Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple of boy moms who are ALWAYS bragging about how all the girl babies are so in love with their "little men." Maybe it makes them feel better to think their 11 month old is a ladykiller but I think sexualizing your baby's relationships even in a vague way is weird.

What?

You've never heard a woman say something like, "Oh, little Colton is just so popular with the ladies! All of the little girls come crawling when he arrives at playgroup! They just kiss him and can't keep their hands off of him! I swear, he just has to beat them off with a boppy! We're going to have a lot of trouble in a few years raising a little ladies' man like that!"

That. I think it's weird and kinda gross.

I feel the same way about the proud "he's all boy" moms (and their girl-mom counterparts, though it doesn't really happen as often with moms of girls, I've seen).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple of boy moms who are ALWAYS bragging about how all the girl babies are so in love with their "little men." Maybe it makes them feel better to think their 11 month old is a ladykiller but I think sexualizing your baby's relationships even in a vague way is weird.

What?

You've never heard a woman say something like, "Oh, little Colton is just so popular with the ladies! All of the little girls come crawling when he arrives at playgroup! They just kiss him and can't keep their hands off of him! I swear, he just has to beat them off with a boppy! We're going to have a lot of trouble in a few years raising a little ladies' man like that!"

That. I think it's weird and kinda gross.

I feel the same way about the proud "he's all boy" moms (and their girl-mom counterparts, though it doesn't really happen as often with moms of girls, I've seen).

I often say my son is "all boy." Not because I am proud of it; more because I am amazed at how is that way even though I have made many attempts to be gender-neutral. But he loves dirt, cars and rough housing. It has actually been mind boggling to see how prewired he is to be like that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread took an interesting turn but I guess I just want to clarify that I thought it was just an odd thing to brag about, which she clearly was doing. Also, I personally think she has her head in the sand if she thinks her DD who has been in daycare, preschool, and soon pr K has never heard of "any licensed character". I also thought it was rude bc she was basically putting down the hosts entertainment.

You think the Disney hate is an odd thing to brag about? I FUCKING HATE DISNEY. It is the WORST SHIT EVER. Plenty of people think Disney is teaching the wrong thing to kids, especially little girls. Their main message: you can't/shouldn't go through life without a man.

But I don't mention it at all when I'm talking to people. So I'm not bragging about it or anything. We watch plenty of TV/movies, but no Disney. Ever.

I always thought their underlying theme was growing old sucks

The MAN is the PLAN! Pay attention!

Lol I guess I always see it differently. If you're over 45 or so, you're either an evil witch or stepmother who's ugly and who everybody hates.

Or dead, lots of dead mothers in Disney.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ok call me smug or whatever but I am hoping to be able to keep my now 7 mos old boy away from commercialized characters as much as possible. (Although I think the male characters aren't as bad as the girls -- the female characters have impossible body shapes and beauty.) I suppose Dora is different...not sure bc my last encounter with baby world was pre-Dora

but disney characters, female superheroes, all pinched waists and ridiculous beauty. eff that.

not sure yet what to replace it with, however!

Umm, your child is only 7 MONTHS old!! Come back and talk to us when he's seven YEARS old!!!!

LOL! Seriously, good luck with that!!!

Not the PP but if you don't own a TV, I think the chances that your kid won't recognize a TV character at a birthday party are pretty high. We don't have one because if we did, DH & I would never talk; once it's on, we just zone out of everything else, which clearly not everyone experiences but for those of us who do, it's not some mommy crusade, it's just a lifestyle choice. PP could very well raise her child without TV. It's not that crazy of an idea IMO.

I call bullshit. For a kid in school, even preschool, you're going to get bday party invitations, go to b-day parties, see lunchboxes, backpacks, be exposed to some character books, see the murals in the doctor's offices, see ads in stores and on billboards . . . unless you live in a cave, your kid WILL be exposed to some characters. I'd even go so far as to say a LOT of the characters. My DD comes home talking about all sorts of characters that we never watch/read/play. It will happen. It will.

NP here. In our preschooler's group of friends (which includes a range from 2-5 year old girls and boys) the only characters he has learned from friends are the Sesame Street ones. Even the older girls in the group aren't that into princesses. It does happen.

[Anonymous]

Single dad, if I were you I'd plan to run into that lady exactly one more time, tell her straight out that your beautiful little girl in yellow is going to grow up to be a much better person than her kids who are being raised by a narrow-minded sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok call me smug or whatever but I am hoping to be able to keep my now 7 mos old boy away from commercialized characters as much as possible. (Although I think the male characters aren't as bad as the girls -- the female characters have impossible body shapes and beauty.) I suppose Dora is different...not sure bc my last encounter with baby world was pre-Dora

but disney characters, female superheroes, all pinched waists and ridiculous beauty. eff that.

not sure yet what to replace it with, however!

Umm, your child is only 7 MONTHS old!! Come back and talk to us when he's seven YEARS old!!!!

Don't let others discourage you, PP. I feel strongly that the stories that feed my child's mind should be of the highest possible caliber, so I am one of those crazy moms who limits media consumption and "characters."

I agree it is impossible for most families, because if you stick your kid in daycare then preschool, then public, you lose control over what they are exposed to from friends and from classroom materials. I kept mine with a like-minded nanny, then sent them to a character-free preschool, and they are about to start a character-free elementary program. I know others who have stayed home partly for this reason. I may seem like a silly priority for some, but if you want to, you can make it work.

When my then-3-year-old saw Dora at the white House Egg Roll 2 years ago, she yelled, "Look! It's the girl from my pull-ups!" Only assocition for her. She is now 5 and in the princess phase, but the only Disney princess she knows is Merida (an intentional choice on my part). Other than that, we look for stories about princesses and queens who display bravery, sacrifice, leadership, and--most importantly--ownership of their choices. Her peer group is friends from her school and we have had only one princess birthday party so far. Her brother is right there too.

You can think this is a stupid or wasteful priority, but if you think it's impossible, you're wrong.

What on earth is a character free preschool and public school? If you actually think these exist outside of locking your kid at home you are a NUTCASE.

PP with the 7 month old boy here. I believe Waldorf Schools don't allow all kinds of marketing and commercial stuff in their schools, no Disney, etc.

I know there is a saturation of corporate crap and marketing in our culture but I don't like it so I am going to do my best to keep as much of it away from my kid as possible when he is older. Obv now he is learning to crawl so it doesn't rally matter yet. I like the PP's idea bout searching out stories about princesses and queens who have displayed good qualities, like bravery. How is having an animated stripper body and waiting around for a man to come make your life complete something we want to teach our kids is a feminine ideal?

I don't care what y'all think about me for holding these opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not the PP but if you don't own a TV, I think the chances that your kid won't recognize a TV character at a birthday party are pretty high. We don't have one because if we did, DH & I would never talk; once it's on, we just zone out of everything else, which clearly not everyone experiences but for those of us who do, it's not some mommy crusade, it's just a lifestyle choice. PP could very well raise her child without TV. It's not that crazy of an idea IMO.

No, the chances aren't pretty high. Characters are on clothing, toys, valentine day cards, birthday invitations, gift bags, books at the library, glittery tattoos, hair bows, lunch boxes....It takes one person, telling a child one time, that is Dora or Spiderman and they will know it. Doesn't mean they watch the shows but they will know it is a fictional character.

exactly. it's the same way you probably know what Breaking Bad is, or who Mindy Kaling is, even without TV-- except times 20, because Mindy Kaling isn't on lunchboxes.

Mindy kaling would love to be on a lunchbox! And I would totally buy it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple of boy moms who are ALWAYS bragging about how all the girl babies are so in love with their "little men." Maybe it makes them feel better to think their 11 month old is a ladykiller but I think sexualizing your baby's relationships even in a vague way is weird.

sometimes i go to playdates and i participate in these types of convos bc its awkward for me to be in big groups of ppl i dont know. i dont know what the eff to say sometimes.

this is the equivalent of talking about the weather. inconsequential filler, don't be so riled up about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Went to a birthday party this weekend for a classmates of my DD. They had a character come by as a surprise ("the princess and the frog" princess, the name is escaping me right now) and there was one mom there who made it known her DD had NO idea who that was because she is not exposed to Disney, media, or licensed products. It was such an odd thing to boast about and I found it really rude. She went up to her DD and said "this is just a fun dress up person who have a silly time with." It was so over the top and I couldnt get it out of my mind. Anyone run into a mom whos a little too proud of herself for some random parenting decision? Please share about similar crazies out there!

I wonder if they're a Waldorf family? Waldorf schools are anti-media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a single dad of a toddler, and there is a mother in my building that I try to avoid at all costs. Every single thing she says comes back around to my daughter not having a mother.

"Oh, look at your pretty yellow dress! Your daddy must not know all girls love pink." Then to me, "I know she doesn't have a mother so you have no way of knowing this, but pink is the way to go. Any time there's a pink option, pick that. And if a store doesn't have pink, ask."

She actually believes she's helping me. Never mind that my daughter picked out her own yellow dress when we were in the store.

The woman does this EVERY TIME we run into each other in the elevator. I have taken to giving my daughter piggy back rides and taking the stairs to avoid her.

No, terrible. How do you respond?

[Anonymous]

People saying that of course your kid will know about all the TV characters even if you don't have TV - I grew up without cable and sure, I knew that MTV existed and there were these things called music videos. I occasionally walked past one playing in a store front but when I finally did have cable at age 25 for the first time - I can tell you, I had absolutely no idea growing up. Watching this stuff and just peripherally knowing something out there has a name is not the same at all. I'm so glad I wasn't exposed to that junk as a kid. Good call Dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, now I'm wondering if I came off sounding doubly smug in this situation: I show up at another family's house for a playdate. Other kid starts handing me diapers with Sesame street characters on them. I show them to my kid and say, "Look it's a bird! You haven't met him yet, but he's called Big bird" and then I turned to the parents, "sorry, she doesn't know what these are." (=potential mistake #1) They assumed I meant my kid didn't know what diapers are because we use cloth which is not at all what I meant. I already knew the cloth vs disposable confused might have seemed smug and I tried to clarify that's not what I was saying and my kid knows what a paper diaper looks like, but maybe the "oh, she doesn't know Sesame Street characters" comment could have also offended.

Ufh people - I hope we aren't all so sensitive in real life.

I can't tell if you're serious or joking.

If you're joking...good one.

If not. Lordy. I have NEVER told my 18mo son "you haven't met him yet" or told anybody "he doesn't know who this is." Because he doesn't care, and nobody else cares!!!When ds points at something at the store I say "yes, that's Mickey Mouse!" or if I'm at somebody's house and they hand him a toy I say "look! Spongebob!" And that's that. You really must explain why you have a need to INTRODUCE the character and EXPLAIN to anybody whether your kid is familiar with the Big Bird or not. Really.

[Anonymous]

My SIL was talking about watching Sesame Street with my nephew. And I said,"I love Sesame Street. Nico doesn't like it. He will only watch Dora." She replied dubiously, "Is that educational?"

[Anonymous]

I like the dads who are smug about their wives' natural childbirths. Or their breastfeeding. Smug by proxy.

[Anonymous]

I find all this anti-princess stuff hilarious. I am the person who until having a daughter, had never seen Disney movies until I was around 14 and saw the Little Mermaid, Lion King and Beauty and the Beast. I feel like I missed out- I know what happens in Bambi, but still have never seen it. Snow White, nope. Sleeping Beauty, never. I remember going to see the Wizard of Oz at a birthday party and I had no clue of the plot when all the other girls came dressed in their red sparkly shoes! I still remember how uncomfortable it was not knowing anything about the movie and being the one left out and this was 25 years ago.

Fast forward, my daughter loves princesses and I encourage the books and see nothing wrong with it. A movie is not going to teach her what beauty is, how a husband treats her, teach her morals, etc- that's a parents job! She wears mostly dresses so we don't own the princess bedazzled shirts but I don't put down the parents that buy them.. DD wants to be a doctor when she grows up, is nice to her brother, loves books and is a well adjusted kid...that believes in princesses.

For those Disney haters, please check out Sofia the First for your own good. It's a great show- a blended family with a little girl who wants to do what the boys do, etc. And for the Brave mom, I found that movie dark and scary.