The two SN children in DC's class slow down the pace of instruction every day, every class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious OP - is your child's school progressive?

Yes, but this does describe most of the upper NW private schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for summing up what many SN parents suspect the other parents think of their children, but won't admit to.

In our case I wonder if the school should not have told the parents about some students needing extra help, attention ecc
We have a child with an extra handler but if my child had not told me I would never know what goes on in the class room.
I also agree parents should stay out but the school does not communicate openly and honestly about these children and their needs or how the class might be impacted. No wonder parents get upset if we have to find out through the back door. Also parents of SN in my child's class pretend they are not, so That does not help communication either.

My son has special needs and from my point of view, it's no one else's business. I would be extremely upset if a school shared that with other parents without my permission.

I expect that if my son's needs were so great that they could not be balanced with the rest of the class, the school would tell me that it's not a good fit.

I think your expectations are right on the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for summing up what many SN parents suspect the other parents think of their children, but won't admit to.

In our case I wonder if the school should not have told the parents about some students needing extra help, attention ecc
We have a child with an extra handler but if my child had not told me I would never know what goes on in the class room.
I also agree parents should stay out but the school does not communicate openly and honestly about these children and their needs or how the class might be impacted. No wonder parents get upset if we have to find out through the back door. Also parents of SN in my child's class pretend they are not, so That does not help communication either.

My son has special needs and from my point of view, it's no one else's business. I would be extremely upset if a school shared that with other parents without my permission.

I expect that if my son's needs were so great that they could not be balanced with the rest of the class, the school would tell me that it's not a good fit.

When the kids get old enough, as in the case of the OP's kid, you can be sure they all know the deal with each other. It's very clear who is getting supports and what those accommodations are. You don't need to have the neuropsych report to pick up on this in 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for summing up what many SN parents suspect the other parents think of their children, but won't admit to.

In our case I wonder if the school should not have told the parents about some students needing extra help, attention ecc
We have a child with an extra handler but if my child had not told me I would never know what goes on in the class room.
I also agree parents should stay out but the school does not communicate openly and honestly about these children and their needs or how the class might be impacted. No wonder parents get upset if we have to find out through the back door. Also parents of SN in my child's class pretend they are not, so That does not help communication either.

Do you really think a school should share with you confidential information about other children? FERPA may not apply in private schools, but basic ethical standards do. Sheesh.

I don't mean medical information but I feel it is dishonest of the school to pretend there are no challenges to the class and teachers by bringing certain students to the mix. The school accepts the kids based on $$$ but the teachers and class have to make it work.

A school absolutely cannot disclose this kind of information about another student. It isn't a "back door" its basic ethics and possibly the law.

???

What is unethical is to shortchange all students but two, in the benefit of two (assuming OP is right), and to actively hide that very relevant information.

You're conflating different issues: 1) allowing two students to derail the class for everyone else, and 2) sharing confidential information with the rest of the class. Just because #1 is wrong doesn't make #2 right.

There are plenty of kids without SN diagnoses who disrupt classes for other kids. The medical background of each kid is not the issue here. The issue here is meeting the needs of all the kids whose families expect their needs to be met by the school, and if the school isn't doing that, the school doesn't fix that problem by violating the confidence of an SN family.

Other families don't have a right to your private diagnostic information. They have a right to expect the class to work well, but that doesn't make your private information their business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for summing up what many SN parents suspect the other parents think of their children, but won't admit to.

In our case I wonder if the school should not have told the parents about some students needing extra help, attention ecc
We have a child with an extra handler but if my child had not told me I would never know what goes on in the class room.
I also agree parents should stay out but the school does not communicate openly and honestly about these children and their needs or how the class might be impacted. No wonder parents get upset if we have to find out through the back door. Also parents of SN in my child's class pretend they are not, so That does not help communication either.

My son has special needs and from my point of view, it's no one else's business. I would be extremely upset if a school shared that with other parents without my permission.

I expect that if my son's needs were so great that they could not be balanced with the rest of the class, the school would tell me that it's not a good fit.

When the kids get old enough, as in the case of the OP's kid, you can be sure they all know the deal with each other. It's very clear who is getting supports and what those accommodations are. You don't need to have the neuropsych report to pick up on this in 6th grade.

I agree with this. Of course, it doesn't argue for spilling confidential info, only that it might be superfluous at some point. All the more reason not to go there.

[Anonymous]

I have a child with SN and I am sympathetic to the OP here. The school needs to figure out a way of supporting all the students in the class that does not depend on slowing everything down to the pace needed by the kid who needs the most help.

[Anonymous]

Reminder: its also week #1... see how things go this month. Once you aren't in review your child's experience may change. Also, since this is NW, the non-big-whatever schools do take a mix bag of learners(gifted, kids with LDs, etc.) - this allows your "gifted" kid who would be "meh to good" at STA or Sidwell to be "the smart kid." We selected Field for this reason for our son who is bright, not sporty and doesn't like to do hours upon hours of homework. He can be at the top of his class there and really shine. He would be killed socially and academically at STA or Sidwell and not for a lack of brightness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you feel guilty for your thought? I can maybe see if your child was in a public school, but you paying 35k for a service your child is not receiving. You have every right to bitch and moan imo. Nothing to feel guilty about

+1 I'd be very annoyed by this. The teacher should have the time structured to meet everyone's needs, not the slowest. The school should also provide the necessary support for the children who are falling behind.

[Anonymous]

I would be wary of these sort of eye-roller stories. Observe and you might find things are not what you were told. Kids love a good scapegoat, and they love knowing their parents are incensed about something -- that isn't them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for summing up what many SN parents suspect the other parents think of their children, but won't admit to.

In our case I wonder if the school should not have told the parents about some students needing extra help, attention ecc
We have a child with an extra handler but if my child had not told me I would never know what goes on in the class room.
I also agree parents should stay out but the school does not communicate openly and honestly about these children and their needs or how the class might be impacted. No wonder parents get upset if we have to find out through the back door. Also parents of SN in my child's class pretend they are not, so That does not help communication either.

My son has special needs and from my point of view, it's no one else's business. I would be extremely upset if a school shared that with other parents without my permission.

I expect that if my son's needs were so great that they could not be balanced with the rest of the class, the school would tell me that it's not a good fit.

I think your expectations are right on the money.

Agreed. There's always someone else willing to pay. Plus, they wouldn't take a student who they felt could harm their reputation. Somebody made a business decision that those SN kids were a positive addition to the school, and it's a shame that OP can't see that. Or maybe she's just mad that those SN kids are considered equal to her son.

[Anonymous]

Business decision by admin - bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, we are at a private. The regular kids are slowing down my special needs kid. Very few teachers teach to the higher kids as the lower ones need help catching up so they slow down the higher learners till the others catch up.

You think this is fair to dumb down the class? I want my child to learn in school not be bored to tears because your kid can't keep up with class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for summing up what many SN parents suspect the other parents think of their children, but won't admit to.

In our case I wonder if the school should not have told the parents about some students needing extra help, attention ecc
We have a child with an extra handler but if my child had not told me I would never know what goes on in the class room.
I also agree parents should stay out but the school does not communicate openly and honestly about these children and their needs or how the class might be impacted. No wonder parents get upset if we have to find out through the back door. Also parents of SN in my child's class pretend they are not, so That does not help communication either.

My son has special needs and from my point of view, it's no one else's business. I would be extremely upset if a school shared that with other parents without my permission.

I expect that if my son's needs were so great that they could not be balanced with the rest of the class, the school would tell me that it's not a good fit.

I think your expectations are right on the money.

Not PP, but I had a bad experience with a private school and a child with SN. The school kept insisting that it was able to meet my son's needs. It became more and more apparent that they could not. At the point that I finally pulled my child from the school, they were continuing to insist that they could meet my child's needs when it was clear to me, my husband, and anyone who had the slightest contact with my child's class that it was a disaster. Not good for my kid. Not good for the rest of the class. They just couldn't admit that they couldn't do it. It was a complete institutional failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reminder: its also week #1... see how things go this month. Once you aren't in review your child's experience may change. Also, since this is NW, the non-big-whatever schools do take a mix bag of learners(gifted, kids with LDs, etc.) - this allows your "gifted" kid who would be "meh to good" at STA or Sidwell to be "the smart kid." We selected Field for this reason for our son who is bright, not sporty and doesn't like to do hours upon hours of homework. He can be at the top of his class there and really shine. He would be killed socially and academically at STA or Sidwell and not for a lack of brightness.

Trophy parenting at its worst. Rather than placing your child in a challenging environment so that he has to stretch, you put him in an environment where he can coast and feel good about himself.

God help him when he gets to college. He is going to get his ass handed to him emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminder: its also week #1... see how things go this month. Once you aren't in review your child's experience may change. Also, since this is NW, the non-big-whatever schools do take a mix bag of learners(gifted, kids with LDs, etc.) - this allows your "gifted" kid who would be "meh to good" at STA or Sidwell to be "the smart kid." We selected Field for this reason for our son who is bright, not sporty and doesn't like to do hours upon hours of homework. He can be at the top of his class there and really shine. He would be killed socially and academically at STA or Sidwell and not for a lack of brightness.

Trophy parenting at its worst. Rather than placing your child in a challenging environment so that he has to stretch, you put him in an environment where he can coast and feel good about himself.

God help him when he gets to college. He is going to get his ass handed to him emotionally.

I don't think this is fair to say. We are in upper primary know and I am really surprised how many students have SN or LD. Not sure if this is just a bad year but the class is getting really divided. How can you teach and challenge everyone where they are? Our school gives every student a lot of time to get up to speed in the lower primary years, however the majority didn't take it as an opportunity to learn at their speed but to slag a little longer. I feel it is well meant by the school but wrongly understood by the parents.