What do we get for $30k per year?

[Anonymous]

We reevaluate each year. Our kids go to parochial school,so it is not 30k a year, but the cost is substantial for a 200k family. This is our 7th year in the school and we will make the same choice next year. The only downside that I know of at my kid's school is that they take math slower than the county. My DC's also get math supplementation outside. They are happy at least my older one feels that way. My younger child isn't easy to please as DC is very type A so I'm not sure. I think my younger DC would really struggle socially at a public school as DC is a little different.

What I've found about why people have left

1. They move.
2. They were in the power clique and had a falling out or their kid otherwise struggled socially.
3. They were non catholic. I think that is hard one after second grade with First Communion.
4. Their kid struggled academically.
5. They had financial problems.
6. Their kid got into the HGC program in public.

I know one parent who did move and put her child in a highly rated public and has been very disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We reevaluate each year. Our kids go to parochial school,so it is not 30k a year, but the cost is substantial for a 200k family. This is our 7th year in the school and we will make the same choice next year. The only downside that I know of at my kid's school is that they take math slower than the county. My DC's also get math supplementation outside. They are happy at least my older one feels that way. My younger child isn't easy to please as DC is very type A so I'm not sure. I think my younger DC would really struggle socially at a public school as DC is a little different.

What I've found about why people have left

1. They move.
2. They were in the power clique and had a falling out or their kid otherwise struggled socially.
3. They were non catholic. I think that is hard one after second grade with First Communion.
4. Their kid struggled academically.
5. They had financial problems.
6. Their kid got into the HGC program in public.

I know one parent who did move and put her child in a highly rated public and has been very disappointed.

why? about what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you pay to be told what you want to hear.

And sometimes, you tell yourself what you want to hear.

I honestly don't understand why anyone who could afford private would send their kids to public. Growing up, I attended a parochial K-8, then the IB program of a "top" public and a private school. There is no question in my mind which was the best experience- not just academically, but all around.

We moved our kids from private to public and now they're more challenged and happier socially. There are other DCUM posters who have had the same experience, being shocked to find that their public was better than their private. Personally, although my kids were in a "good" private according to DCUM, I can't understand why anyone would pay for a second-rate private school. YMMV, of course, depending on what your kid needs and the quality of your public.

Clearly because they do not think that it is second rate. Many so called non-"Big 3" schools are outstanding. Giving your child an excellent education is not confined to attending a "big 3".

[Anonymous]

DC is in 8th in public and we have been touring privates for high school. They all want recommendations, esp. math, english and a counselor. Spoke to the counselor and she does not know who our kid is. Math teacher has 4 classes of about 30; same with English. This school also sends a lot of kids to TJ, and they are all going to want recommnedations also. I'm dreading this part of the admission process. So if you can afford it, I'd say one benefit of privates is smaller class sizes and the teachers will know who your kids are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is in 8th in public and we have been touring privates for high school. They all want recommendations, esp. math, english and a counselor. Spoke to the counselor and she does not know who our kid is. Math teacher has 4 classes of about 30; same with English. This school also sends a lot of kids to TJ, and they are all going to want recommnedations also. I'm dreading this part of the admission process. So if you can afford it, I'd say one benefit of privates is smaller class sizes and the teachers will know who your kids are.

Yes. Related to this, I feel I know all of the kids in my kids' grade/class, and other parents know mine.

[Anonymous]

Supplement the school recommendation with a scouts, sports and church recommendations. Don't let the admissions staff or friends talk you out of the additional evaluations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Supplement the school recommendation with a scouts, sports and church recommendations. Don't let the admissions staff or friends talk you out of the additional evaluations.

but the privates have their own forms that teachers and counselors must fill out. You're saying just go ahead and supplement these with some of your own choosing? I don't know if it would help much or if the schools even want them, but thank-you for suggesting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We reevaluate each year. Our kids go to parochial school,so it is not 30k a year, but the cost is substantial for a 200k family. This is our 7th year in the school and we will make the same choice next year. The only downside that I know of at my kid's school is that they take math slower than the county. My DC's also get math supplementation outside. They are happy at least my older one feels that way. My younger child isn't easy to please as DC is very type A so I'm not sure. I think my younger DC would really struggle socially at a public school as DC is a little different.

What I've found about why people have left

1. They move.
2. They were in the power clique and had a falling out or their kid otherwise struggled socially.
3. They were non catholic. I think that is hard one after second grade with First Communion.
4. Their kid struggled academically.
5. They had financial problems.
6. Their kid got into the HGC program in public.

I know one parent who did move and put her child in a highly rated public and has been very disappointed.

why? about what?

Academics and parents who are unresponsive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But I suspect the complexity of coordination with last year's teachers in public school, and the sheer number of students under their care, would have made it unlikely they'd follow up just on the mere concern about a possible problem. Also, most public schools would not have the learning specialist resources.

You might be surprised by what goes on in public schools.

Correct. In public school, that's called Response To Intervention...

And learning specialists...in public that's the equivalent of the special education department chairperson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We reevaluate each year. Our kids go to parochial school,so it is not 30k a year, but the cost is substantial for a 200k family. This is our 7th year in the school and we will make the same choice next year. The only downside that I know of at my kid's school is that they take math slower than the county. My DC's also get math supplementation outside. They are happy at least my older one feels that way. My younger child isn't easy to please as DC is very type A so I'm not sure. I think my younger DC would really struggle socially at a public school as DC is a little different.

What I've found about why people have left

1. They move.
2. They were in the power clique and had a falling out or their kid otherwise struggled socially.
3. They were non catholic. I think that is hard one after second grade with First Communion.
4. Their kid struggled academically.
5. They had financial problems.
6. Their kid got into the HGC program in public.

I know one parent who did move and put her child in a highly rated public and has been very disappointed.

why? about what?

Academics and parents who are unresponsive.

Not sure what this means, could you clarify? Was your friend complaining that the other parents weren't as engaged as she was?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCPS high schoolers do not learn how to write. I have one at Wilson and a younger sib at a private. While Wilson offers more diversity and activities, the class sizes are very large and neither Deal or Wilson spent much time on teaching kids how to craft a sentence much less a paragraph. We have had to supplement over the summer for that. Not sure why this is. Also, if your kid is into certain sports they may have an easier time making a team at private. Wilson does have alternative sports a private might not have like crew though.

My experience is very different from this poster's. My child is a fantastic writer because of her DCPS teachers from 4th grade through Deal (just started Wilson so we will see). Her Deal English teachers were all excellent and she did a lot of writing and interesting assignments with them.

As for the posters who say that going private helps with high end colleges...I've heard it said, and actually seen results for friends' kids (Yale, UPenn, UVA), that a great student who makes their way through a big public with high achievement is looked at very favorably by college admission officials. In general, private school kids have all the advantages: tutors, labs, resources, so high achievement should almost be inevitable while a student who makes it through a big public on his/her own steam, is a student you want. Granted, lots of public school kids have their parents throwing money at tutors too. I'm just repeating some broad generalizations that I've heard. I will say that Wilson kids make it to the ivies and other great schools.

I would not waste money on privates. The only thing new that my four bright, well adjusted children would learn there is elitism and how to look down on the less fortunate (while making sandwiches to donate to the shelter).

I agree with this 100%. A family member is in admissions at an Ivy and we've heard him say many, many times that, although they have certain "slots" for legacies or certain favored boarding/private schools (sad, but true), these admits would basically get in no matter what (family connections, money). It isn't the average, hard working, smart kid from private schools here who get these slots -- it is for the silver spoon crowd. So, the hardworking, smart kid without family money/connections is much more likely to be looked upon favorably if he/she graduates from a public school and takes the AP classes and excels at something. The Ivys and lots of schools are a bit weary of the entitled, rich kids of these elite privates assuming that they will get an automatic entree into the school of their choice. Admissions officers want to feel that they have found a kid who has really earned their place. I often wonder if parents who scrimp and save in order to send their kid to a pricey private understand that, to admissions officer, their kid may look like just another entitled rich kid. Colleges don't need/want any more of those.

If children/college students were all alike and interchangeable, then your logic would make sense. But some college applicants are smarter, have done more, and have a higher level of education that they received in a private school. They have more to give to a college, they have a better chance of succeeding at college, and they will finish. People are not all the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all bull shit just move to Virginia or Maryland the schools are better than dc privates

I went to Langley, pre TJ, when it was the top public in Virginia. It was okay. But with 550 kids in the class, there really isn't a community. Lots of cliques. Very little real adult supervision, certainly no mentors. Lots of kids fell into the wrong groups, and it did hurt them later. There was a group there, model UN, etc., who were mostly merit scholars, went to great colleges, and built solid lives after Langley, (my path) but most of the middle kids have not matched their parents. My family could afford private, but thought it elitist and not 'real world'. Spouses family had different views, and went to a top single sex school. So I acquiesced and did the Cathedral thing for our kids. If I had been given the choice again as a 9th grader, and I was but rejected it, I would have gone private.

My takeaway was really strong and self motivated kids will do equally well anywhere. The middle kids are advantaged by the private school attention, and there are a lot of adults watching their back, and classmates who will be friends for life, and the contacts often do matter. Life is 99% ties, and tiebreakers mean more today than ever before. I think for the kid whose parents who are working 80 hour weeks, and the kid who is bright, but not driven, they will wallow in public, and maybe get in with a not great crowd. Yes, elements of private are snooty, but for the most part, it is a sacrifice for most of the parents financially. I think for all but the absolutely shine rock stars (and there are VERY few of these) it is a good investment in building a young adult ready for the world.

The expense of private is indeed large, but my spouse and I concluded that the more important investment was in their teen years than a very expensive college. We are Episcopalians, but I love a quote from the Jesuits "Give me a child until he is 7, and he is mine for life". With inflation and all, maybe its 17 now, but these years, not the college years, are where their foundation is set.

I would do a top private and U Maryland over a public and Duke. I just think if money makes it an either/or, build the foundation while its still malleable.

Our oldest developed a deep and strong sense of service at his private school, and in what is heresy on DCUM, decided that service by the fortunate and strong to the unfortunate or weak is the highest calling. He is at a Service Academy now, and his college is 'free'.

If your kid is motivated, super bright, and knows 'who' he wants to be, public is fine. Very few kids fit this profile. All of the privates do a very good job helping kids on a personal basis find out who they are, and a basically good kid with strong adult figures in small classes is far less likely to fall into a bad crowd.

i agree with this based off of personal experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you pay to be told what you want to hear.

And sometimes, you tell yourself what you want to hear.

I honestly don't understand why anyone who could afford private would send their kids to public. Growing up, I attended a parochial K-8, then the IB program of a "top" public and a private school. There is no question in my mind which was the best experience- not just academically, but all around.

+1000 When you have done both you really see the difference.

[Anonymous]

We send three kids to private school ($90k per year), and I have not regretted that expense for an instant.

I'm not saying that private school is necessary for a good education - I went to public school all my life (including a public magnet school, and a great state education at U.Va) - but if you find a private school that you love (and can afford without unnecessary struggle), I don't think you'll regret spending the money. I would ask yourself what more valuable thing are you saving up for? If you will be under significant financial stress if you send your kids to private school, don't do it. If you can afford it and think it's a better fit for your DC than the other options, do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think all the previous anecdote really says is different kids thrive in different environments. But there isn't anything inherently better about private versus public schools. Both have their advantages and pitfalls. There are really really phenomenal private schools and really phenomenal public schools and mediocre schools of both types.

If your high school is Wilson, there are plenty of kids from Lafayette, Murch, Janney, etc. who go to private middle and/or high school. If you are on the fence about spending huge sums of money in the early grades when you have a great public school nearby just for a guaranteed slot in high school, well that seems kind of silly. Who knows if your kid will thrive in that environment by that time anyway? So many things change by that time.

This is true, I think; neither public nor private schools are inherently better for every kid. We live in a MCPS area that is not JKLM quality, and we have a shy kid with a learning disability, so private has turned out to be better for our DC. The additional recess, PE, music, art and science have been important too. (I think DCPS kids may get more of those than MCPS kids.)

If our child were different, we might have opted for public school. If we lived in a JKLM district we certainly might have.

One thing I have noticed about friends with children in MCPS is that they are increasingly anxious about their kids' school lives as the kids get older and things like HGCs and magnets come into play. In our particular MCPS it seems like a lot of kids trickle out to those programs, or switch to private school later. My friends worry about the social impact on their kids if they don't get selected for those programs.