulthods dependent on public assistance and very likely substance abuse.

At what point do we stop moralizing about bad decisions and start looking at policy that can break this cycle? For the most part, our culture and politics are to blame. Provide free and ample access to birth control. Teach life skills in every school curriculum. Provide pre- and post-natal care as a minimum-level requirement for pregnant women.

We're just creating zombies.

Just because something isn't "free" doesn't mean it's being "denied." Condoms are readily available at every convenience store, grocery store, gas station, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that baffles me in this thread is a repeated complaint that the woman "allowed" her developmentally disabled daughter to get pregnant.

Are we forgetting how much we as a society "allow" access to family planning be cut off to large swaths of the population - paricularly the poor?

I can't get over the way the focus has been on critiquing the life choices of people with very few options, say nothing of decision-making which is a learned skill they haven't been taught. Then that dearth of very basic life skills are passed down to the next generation, who likely face trauma-filled childhoods followed by adulthods dependent on public assistance and very likely substance abuse.

At what point do we stop moralizing about bad decisions and start looking at policy that can break this cycle? For the most part, our culture and politics are to blame. Provide free and ample access to birth control. Teach life skills in every school curriculum. Provide pre- and post-natal care as a minimum-level requirement for pregnant women.

We're just creating zombies.

Just because something isn't "free" doesn't mean it's being "denied." Condoms are readily available at every convenience store, grocery store, gas station, etc.

Cheapest box of condoms cost $4. You've got $10 until the end of next week when you owe 30x that for rent.

I'm just saying. What chance does a kid have when they're born into that? How much is it costing in public spending?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that baffles me in this thread is a repeated complaint that the woman "allowed" her developmentally disabled daughter to get pregnant.

Are we forgetting how much we as a society "allow" access to family planning be cut off to large swaths of the population - paricularly the poor?

I can't get over the way the focus has been on critiquing the life choices of people with very few options, say nothing of decision-making which is a learned skill they haven't been taught. Then that dearth of very basic life skills are passed down to the next generation, who likely face trauma-filled childhoods followed by adulthods dependent on public assistance and very likely substance abuse.

At what point do we stop moralizing about bad decisions and start looking at policy that can break this cycle? For the most part, our culture and politics are to blame. Provide free and ample access to birth control. Teach life skills in every school curriculum. Provide pre- and post-natal care as a minimum-level requirement for pregnant women.

We're just creating zombies.

Just because something isn't "free" doesn't mean it's

being "denied." Condoms are readily available at every convenience store, grocery store, gas station, etc.

Cheapest box of condoms cost $4. You've got $10 until the end of next week when you owe 30x that for rent.

I'm just saying. What chance does a kid have when they're born into that? How much is it costing in public spending?

Are you kidding? This lady is preparing to pump out her disabled daughter again right now I'm sure to collect some more funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same woman? The Washington Post profiled a child sex offender? And didn't realize it at all?

http://www.homefacts.com/offender-detail/MO826226/Kathy-Francine-Strait.html

I have to believe the Post knew this -- but I guess it wasn't relevant to their story.

I'm sure didn't know, didn't care. Too much trouble to do a basic search.
Or, if he did care that would mean the end of the story .
One of those. Either way I'm not impressed with his ethics and I'll bet more of that will show in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What baffles me is that keeping your legs closed is that difficult. Stop blaming that the poor don't have access to birth control, etc.

Unless a woman is raped, she decided to sleep with Tom the bum and get pregnant. Sex = baby and No sex = no baby

This. I didn't have sex until I was married at the age of 31. I couldn't have emotionally dealt with a baby before that. It's NOT that difficult, but it does require some sacrifice, which most aren't willing to make.

I would never recommend that path to my own daughter. 31? You might only have 3-5 more years of fertility left.
Also, that's a great way to end up with a poor choice of a partner and a messy divorce with children involved. Ever heard of condoms?
They are actually pretty effective if people aren't poking holes in them or taking them off for fun & If you're in a long term relationship those things are not likely.
There are things such as IUD's and BC patches as well for those family members. But that's against people religion ( ) and against others' pocketbook ( ) so...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What baffles me is that keeping your legs closed is that difficult. Stop blaming that the poor don't have access to birth control, etc.

Unless a woman is raped, she decided to sleep with Tom the bum and get pregnant. Sex = baby and No sex = no baby

This. I didn't have sex until I was married at the age of 31. I couldn't have emotionally dealt with a baby before that. It's NOT that difficult, but it does require some sacrifice, which most aren't willing to make.

I would never recommend that path to my own daughter. 31? You might only have 3-5 more years of fertility left.
Also, that's a great way to end up with a poor choice of a partner and a messy divorce with children involved. Ever heard of condoms?
They are actually pretty effective if people aren't poking holes in them or taking them off for fun & If you're in a long term relationship those things are not likely.
There are things such as IUD's and BC patches as well for those family members. But that's against people religion ( ) and against others' pocketbook ( ) so...

Well, we're pretty dang happy after 17 years and two kids.

I feel sorry for your daughter - not because her mother encourages premarital sex necessarily, but because you can't (or won't) see others' choices as valid. That kind of narrow-mindedness is pretty sad. And honestly, very surprising these days!

[Anonymous]

Not having sex until you are 31 and married is a really extreme viewpoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not having sex until you are 31 and married is a really extreme viewpoint.

Unless it's 1917

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not having sex until you are 31 and married is a really extreme viewpoint.

Not really. It's a pretty common Christian viewpoint, albeit one most think is too difficult to follow. It does save a lot of heartache, though.

And I'm Episcopalian and a DC native, so it's not even that I'm a sheltered, uneducated girl from Podunk, MS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not having sex until you are 31 and married is a really extreme viewpoint.

Not really. It's a pretty common Christian viewpoint, albeit one most think is too difficult to follow. It does save a lot of heartache, though.

And I'm Episcopalian and a DC native, so it's not even that I'm a sheltered, uneducated girl from Podunk, MS.

And, as this story has shown, people in podunk are smashing.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone is saying that actual disabled people should be cut off. People who are lazy should be cut off though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not having sex until you are 31 and married is a really extreme viewpoint.

Not really. It's a pretty common Christian viewpoint, albeit one most think is too difficult to follow. It does save a lot of heartache, though.

And I'm Episcopalian and a DC native, so it's not even that I'm a sheltered, uneducated girl from Podunk, MS.

Not really. Not if people get married and then discover they are sexually incompatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would really be interested in knowing how many posters on this thread have an actual disability, or a child or partner with one. I have one that is permanent, it qualifies me for things like medical marijuana, a permanent handicap parking permit, sometimes I am in a wheelchair, etc. I have no problem with the article (so whoever the poster is that says all handicap people are mad about it, who are you?). I am very disappointed with the family in the article and am stunned that they have been able to get disability for the reasons listed in the article. Disability is very hard to get approved. Who is approving these people????

What upset me the most is the treatment of Franny, the young mother with mosaic downs. While I don't doubt her family loves her, from what is described it seems that no one, not her family, her peers, her teachers, etc., supported or encouraged her to take steps to live an independent life. It says she had a dream of going to college, having downs (esp mosaic) doesn't automatically mean you can't get a higher education. What were her ambitions? It says she loves to sing, what else does she like to do? Does anyone ask? Does anyone care? It's perfectly acceptable to allow her to have children at such a young age, thereby making it even more difficult to get an education or life skills or a job (just ask any teenage mom, downs or not). There are programs to teach her life skills (how to manage money, how to make food, how to grocery shop, how to take the bus, etc.) and how to learn a trade, and how to live her own independent life (whether in her own apartment or a group home). Why wasn't she in any! Doesn't she deserve to be allowed to try, she probably is capable! Her mother says she has the mental capacity of a 13 year old, according to who, her mom (who loves to diagnose everyone with autism?! 99.9% of handicap people want what everyone else wants, because we just like everyone else: to be happy, to feel worthy, to be loved, to be independent. Who was fighting for Franny?

I have a son who is mod-severe autism and will live at home/need assistance for the rest of his life, and I found this article to be depressing and just all around frustrating. On the one hand, I get the desperation and could not imagine living in such a economically and culturally depressed area where you literally have no options for self advancement, but actively trying to get her grandsons diagnosed with a condition that they probably don't even have is just beyond the pale. Every single time Grandma asserted that a behavior was "autism", I just wanted to scream in frustration.

And if these boys are diagnosed, do they realize all of the responsibility that comes with an autism diagnoses? The therapies, the commitment to reinforcing those therapies in the home, the parent meetings, the IEPs, etc, etc. You can't just give a kid with autism a pill and cash those checks, it is a HUGE lifestyle change and adjustment, and it's hard on many, many families.

I worry about Franny as well, because even with four kids, she is still quite young and has her entire life ahead of her--not to mention, maybe 15-20 years of fertility ahead of her. It is not too late for her to get help, turn her life around, and end this cycle.

Do you actually think the grandmother or mother would provide any of that?? The adjustment, if any, would only occur at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the kids. The parents sound like losers who mooch the system that was intended to help those in real need.

One of the parents has Down syndrome. If people with Down syndrome don't meet the criteria of people with disabilities, for whom the system was intended, I'm not sure who does.

Well, but she seems to be a pretty high level DS person if she functions like a 14 year old she could probably work a menial job for money. That would actually pay more than a disability check.

The summer I was 14, I worked at the library (where the age minimum was 14), putting books back on the shelves. It wasn't that mentally taxing.

Also, the year I worked at the government, we had a mentally challenged woman doing mundane tasks. She lived in a halfway home, and took a shuttle to and from work. She was definitely functioning below the level of a 14-year-old - I'd estimate her mental age as around 8. She was pleasant to have around, and as long as you kept things simple (ONE task at a time), she did fine. It's a much better arrangement for her self-esteem to be working.