So angry at my mother I could just explode

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry OP. We have not been able to leave our kids with my parents overnight, they are old and have way too many medical problems...My mom has to take painkillers in order to function, after a bad car accident years ago, she has a lot of reconstructive surgery. She is still working from home and has to time her meds carefully so she can be clearheaded during part of the day and still get the rest she needs. My Dad has several chronic health issues. When we go to a museum, he has to use a wheelchair to be able to do the whole exhibit. We did daytime dropoffs when our eldest kid was younger and wasn't too fast on her feet, like an afternoon hike but back for dinner.
I guess what I am saying is maybe it is time to shift from being horrified and angry, to realizing you have joined the sandwich generation and your parents are part of your circle of caring. It sounds like Mom will need more help and it will be easier if you approach it from a place of daughter sympathy instead of mommy rage.

Yes, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry OP. We have not been able to leave our kids with my parents overnight, they are old and have way too many medical problems...My mom has to take painkillers in order to function, after a bad car accident years ago, she has a lot of reconstructive surgery. She is still working from home and has to time her meds carefully so she can be clearheaded during part of the day and still get the rest she needs. My Dad has several chronic health issues. When we go to a museum, he has to use a wheelchair to be able to do the whole exhibit. We did daytime dropoffs when our eldest kid was younger and wasn't too fast on her feet, like an afternoon hike but back for dinner.
I guess what I am saying is maybe it is time to shift from being horrified and angry, to realizing you have joined the sandwich generation and your parents are part of your circle of caring. It sounds like Mom will need more help and it will be easier if you approach it from a place of daughter sympathy instead of mommy rage.

Yes, this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I am sorry. I wouldn't ever leave your child with her again. She obviously isn't capable if taking care of a small child. I don't think the child will be irrevocably harmed by this, though. Kids are super resilient.

[Anonymous]

So sorry for your loss, OP. I hope you and your DD are doing better today. I think you are 150% right to be angry, sad, disappointed, and hurt by your mother's actions. In the context of your loss, which I assume she knew all about, it's even more terrible. I suggest doing something extra special with your daughter today, of this weekend, or whenever you are up to it. You both deserve it. Also, she will forget about this completely, I'm sure. The most important thing to her is the love she gets from you and her father every single day. As awful as that was for her and for you to contemplate, the love and attention you give her are primary in her mind. Time will take care of a lot of this. Let it wear off; I know you will both feel better. Best to you, OP, and to your DH, as well, as he has also had a loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sleeping at her house and my mom overslept, and did not set an alarm clock, and did not use a monitor or keep the doors open in her hallway. I found my daughter crying in her crib, hungry and wet, 4 hours after she wakes up every day. So, yeah. Short of physical injury I can't think of much worse. I want to cry just typing this.

I don't really see the issue. Hungry and wet sucks but parents do this all the time. I'm a live in nanny and have found babies still in their cribs at noon crying because the parents are too hung over. It's normal.

I really hope this is a troll.

No I am not a troll. It's not an everyday occurrence or in my case an every weekend occurrence as I work during the week. But yes I have worked for a few families that leave babies in cribs or have toddlers who roam free for upwards of 6 hrs on weekends. The older kids fend for themselves. I try and not step in as its not my place but after a 2 yr old started throwing wine bottles on the ground in the kitchen I stepped in to clean up the glass. The children wake up at 7 am the parents usually around noon.

That doesn't make it okay.

I am curious about the demographic you work for...I don't know of anyone who does this. Who are these immature drunks that can afford to keep a live-in nanny?

As someone who lives with them I see alot. Most people would never know. One was a couple who the mom was a lawyer and the dad a buisness owner . They were probably the most wealthy people I've ever worked for multi millionaires. Who should have hired a weekend nanny but very laxed parents to begin with. The other were everyday federal workers. You don't know what people do behind closed doors. I could write a book. So when I say it's normal it's because I have witnessed it a lot.

Still not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sleeping at her house and my mom overslept, and did not set an alarm clock, and did not use a monitor or keep the doors open in her hallway. I found my daughter crying in her crib, hungry and wet, 4 hours after she wakes up every day. So, yeah. Short of physical injury I can't think of much worse. I want to cry just typing this.

I don't really see the issue. Hungry and wet sucks but parents do this all the time. I'm a live in nanny and have found babies still in their cribs at noon crying because the parents are too hung over. It's normal.

I really hope this is a troll.

No I am not a troll. It's not an everyday occurrence or in my case an every weekend occurrence as I work during the week. But yes I have worked for a few families that leave babies in cribs or have toddlers who roam free for upwards of 6 hrs on weekends. The older kids fend for themselves. I try and not step in as its not my place but after a 2 yr old started throwing wine bottles on the ground in the kitchen I stepped in to clean up the glass. The children wake up at 7 am the parents usually around noon.

That doesn't make it okay.

I am curious about the demographic you work for...I don't know of anyone who does this. Who are these immature drunks that can afford to keep a live-in nanny?

As someone who lives with them I see alot. Most people would never know. One was a couple who the mom was a lawyer and the dad a buisness owner . They were probably the most wealthy people I've ever worked for multi millionaires. Who should have hired a weekend nanny but very laxed parents to begin with. The other were everyday federal workers. You don't know what people do behind closed doors. I could write a book. So when I say it's normal it's because I have witnessed it a lot.

Still not normal.

Still not normal, and if you, as the nanny, did not step in to get the kid out of the crib, then you are negligent too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was the baby sleeping at your moms? Do you work the night shift or travel for work?

OP already answered this. She had to be at the hospital early for a D&C after a miscarriage. Don't ask stupid questions.

And not to mention, it's not relevant why the baby was sleeping at mom's house, as long as everyone consented to this arrangement. Why are people so against family helping to take care of kids? What a strange reason to attack someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sleeping at her house and my mom overslept, and did not set an alarm clock, and did not use a monitor or keep the doors open in her hallway. I found my daughter crying in her crib, hungry and wet, 4 hours after she wakes up every day. So, yeah. Short of physical injury I can't think of much worse. I want to cry just typing this.

You need to calm the fuck down, damn.

+10000000000000000000000000000000000000

[Anonymous]

Gurl you need to talk to a social worker about what is real child abuse!
get a frigging grip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gurl you need to talk to a social worker about what is real child abuse!
get a frigging grip

The op never said her mother abused her daughter. But she has every right to be pissed that her daughter was left alone for 4hours in a crib after she woke up for the day. You realize the OP but her to bed the night before sometime between 7-8 (I'm assuming since that's when 90% of toddler go to bed) so she hadent had a diaper change in 16 hours!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sleeping at her house and my mom overslept, and did not set an alarm clock, and did not use a monitor or keep the doors open in her hallway. I found my daughter crying in her crib, hungry and wet, 4 hours after she wakes up every day. So, yeah. Short of physical injury I can't think of much worse. I want to cry just typing this.

You need to calm the fuck down, damn.

+10000000000000000000000000000000000000

You really think it's ok to not change a toddlers diaper for 16 hours?! No the OP doesn't need calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was supposed to be watching my almost 2 year old today and she did something (admittedly unintentionally) that was EXTRAORDINARILY neglectful. I don't know that there was any physical safety risk involved but I honestly think there was emotional damage, at least temporarily. I am sorry I know the vague posts are annoying but I don't want to get into it in a public forum. Let's just say if it was a babysitter I would have kicked her out of my house in .2 seconds and reported her somewhere.

My mom has been going through a lot and loves my daughter so much, and like I said, it was 100% unintentional, but she was just zero percent remorseful. Zero. If I had been in that situation (which I never would have been), I would have been literally crying apologizing and she's sitting there trying to shift the blame. There is really no point of this but I just had to vent. She is never watching my child again. And I am so angry. Ugh.

1) SO sorry for your loss (been there 4 times)

2) You are really most upset about your losses -- trust me -- I know

3) Your mom is now on the defensive so she seems to not have remorse...everyone is hurting now ...give it some time

4) your dd will be fine -- really and truly she is -- she has probably totally forgotten about this

5) I took NYQUIL with a newborn that i was breastfeeding -- i got a cold and took it out of habit -- OOPS! ...stuff happens people make mistakes...let it go and maybe mom is not in a place she can watch DD right now...nurse your real hurt and I hope u feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone being so mean to the OP? I would be livid. It's not okay to leave a baby in her crib alone screaming for four hours. OP, I'm sorry.

+100

[Anonymous]

OP, sorry for your loss, what a horrible day!! I agree this was an awful lapse of judgement. The one good piece of news is that your baby will be OK and won't remember this.

My mom made a similar mistake once, although thankfully there were no consequences. My toddler was at her house, and at some point a few days later she was telling me how that night she was so tired and achy, she took a sleeping pill. I was like "are you serious?", and then she realized what could have happened, especially since my daughter was no longer sleeping in a crib at that point. We still joke about what a dumb decision that was, but I still completely trust her. I think the pig picture of behavior patterns matters a lot here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sleeping at her house and my mom overslept, and did not set an alarm clock, and did not use a monitor or keep the doors open in her hallway. I found my daughter crying in her crib, hungry and wet, 4 hours after she wakes up every day. So, yeah. Short of physical injury I can't think of much worse. I want to cry just typing this.

Seriously? THIS is it? WOW get over yourself. First of all, this is not going to scar your child for life. She was in the safety of her crib, albeit with a wet diaper and hungry. Did you consider maybe something was medically wrong with your mom before you came in and went all postal on her and now say she will never watch your child again? I think YOU need to take a chill pill and calm the hell down. Sounds like you overreacted.