DC's "classes" are killing me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone that has worked with the elementary school, I can also tell which kids have had opportunities to sit and listen, develop patience, etc. One year of preschool doesn't cut it for children that are expected to read by the end of kindergarten. And the kindergarten I attended 25 years ago? It was at a science/math magnet school, it was the only school in the area that limited play time in favor of education. The only kids that got in were the ones who could show that they knew basics like sitting still and listening, full alphabet and numbers to 20 (minimum), etc.

Being able to sit still has nothing to do with reading ability. I don't know why working with the elementary school didn't make that clear to you. My 4.5 year old can read in three languages and knows his numbers. Sitting still and listening for long periods of time? yeah, not his strength, and we don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I required the following as a sahm

Two hours every other day for exercise. This included prep and shower time. We walked with me pushing stroller. She didnt want to get in? Tough luck. I had enticing small treat for her and off we went.

Three hours minimum for housework. I usually did this during nap times.

One hour to cook.

The rest was free time, and I did a lit of inviting toddlers and their caregivers to my home or walkable playground. An hour or two was fine.

No $ for classes. It just seemed silly at that time. And a kid who wont sit still for story time shouldn't be at story time or else-- and id say this is more likely--is not at a toddler appropriate story time. Toddler appropriate story time involves movement.

YES! Finally, a sensible comment. Expecting toddlers to sit still like little adults is crazy.

[Anonymous]

ous wrote:
I required the following as a sahm

Two hours every other day for exercise. This included prep and shower time. We walked with me pushing stroller. She didnt want to get in? Tough luck. I had enticing small treat for her and off we went.

Three hours minimum for housework. I usually did this during nap times.

One hour to cook.

The rest was free time, and I did a lit of inviting toddlers and their caregivers to my home or walkable playground. An hour or two was fine.

No $ for classes. It just seemed silly at that time. And a kid who wont sit still for story time shouldn't be at story time or else-- and id say this is more likely--is not at a toddler appropriate story time. Toddler appropriate story time involves movement.


You really do three hours of housework a day?! That is not a SAHM - that's an old fashioned housewife.

Who else is going to clean the house?


Not PP but DH and I split the housekeeping chores in the evenings, mornings and weekends same as we did when I was working out of the house before we had a baby. My job is to care for and educate our child during the day.

Nothing, and I mean, nothing was more annoying and frustrating than coming home to a completely wrecked house after a full day of work. I know being home is hard (I did it too for a bit), but it almost killed my marriage when my DH tried to pull this crap when he was home with our kids (he also got a damn job because enough was enough). I get that you can't have a spotless house as a SAHP. I get it. But when things are so gross and you walk into the same mess you left, you might not be cut out for being home full time.

Back to OP. I had serious back issues post partum with both of my kids. Physical therapy repaired a lot of my issues and I learned that for a lot of women if you don't nip the back issues in the bud within four or five years, you are facing a long time with pain. Get a referral from you OBGYN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I required the following as a sahm

Two hours every other day for exercise. This included prep and shower time. We walked with me pushing stroller. She didnt want to get in? Tough luck. I had enticing small treat for her and off we went.

Three hours minimum for housework. I usually did this during nap times.

One hour to cook.

The rest was free time, and I did a lit of inviting toddlers and their caregivers to my home or walkable playground. An hour or two was fine.

No $ for classes. It just seemed silly at that time. And a kid who wont sit still for story time shouldn't be at story time or else-- and id say this is more likely--is not at a toddler appropriate story time. Toddler appropriate story time involves movement.

YES! Finally, a sensible comment. Expecting toddlers to sit still like little adults is crazy.

? Then how can my toddler sit still (like a toddler not an adult) for twenty-five minutes of story time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

ous wrote:
I required the following as a sahm

Two hours every other day for exercise. This included prep and shower time. We walked with me pushing stroller. She didnt want to get in? Tough luck. I had enticing small treat for her and off we went.

Three hours minimum for housework. I usually did this during nap times.

One hour to cook.

The rest was free time, and I did a lit of inviting toddlers and their caregivers to my home or walkable playground. An hour or two was fine.

No $ for classes. It just seemed silly at that time. And a kid who wont sit still for story time shouldn't be at story time or else-- and id say this is more likely--is not at a toddler appropriate story time. Toddler appropriate story time involves movement.


You really do three hours of housework a day?! That is not a SAHM - that's an old fashioned housewife.

Who else is going to clean the house?


Not PP but DH and I split the housekeeping chores in the evenings, mornings and weekends same as we did when I was working out of the house before we had a baby. My job is to care for and educate our child during the day.

Nothing, and I mean, nothing was more annoying and frustrating than coming home to a completely wrecked house after a full day of work. I know being home is hard (I did it too for a bit), but it almost killed my marriage when my DH tried to pull this crap when he was home with our kids (he also got a damn job because enough was enough). I get that you can't have a spotless house as a SAHP. I get it. But when things are so gross and you walk into the same mess you left, you might not be cut out for being home full time.

Back to OP. I had serious back issues post partum with both of my kids. Physical therapy repaired a lot of my issues and I learned that for a lot of women if you don't nip the back issues in the bud within four or five years, you are facing a long time with pain. Get a referral from you OBGYN.

Our house is never "wrecked" I pick up after DC and do all of his laundry, etc. Basically it is just like when we were both working before we had a child.

[Anonymous]

Why does OP have to sit on the floor at story time? If you child is as able to sit still for 25 minutes as claimed, I would stand in the back and let him sit in the scrum with the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Housework isn't beneath me either. But no way does my house need 3 hours of work every day.

Perhaps you have only one young child? Or someone does not cook every night, requiring both shopping and cleanup? Or you do not have a hairy pet? Anyway. Yes, three hours sounds about right to me. Sometimes less, sometimes more.

I now work ft as does my husband from our home offices. We have a team of two cleaners come Fri and Mon for three hours. They work hard and fast. Thts already 12 total hours a week. I fill in with hours, too, Tues through Thurs, to maintain some tidy. So 15 hours a week with two kids, a dog, and nightly dishes plus once or twice a month in-home entertainment of guests sounds about right to me... Again, ymmv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Housework isn't beneath me either. But no way does my house need 3 hours of work every day.

Perhaps you have only one young child? Or someone does not cook every night, requiring both shopping and cleanup? Or you do not have a hairy pet? Anyway. Yes, three hours sounds about right to me. Sometimes less, sometimes more.

I now work ft as does my husband from our home offices. We have a team of two cleaners come Fri and Mon for three hours. They work hard and fast. Thts already 12 total hours a week. I fill in with hours, too, Tues through Thurs, to maintain some tidy. So 15 hours a week with two kids, a dog, and nightly dishes plus once or twice a month in-home entertainment of guests sounds about right to me... Again, ymmv.

My kids are 4 and 2 and are home with me (they go to preschool some days, not in the summer) and we have a lab (who sheds). Yes, we cook most meals at home, if you're including that in housework. I still can't get up to 3 hours per day, 5 or 7 days a week. Our house is very small. Maybe that's the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I required the following as a sahm

Two hours every other day for exercise. This included prep and shower time. We walked with me pushing stroller. She didnt want to get in? Tough luck. I had enticing small treat for her and off we went.

Three hours minimum for housework. I usually did this during nap times.

One hour to cook.

The rest was free time, and I did a lit of inviting toddlers and their caregivers to my home or walkable playground. An hour or two was fine.

No $ for classes. It just seemed silly at that time. And a kid who wont sit still for story time shouldn't be at story time or else-- and id say this is more likely--is not at a toddler appropriate story time. Toddler appropriate story time involves movement.

YES! Finally, a sensible comment. Expecting toddlers to sit still like little adults is crazy.

? Then how can my toddler sit still (like a toddler not an adult) for twenty-five minutes of story time?

Because maybe, just maybe, there is a range of variation in toddler behavior and while *most* would find it difficult to sit for a long time, yours doesn't. So we should program all toddler storytimes just for those on the less active range of variation?

I used to run children's storytimes for a library. A toddler program (1-2 yrs) was normally 20 minutes with about 2 very short books, mainly rhymes, followed by a lot of movement activities with song/rhyme. That is what is developmentally appropriate for *most* toddlers. You may be fortunate to have a toddler who is better able to sit for long periods but that does not mean that a) something is wrong with the other toddlers or b) something is wrong with the other parents.

[Anonymous]

get one of those floor chairs!

like this - http://www.amazon.com/Portable-MEMORY-Folding-Adjustable-Back-Rest/dp/B00LU1X780/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1433175917&sr=8-1&keywords=folding+chair+on+floor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Housework isn't beneath me either. But no way does my house need 3 hours of work every day.

Perhaps you have only one young child? Or someone does not cook every night, requiring both shopping and cleanup? Or you do not have a hairy pet? Anyway. Yes, three hours sounds about right to me. Sometimes less, sometimes more.

I now work ft as does my husband from our home offices. We have a team of two cleaners come Fri and Mon for three hours. They work hard and fast. Thts already 12 total hours a week. I fill in with hours, too, Tues through Thurs, to maintain some tidy. So 15 hours a week with two kids, a dog, and nightly dishes plus once or twice a month in-home entertainment of guests sounds about right to me... Again, ymmv.

My kids are 4 and 2 and are home with me (they go to preschool some days, not in the summer) and we have a lab (who sheds). Yes, we cook most meals at home, if you're including that in housework. I still can't get up to 3 hours per day, 5 or 7 days a week. Our house is very small. Maybe that's the difference.

Ok. I don't want to micromanage your domestic schedule. I might've been on the high end if the spectrum. Some things were regular activities (vacuum dining room, clean kitchen, tidy bedrooms and play spaces, one load of laundry, a dusty room) and one rotating "big chore" like closet/fridge/storage/holiday decoration/lawn and garden/seasonal clothes/hand me down management/quicken finances/bathrooms/sheets, etc. So, yup, about three hours.

[Anonymous]

Instead of the classes where you sit on the floor, sign up for JW Tumbles or kid's yoga where the kids are active. You do have to follow them around, but I like that better than the floor thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a very nervous SAHM. Are you scared of being 1 on 1 with your kid? Your son does not need the classes- but you do. Why?

LOL OP spends all day with her kid! Classes last, at most, 40 minutes. Stop trying to project your guilt at not doing educational stuff with your child on the those of us who do.

Oh, I have no guilt about the Way I spend time with my kiddo. I also don't say that it's killing me. That's odd.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has probably said just about everything there is, but OP, I definitely understand your point. It's exhausting!

For me, though, the classes were always a welcome change. I actually felt like that was a time when I could relax. Maybe I had to move a little, but at least someone else was taking charge and entertaining my kid for a while. It felt so good to not be "in charge" for just a little portion of the day!

Sure, I had to keep my kid from running into the corner and dumping out the garbage can (Music Together class with a very inviting garbage can). But usually the venues are set up to be kid-friendly. Maybe you need to look for some other options -- things that involve more physical activity for the kid, like gymnastics (Little Gym is great) or yoga. My DS loved yoga. Although you move around a lot, it's not super fast-paced, keeps the kids on track, and has a rest period at the end for everyone.

Plus, yoga was really welcoming of kids just being kids and running off when they wanted to. As long as they weren't getting in trouble or hurting themselves or anyone else, fine. The idea was that kids will have more fun if they aren't cajoled into paying attention and doing things.

My biggest advice is to STOP DOING ANYTHING ABOUT THE KID AT NAPTIME. This is purely YOU time. My DS is 3 and doesn't nap anymore, and I wish to god I just had a little "me" time. We do a quiet time, but it isn't the same, nor as long. You can do some laundry and prep some food when he's awake. Sleep, watch TV, eat ice cream, read a book, but do something for you during naptime! You need a real break when you're alone with a kid all day.

[Anonymous]

Well, don't have another kid, that's for sure. It's not like three is just way easier so if I were you I'd save some gas so you don't burn out. Your kid does not need to be entertained every second fo the day. The New Yorker did this great article a while ago about the enormous importance of boredom and blank tkme for all of us especially kids. Google it. And ffs chill out, this is hard but you're making it just silly.