Troubles at GDS high school?

[Anonymous]

As painful as this year may have been for GDS, I think sometimes incidents like this can be healthy for a community in the long run because they serve as reminders about the dangers of complacency. I once had a GDS student say to me, "There are no mean kids at my school. Everyone gets along and everyone is happy." I chuckled a little to myself at the naivete, because obviously that can never be true. There is always more to be done to make a community stronger. It's not enough for kids to know they go to a school that's progressive in talking social issues or where Quaker or other religious values are taught; kids need constant reminders to look outside their comfort zone to say hello to the uncool kids or invite someone new to a party to make it less exclusive. Being an inclusive community is work -- sometimes uncomfortable work. I've seen quite a few sad kids move through these schools, and I don't think the schools ever manage to teach the popular kids why it is important to embrace their less popular (or less wealthy or even less adept) classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Cathedral parent too and I think GDS is a freak-show. The more I learn and hear and, frankly read on this forum, the stronger and denser that opinion grows.

Did you think everything written about STA/NCS on this forum has been accurate? If not (which is the assumption, as crazy stuff has been written about both Cathedral schools), then it is very odd indeed that you would take everything written on DCUM about GDS at face value.

Cathedral schools parent to whom you are referring here. Well, first of all, much of what is written about NCS and STA on DCUM is true, at least from my viewpoint. You just need to take out the obvious jealousy and vitriol.

NCS can be a viper pit and is insanely, overly the top, competitive. It chews up many of the girls who attend. I have yet to meet a parent who refuses to admit this privately. You have to be a very specific type to survive - terrifically confident and hyper intelligent and being a decent (not super great, just really competent, and definitely into it) athlete surely doesn't hurt. The girls bring much of the drama and craziness on themselves but the administration does nothing to change or improve the situation. It is not for the weak of heart or mind or constitution.

STA is largely a bastion of old school preppy waspy-ness and is currently leaning a bit too heavily toward nerdiness and over emphasis on intellectual versus atheltics. It does have weak lacrosse and football programs and does need to do a bit of recruting of more athletic boys for those sports.

Still most of the unflattering posts about the Cathedral schools (at least NCS/STA) come from outsiders (one notable exception being the old-time alum NCS alums who hate STA), not from the current families and students themselves. That is very clear.

On the other hand, GDS rarely comes off well on these boards and it is largely of their own making. Between the constant harping on "we were really the Obama's first choice" and "we send more kids to Harvard then anywhere else in the universe" the parents and students come off as sniveling, self-promoting, whiners. Add in the blatant, over-whelming and pathetic insecurity complex with regard to Sidwell, highlighted regularly by GDS folks desperation to make their school seem better than Sidwell (LOL), its a freakshow. So yes, GDS looks worse on here than any other school, even Landon which is always getting attack by outsiders.

I hope you realize that these two comments in particular most likely come from people not affiliated with the school at all. The comment may have been made once by someone connected to GDS, but now, unfortunately, the GDS threads are filled with anti-GDS trolls. You think an actual GDS family would use the phrase "team of aces"?

Yes, actually, it is clearly GDS people who get on here and insist AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN that the Obamas would have chosen GDS but for the Secret Service.

I mean, come on already, shut up. No one cares but the GDS whiners. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Cathedral parent too and I think GDS is a freak-show. The more I learn and hear and, frankly read on this forum, the stronger and denser that opinion grows.

Did you think everything written about STA/NCS on this forum has been accurate? If not (which is the assumption, as crazy stuff has been written about both Cathedral schools), then it is very odd indeed that you would take everything written on DCUM about GDS at face value.

Cathedral schools parent to whom you are referring here. Well, first of all, much of what is written about NCS and STA on DCUM is true, at least from my viewpoint. You just need to take out the obvious jealousy and vitriol.

NCS can be a viper pit and is insanely, overly the top, competitive. It chews up many of the girls who attend. I have yet to meet a parent who refuses to admit this privately. You have to be a very specific type to survive - terrifically confident and hyper intelligent and being a decent (not super great, just really competent, and definitely into it) athlete surely doesn't hurt. The girls bring much of the drama and craziness on themselves but the administration does nothing to change or improve the situation. It is not for the weak of heart or mind or constitution.

STA is largely a bastion of old school preppy waspy-ness and is currently leaning a bit too heavily toward nerdiness and over emphasis on intellectual versus atheltics. It does have weak lacrosse and football programs and does need to do a bit of recruting of more athletic boys for those sports.

Still most of the unflattering posts about the Cathedral schools (at least NCS/STA) come from outsiders (one notable exception being the old-time alum NCS alums who hate STA), not from the current families and students themselves. That is very clear.

On the other hand, GDS rarely comes off well on these boards and it is largely of their own making. Between the constant harping on "we were really the Obama's first choice" and "we send more kids to Harvard then anywhere else in the universe" the parents and students come off as sniveling, self-promoting, whiners. Add in the blatant, over-whelming and pathetic insecurity complex with regard to Sidwell, highlighted regularly by GDS folks desperation to make their school seem better than Sidwell (LOL), its a freakshow. So yes, GDS looks worse on here than any other school, even Landon which is always getting attack by outsiders.

I hope you realize that these two comments in particular most likely come from people not affiliated with the school at all. The comment may have been made once by someone connected to GDS, but now, unfortunately, the GDS threads are filled with anti-GDS trolls. You think an actual GDS family would use the phrase "team of aces"?

Yes, actually, it is clearly GDS people who get on here and insist AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN that the Obamas would have chosen GDS but for the Secret Service.

I mean, come on already, shut up. No one cares but the GDS whiners. Ugh.

NP here. I've always written off the Obama and Harvard comments as the work of trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Cathedral parent too and I think GDS is a freak-show. The more I learn and hear and, frankly read on this forum, the stronger and denser that opinion grows.

Did you think everything written about STA/NCS on this forum has been accurate? If not (which is the assumption, as crazy stuff has been written about both Cathedral schools), then it is very odd indeed that you would take everything written on DCUM about GDS at face value.

Cathedral schools parent to whom you are referring here. Well, first of all, much of what is written about NCS and STA on DCUM is true, at least from my viewpoint. You just need to take out the obvious jealousy and vitriol.

NCS can be a viper pit and is insanely, overly the top, competitive. It chews up many of the girls who attend. I have yet to meet a parent who refuses to admit this privately. You have to be a very specific type to survive - terrifically confident and hyper intelligent and being a decent (not super great, just really competent, and definitely into it) athlete surely doesn't hurt. The girls bring much of the drama and craziness on themselves but the administration does nothing to change or improve the situation. It is not for the weak of heart or mind or constitution.

STA is largely a bastion of old school preppy waspy-ness and is currently leaning a bit too heavily toward nerdiness and over emphasis on intellectual versus atheltics. It does have weak lacrosse and football programs and does need to do a bit of recruting of more athletic boys for those sports.

Still most of the unflattering posts about the Cathedral schools (at least NCS/STA) come from outsiders (one notable exception being the old-time alum NCS alums who hate STA), not from the current families and students themselves. That is very clear.

On the other hand, GDS rarely comes off well on these boards and it is largely of their own making. Between the constant harping on "we were really the Obama's first choice" and "we send more kids to Harvard then anywhere else in the universe" the parents and students come off as sniveling, self-promoting, whiners. Add in the blatant, over-whelming and pathetic insecurity complex with regard to Sidwell, highlighted regularly by GDS folks desperation to make their school seem better than Sidwell (LOL), its a freakshow. So yes, GDS looks worse on here than any other school, even Landon which is always getting attack by outsiders.

Cathedral parent to whom you responded:

My daughter is in the upper school at NCS. It is not a viper pit unless the girl lets it get to her. My DD doesn't care about competition, nor is she hyper intelligent or terrifically confident. She is surviving just fine. She has many friends like her, so I think your characterization of the school is overblown. Do we parents worry? Sure - but so far as I can tell, no one thinks as ill of the school as the alleged parents who post such vitriol about it on here - vitriol which you happily repeat, I note. As for the administration, we have friends whose DD suffered terrible anxiety and stress, and they report that the school has not only been supportive but accommodating. Again, I think the opinions expressed on here are not quite in line with reality.

As for the stuff about the Obamas and Harvard, those are posted - pretty clearly - by anti-GDS posters, because they drop those two statements into every.GDS.thread as standalone posts - and then watch the fireworks.

Oh, and if you are actually a Cathedral parent, you know that NCS/STA are at least as competitive about Sidwell as anyone at GDS. It is the only private school in the area that my DD and her friends actively denigrate. Seems insecure to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As painful as this year may have been for GDS, I think sometimes incidents like this can be healthy for a community in the long run because they serve as reminders about the dangers of complacency. I once had a GDS student say to me, "There are no mean kids at my school. Everyone gets along and everyone is happy." I chuckled a little to myself at the naivete, because obviously that can never be true. There is always more to be done to make a community stronger. It's not enough for kids to know they go to a school that's progressive in talking social issues or where Quaker or other religious values are taught; kids need constant reminders to look outside their comfort zone to say hello to the uncool kids or invite someone new to a party to make it less exclusive. Being an inclusive community is work -- sometimes uncomfortable work. I've seen quite a few sad kids move through these schools, and I don't think the schools ever manage to teach the popular kids why it is important to embrace their less popular (or less wealthy or even less adept) classmates.

I agree that it could be healthy if handled properly, but it looks like the official response will be to close ranks and try to isolate critics and control parent interactions. At least that's what's happening now. Which makes the previously-offered advice that "if you want to know what's up, just ask the school and they'll tell you" either very naive or very cynical. In the end, it seems that Development will trump Diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a parent at another schoool, and I'd say the disciplinary process at our kids' school and probably at many other independent schools should also be scrutinized. Our son, who is white, was a witness to an incident (not involving any racial or sexual dimension) that resulted in a disciplinary action against another student. An administrator met with our son to "persuade" him to hand over his cell phone to look at texts. Our son was not sure what to do, felt threatened by the administrator, and asked if he could talk this over with us. He wasn't allowed to do so and ended up allowing the administrator to see the texts. He feels terrible about this and the outcome for the other student.

That's awful, bullying a student like that. I hope you spoke to the administrator about privacy, your child's personal property, etc.

Sounds like a partial story to me. Certainly possible to have very serious conduct (cyberbullying or drug sales or cheating) that involves texting and doesn't "involv[e] racial or sexual dimensions." Without knowing what conduct the school was investigating, I have no idea whether the school's response in persuading the student to show texts (more partial facts -- one can infer that he had the phone in school and was perhaps texting in school, and also was not forthright in telling what he knew about the situation) was in any way disproportionate. I suspect it was not.

It doesn't really matter what the offense was. If it's sexting or drug sales, they are obligated to call the police. Whether it's serious or not, they are on thin ice demanding a kid's private cellphone, and could actually taint s criminal investigation. With all of the lawyer parents at the school, how do they not know this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a parent at another schoool, and I'd say the disciplinary process at our kids' school and probably at many other independent schools should also be scrutinized. Our son, who is white, was a witness to an incident (not involving any racial or sexual dimension) that resulted in a disciplinary action against another student. An administrator met with our son to "persuade" him to hand over his cell phone to look at texts. Our son was not sure what to do, felt threatened by the administrator, and asked if he could talk this over with us. He wasn't allowed to do so and ended up allowing the administrator to see the texts. He feels terrible about this and the outcome for the other student.

That's awful, bullying a student like that. I hope you spoke to the administrator about privacy, your child's personal property, etc.

Sounds like a partial story to me. Certainly possible to have very serious conduct (cyberbullying or drug sales or cheating) that involves texting and doesn't "involv[e] racial or sexual dimensions." Without knowing what conduct the school was investigating, I have no idea whether the school's response in persuading the student to show texts (more partial facts -- one can infer that he had the phone in school and was perhaps texting in school, and also was not forthright in telling what he knew about the situation) was in any way disproportionate. I suspect it was not.

It doesn't really matter what the offense was. If it's sexting or drug sales, they are obligated to call the police. Whether it's serious or not, they are on thin ice demanding a kid's private cellphone, and could actually taint s criminal investigation. With all of the lawyer parents at the school, how do they not know this?

Why not start a new thread talking about this parent and her child's experience at the other school? Seems irrelevant to this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a parent at another schoool, and I'd say the disciplinary process at our kids' school and probably at many other independent schools should also be scrutinized. Our son, who is white, was a witness to an incident (not involving any racial or sexual dimension) that resulted in a disciplinary action against another student. An administrator met with our son to "persuade" him to hand over his cell phone to look at texts. Our son was not sure what to do, felt threatened by the administrator, and asked if he could talk this over with us. He wasn't allowed to do so and ended up allowing the administrator to see the texts. He feels terrible about this and the outcome for the other student.

That's awful, bullying a student like that. I hope you spoke to the administrator about privacy, your child's personal property, etc.

Sounds like a partial story to me. Certainly possible to have very serious conduct (cyberbullying or drug sales or cheating) that involves texting and doesn't "involv[e] racial or sexual dimensions." Without knowing what conduct the school was investigating, I have no idea whether the school's response in persuading the student to show texts (more partial facts -- one can infer that he had the phone in school and was perhaps texting in school, and also was not forthright in telling what he knew about the situation) was in any way disproportionate. I suspect it was not.

It doesn't really matter what the offense was. If it's sexting or drug sales, they are obligated to call the police. Whether it's serious or not, they are on thin ice demanding a kid's private cellphone, and could actually taint s criminal investigation. With all of the lawyer parents at the school, how do they not know this?

No, a private party getting access to potential evidence does not "taint" a criminal investigation. The Fourth Amendment requires state action. Not applicable where a student attends a private school. Moreover, most schools have broad handbook language that gives them quite a bit more investigatory and disciplinary discretion than people seem to think they have.

I would actually be fine with my child learning just how permanent and insecure texts and many other social media communications are in the context of a private school disciplinary process. They might be more careful in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Cathedral parent too and I think GDS is a freak-show. The more I learn and hear and, frankly read on this forum, the stronger and denser that opinion grows.

Did you think everything written about STA/NCS on this forum has been accurate? If not (which is the assumption, as crazy stuff has been written about both Cathedral schools), then it is very odd indeed that you would take everything written on DCUM about GDS at face value.

Cathedral schools parent to whom you are referring here. Well, first of all, much of what is written about NCS and STA on DCUM is true, at least from my viewpoint. You just need to take out the obvious jealousy and vitriol.

NCS can be a viper pit and is insanely, overly the top, competitive. It chews up many of the girls who attend. I have yet to meet a parent who refuses to admit this privately. You have to be a very specific type to survive - terrifically confident and hyper intelligent and being a decent (not super great, just really competent, and definitely into it) athlete surely doesn't hurt. The girls bring much of the drama and craziness on themselves but the administration does nothing to change or improve the situation. It is not for the weak of heart or mind or constitution.

STA is largely a bastion of old school preppy waspy-ness and is currently leaning a bit too heavily toward nerdiness and over emphasis on intellectual versus atheltics. It does have weak lacrosse and football programs and does need to do a bit of recruting of more athletic boys for those sports.

Still most of the unflattering posts about the Cathedral schools (at least NCS/STA) come from outsiders (one notable exception being the old-time alum NCS alums who hate STA), not from the current families and students themselves. That is very clear.

On the other hand, GDS rarely comes off well on these boards and it is largely of their own making. Between the constant harping on "we were really the Obama's first choice" and "we send more kids to Harvard then anywhere else in the universe" the parents and students come off as sniveling, self-promoting, whiners. Add in the blatant, over-whelming and pathetic insecurity complex with regard to Sidwell, highlighted regularly by GDS folks desperation to make their school seem better than Sidwell (LOL), its a freakshow. So yes, GDS looks worse on here than any other school, even Landon which is always getting attack by outsiders.

Did you consult the Big Book O' Stereotypes before writing this? First, you clearly have fallen for the anti-GDS troll who pretends to be affiliated with the school and inflames gullible dupes with gibes about Harvard. Second, your view of St. Albans is contradictory -- which is it, "old school preppy waspy" or "nerd[y]" and over-emphasizing intellectual pursuits over athletics. (And on the latter point, umm, it's a school -- sounds good that it values intellectual pursuits.) And as an adult, are you really throwing around terms like "nerdiness"? And calling another school "a freakshow'?

Think about why you are using middle school rhetoric and please stop purporting to represent anyone affiliated with STA or NCS or Beauvoir, as you are not in line with the values of any of those schools (which strongly respect their peer schools in DC).

[Anonymous]

23:19, astute observations on some of the overheated rhetoric. As a former member of the GDS community, I don't remember parents or kids spending much time discussing Sidwell, except for key sports matches during the year, National Merit numbers, etc. Of course, folks are not oblivious, but really no different than any local school rivalries, including my flyover home town (though this thread refers to independents, not publics).

Sometimes I wonder if some of the animus directed towards the school arises from a poster's unconscious ethnic, racial, or religious bias. The school was founded by African-American and Jewish families who had been excluded by the Cathedral schools and Sidwell. Perhaps these posters do not know that the first family counts some GDS parents, former classmates and colleagues, amongst their friends. Maybe these people are simply invisible to them, hence, why the posters continue to cleave to the cudgel about the supposedly unwarranted security concerns when they clearly know nothing about the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a parent at another school, and I'd say the disciplinary process at our kids' school and probably at many other independent schools should also be scrutinized. Our son, who is white, was a witness to an incident (not involving any racial or sexual dimension) that resulted in a disciplinary action against another student. An administrator met with our son to "persuade" him to hand over his cell phone to look at texts. Our son was not sure what to do, felt threatened by the administrator, and asked if he could talk this over with us. He wasn't allowed to do so and ended up allowing the administrator to see the texts. He feels terrible about this and the outcome for the other student.

Why not start a new thread talking about this parent and her child's experience at the other school? Seems irrelevant to this thread.

It's relevant because it suggests that at least some of the troubles at GDS high school involve issues that other private schools face as well.

It's only irrelevant if you think that the point of the thread is bashing/defending GDS more generally rather than talking about the specific challenges the school is dealing with right now. And those aren't whether the Obama girls will enroll. Those are what role parents and the board will play in school governance, whether the school remains committed to (and has an effective and intelligent way to implement) its diversity mission, and how to overhaul a disciplinary process that seems really arbitrary. These are serious issues and they have clearly affected students at the HS this year. The open forum had many kids (and some teachers) in tears. And the next day scores of kids just sicked out and stayed home. The parent forum the week after was a disaster -- it left parents questioning whether the Head has the capacity (or even the will) to work through these tough issues. Whether we get problem-solving or just PR in response to recent events remains to be seen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a parent at another school, and I'd say the disciplinary process at our kids' school and probably at many other independent schools should also be scrutinized. Our son, who is white, was a witness to an incident (not involving any racial or sexual dimension) that resulted in a disciplinary action against another student. An administrator met with our son to "persuade" him to hand over his cell phone to look at texts. Our son was not sure what to do, felt threatened by the administrator, and asked if he could talk this over with us. He wasn't allowed to do so and ended up allowing the administrator to see the texts. He feels terrible about this and the outcome for the other student.

Why not start a new thread talking about this parent and her child's experience at the other school? Seems irrelevant to this thread.

It's relevant because it suggests that at least some of the troubles at GDS high school involve issues that other private schools face as well.

It's only irrelevant if you think that the point of the thread is bashing/defending GDS more generally rather than talking about the specific challenges the school is dealing with right now. And those aren't whether the Obama girls will enroll. Those are what role parents and the board will play in school governance, whether the school remains committed to (and has an effective and intelligent way to implement) its diversity mission, and how to overhaul a disciplinary process that seems really arbitrary. These are serious issues and they have clearly affected students at the HS this year. The open forum had many kids (and some teachers) in tears. And the next day scores of kids just sicked out and stayed home. The parent forum the week after was a disaster -- it left parents questioning whether the Head has the capacity (or even the will) to work through these tough issues. Whether we get problem-solving or just PR in response to recent events remains to be seen.

Can you all just go back to telling your kids to study for finals? Seriously...you are either too rich or too dumb if you think any of this is important.

[Anonymous]

Smart people who spend a lot of money to send their kids to a particular kind of school often care about the kind of education their kids are getting. Go figure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Cathedral parent too and I think GDS is a freak-show. The more I learn and hear and, frankly read on this forum, the stronger and denser that opinion grows.

Did you think everything written about STA/NCS on this forum has been accurate? If not (which is the assumption, as crazy stuff has been written about both Cathedral schools), then it is very odd indeed that you would take everything written on DCUM about GDS at face value.

Cathedral schools parent to whom you are referring here. Well, first of all, much of what is written about NCS and STA on DCUM is true, at least from my viewpoint. You just need to take out the obvious jealousy and vitriol.

NCS can be a viper pit and is insanely, overly the top, competitive. It chews up many of the girls who attend. I have yet to meet a parent who refuses to admit this privately. You have to be a very specific type to survive - terrifically confident and hyper intelligent and being a decent (not super great, just really competent, and definitely into it) athlete surely doesn't hurt. The girls bring much of the drama and craziness on themselves but the administration does nothing to change or improve the situation. It is not for the weak of heart or mind or constitution.

STA is largely a bastion of old school preppy waspy-ness and is currently leaning a bit too heavily toward nerdiness and over emphasis on intellectual versus atheltics. It does have weak lacrosse and football programs and does need to do a bit of recruting of more athletic boys for those sports.

Still most of the unflattering posts about the Cathedral schools (at least NCS/STA) come from outsiders (one notable exception being the old-time alum NCS alums who hate STA), not from the current families and students themselves. That is very clear.

On the other hand, GDS rarely comes off well on these boards and it is largely of their own making. Between the constant harping on "we were really the Obama's first choice" and "we send more kids to Harvard then anywhere else in the universe" the parents and students come off as sniveling, self-promoting, whiners. Add in the blatant, over-whelming and pathetic insecurity complex with regard to Sidwell, highlighted regularly by GDS folks desperation to make their school seem better than Sidwell (LOL), its a freakshow. So yes, GDS looks worse on here than any other school, even Landon which is always getting attack by outsiders.

Cathedral parent to whom you responded:

My daughter is in the upper school at NCS. It is not a viper pit unless the girl lets it get to her. My DD doesn't care about competition, nor is she hyper intelligent or terrifically confident. She is surviving just fine. She has many friends like her, so I think your characterization of the school is overblown. Do we parents worry? Sure - but so far as I can tell, no one thinks as ill of the school as the alleged parents who post such vitriol about it on here - vitriol which you happily repeat, I note. As for the administration, we have friends whose DD suffered terrible anxiety and stress, and they report that the school has not only been supportive but accommodating. Again, I think the opinions expressed on here are not quite in line with reality.

As for the stuff about the Obamas and Harvard, those are posted - pretty clearly - by anti-GDS posters, because they drop those two statements into every.GDS.thread as standalone posts - and then watch the fireworks.

Oh, and if you are actually a Cathedral parent, you know that NCS/STA are at least as competitive about Sidwell as anyone at GDS. It is the only private school in the area that my DD and her friends actively denigrate. Seems insecure to me.

I disagree about Sidwell. We had no interest in Sidwell or GDS, as they are too liberal and not main stream enough for our family. It does not even come up on our radar as a school we compete with.

[Anonymous]

Why do you view school as a competition?