What do we get for $30k per year?

[Anonymous]

Peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Peace of mind.

Oh Really...DD who is 16, shared some of the stuff that goes on with some of the kids at top tier all girls school who play on her club team. I swear I almost spilled my coffee hearing some of the stories, unbelieveable. How can parents pay 30+k and this behavior happens. Not to say it doesn't happen at her school; just last week a kid got expelled for having illegal drugs on campus. So it can happen anywhere...30k doesn't insulate you, so peace of mind is not one of the benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is in 8th in public and we have been touring privates for high school. They all want recommendations, esp. math, english and a counselor. Spoke to the counselor and she does not know who our kid is. Math teacher has 4 classes of about 30; same with English. This school also sends a lot of kids to TJ, and they are all going to want recommnedations also. I'm dreading this part of the admission process. So if you can afford it, I'd say one benefit of privates is smaller class sizes and the teachers will know who your kids are.

Yes. Related to this, I feel I know all of the kids in my kids' grade/class, and other parents know mine.

+1 The head of private middle school works almost full-time on placing all the 8th grade kids in the class. Almost all of them get their first couple of choices, be they public magnet programs, private schools, boarding schools.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher who has taught in both elite private schools and public, the teachers in public schools are better overall. Of course, they have a lot more to deal with in terms of paperwork, but private school teachers have more parent issues to deal with. Just my anecdotal observations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Peace of mind.

Hah! One of my closest friends has sent her DS to an elite, DC private school since K. When DS had his Bar Mitzvah, DH and I of course sent a gift. When we received his thank-you note, we were literally without words. It was as if he never progressed beyond 3rd grade. For all the money she has shelled out for his education, he literally could not write a simple note at age 13. This does not bode well for his future, and certainly does not bring peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

Pp, you Sound like a really nice person. Not.

Oh, and go ahead and judge me because of the mistakes in the line above. Guess my future looks dim.

[Anonymous]

My opinion is that private school is only a smidgen better than public (I mean, in a perfect world, who *doesn't* want smaller class sizes and more concerned/responsive teachers and admin for their children). But the question of whether it's better for *your* particular family depends on your financial situation.

If you make enough money to completely fund k-12, 100% of the private college of your DC's choice, extracurricular activities and camps, plus the little extras that make YOUR life worth living (vacations, dinners out, new clothes once in a while, a nice car, a fancy gym membership if that's your thing etc. etc.). then do it. But if you have to ask, "is this worth what I'd be giving up?" it's not.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I have a Dc at one od the 'Big 3'. It is a stretch for us financially, but worth every effort, every penny to see our child happy, thriving, challenged academically, and in the company of like minded, extremely capable peers. Having said that, if our Dc was not at a Big 3, I would strongly consider the top publics.

[Anonymous]

I went to Langley, pre TJ, when it was the top public in Virginia. It was okay. But with 550 kids in the class, there really isn't a community. Lots of cliques. Very little real adult supervision, certainly no mentors. Lots of kids fell into the wrong groups, and it did hurt them later. There was a group there, model UN, etc., who were mostly merit scholars, went to great colleges, and built solid lives after Langley, (my path) but most of the middle kids have not matched their parents. My family could afford private, but thought it elitist and not 'real world'. Spouses family had different views, and went to a top single sex school. So I acquiesced and did the Cathedral thing for our kids. If I had been given the choice again as a 9th grader, and I was but rejected it, I would have gone private.

My takeaway was really strong and self motivated kids will do equally well anywhere. The middle kids are advantaged by the private school attention, and there are a lot of adults watching their back, and classmates who will be friends for life, and the contacts often do matter. Life is 99% ties, and tiebreakers mean more today than ever before. I think for the kid whose parents who are working 80 hour weeks, and the kid who is bright, but not driven, they will wallow in public, and maybe get in with a not great crowd. Yes, elements of private are snooty, but for the most part, it is a sacrifice for most of the parents financially. I think for all but the absolutely shine rock stars (and there are VERY few of these) it is a good investment in building a young adult ready for the world.

The expense of private is indeed large, but my spouse and I concluded that the more important investment was in their teen years than a very expensive college. We are Episcopalians, but I love a quote from the Jesuits "Give me a child until he is 7, and he is mine for life". With inflation and all, maybe its 17 now, but these years, not the college years, are where their foundation is set.

I would do a top private and U Maryland over a public and Duke. I just think if money makes it an either/or, build the foundation while its still malleable.

Our oldest developed a deep and strong sense of service at his private school, and in what is heresy on DCUM, decided that service by the fortunate and strong to the unfortunate or weak is the highest calling. He is at a Service Academy now, and his college is 'free'.

If your kid is motivated, super bright, and knows 'who' he wants to be, public is fine. Very few kids fit this profile. All of the privates do a very good job helping kids on a personal basis find out who they are, and a basically good kid with strong adult figures in small classes is far less likely to fall into a bad crowd.

So you paid for a private school education at what I presume is StA to have your son enter a military academy and then be sent off to war? How does a kid fare at the academies after going to a posh private? Call me a crazy lib but I much sooner pay for a college education than put my child's life on the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I went to Langley, pre TJ, when it was the top public in Virginia. It was okay. But with 550 kids in the class, there really isn't a community. Lots of cliques. Very little real adult supervision, certainly no mentors. Lots of kids fell into the wrong groups, and it did hurt them later. There was a group there, model UN, etc., who were mostly merit scholars, went to great colleges, and built solid lives after Langley, (my path) but most of the middle kids have not matched their parents. My family could afford private, but thought it elitist and not 'real world'. Spouses family had different views, and went to a top single sex school. So I acquiesced and did the Cathedral thing for our kids. If I had been given the choice again as a 9th grader, and I was but rejected it, I would have gone private.

My takeaway was really strong and self motivated kids will do equally well anywhere. The middle kids are advantaged by the private school attention, and there are a lot of adults watching their back, and classmates who will be friends for life, and the contacts often do matter. Life is 99% ties, and tiebreakers mean more today than ever before. I think for the kid whose parents who are working 80 hour weeks, and the kid who is bright, but not driven, they will wallow in public, and maybe get in with a not great crowd. Yes, elements of private are snooty, but for the most part, it is a sacrifice for most of the parents financially. I think for all but the absolutely shine rock stars (and there are VERY few of these) it is a good investment in building a young adult ready for the world.

The expense of private is indeed large, but my spouse and I concluded that the more important investment was in their teen years than a very expensive college. We are Episcopalians, but I love a quote from the Jesuits "Give me a child until he is 7, and he is mine for life". With inflation and all, maybe its 17 now, but these years, not the college years, are where their foundation is set.

I would do a top private and U Maryland over a public and Duke. I just think if money makes it an either/or, build the foundation while its still malleable.

Our oldest developed a deep and strong sense of service at his private school, and in what is heresy on DCUM, decided that service by the fortunate and strong to the unfortunate or weak is the highest calling. He is at a Service Academy now, and his college is 'free'.

If your kid is motivated, super bright, and knows 'who' he wants to be, public is fine. Very few kids fit this profile. All of the privates do a very good job helping kids on a personal basis find out who they are, and a basically good kid with strong adult figures in small classes is far less likely to fall into a bad crowd.

So you paid for a private school education at what I presume is StA to have your son enter a military academy and then be sent off to war? How does a kid fare at the academies after going to a posh private? Call me a crazy lib but I much sooner pay for a college education than put my child's life on the line.

Another crazy lib here. I found that a very thoughtful and balanced assessment, and my kids have been in privates and publics. It was unusually thoughtful and balanced for DCUM. Then you come along and focus on one tiny piece that has nothing to do with the rest of thread. Her son's decision to go to military academy is absolutely none of your business, so you need to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you pay to be told what you want to hear.

And sometimes, you tell yourself what you want to hear.

I honestly don't understand why anyone who could afford private would send their kids to public. Growing up, I attended a parochial K-8, then the IB program of a "top" public and a private school. There is no question in my mind which was the best experience- not just academically, but all around.

Repeat: My public school is the best as many times as you need to until you bleive it. (Don't look at the college admissions from privates-- they all got in "somehow")

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you pay to be told what you want to hear.

And sometimes, you tell yourself what you want to hear.

I honestly don't understand why anyone who could afford private would send their kids to public. Growing up, I attended a parochial K-8, then the IB program of a "top" public and a private school. There is no question in my mind which was the best experience- not just academically, but all around.

Repeat: My public school is the best as many times as you need to until you bleive it. (Don't look at the college admissions from privates-- they all got in "somehow")

Some of you private school parents have issues. Defensive much?

[Anonymous]

Tuition is more than $30K a year at top private schools - more like $35 now