Going home hungry after birthday parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22:03, when my oldest was 3 and his sister was 18m, they were usually in bed by 7:30, and would eat dinner at 5:30. This was their schedule, I just followed their cues. My older one was a bear if he was tired, and my younger one was a bear if her meal was 5m late. If I were taking them to a party 4-6, I would probably be expecting dinner type food, at least for them. Also, if my kids got cake at 5pm with no dinner first, I wouldn't be thrilled about that. By the time we left at 6 and got them home, we would have to try to get dinner into them before getting them in bed, and it would be ugly. I think with older kids, you have much more flexibility, but with toddlers/preschoolers, many go to bed early. In fact, if I thought there was a possibility the party would run long, I would probably bring their PJs, because they may fall asleep in the car on the way home. Just my perspective.

I'm sorry, but did I read this right? PHs for a 3yo for a party that ends at 6? Really?

FWIW, I don't know too many 3yo that are eating pasta salads with Feta cheese crumpled in it, so for the PP who suggested that, I can't see that working. For those who think pizza is "unhealthy", well so is Mac and cheese. It's worse, actually. At least pizza has tomato sauce on it, and you can sweep the grease off the top of the pizza if you're one of "those" people. It still does nothing for your non-dairy contingent. Chicken nuggets? Fine. We're not going for highly nutritious fare here. It's a birthday party. Cake isn't nutritious either. Relax. I'd avoid chicken wings. They're messy and kids who don't like sauce will avoid them. I don't have picky eaters, so I don't really understand the fuss. I put stuff out and they eat it or they don't and I try to keep mess to a minimum, but I know people with picky eaters and to keep the peace I avoid sauces, salads, and things with too many different mixed flavors. And this thread is why I stopped doing parties for kids. No matter what you do you're going to irritate someone. You can't win, no matter how far you bend over backwards or how hard you try. And you won't get thanks, just complaints. My advice? Do what makes you happy and comfortable. At least the you'll have a good time. I did the opposite and tried to make everyone else happy. I was miserable and then got flamed that I didn't do enough. Never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:03, when my oldest was 3 and his sister was 18m, they were usually in bed by 7:30, and would eat dinner at 5:30. This was their schedule, I just followed their cues. My older one was a bear if he was tired, and my younger one was a bear if her meal was 5m late. If I were taking them to a party 4-6, I would probably be expecting dinner type food, at least for them. Also, if my kids got cake at 5pm with no dinner first, I wouldn't be thrilled about that. By the time we left at 6 and got them home, we would have to try to get dinner into them before getting them in bed, and it would be ugly. I think with older kids, you have much more flexibility, but with toddlers/preschoolers, many go to bed early. In fact, if I thought there was a possibility the party would run long, I would probably bring their PJs, because they may fall asleep in the car on the way home. Just my perspective.

I'm sorry, but did I read this right? PHs for a 3yo for a party that ends at 6? Really?

FWIW, I don't know too many 3yo that are eating pasta salads with Feta cheese crumpled in it, so for the PP who suggested that, I can't see that working. For those who think pizza is "unhealthy", well so is Mac and cheese. It's worse, actually. At least pizza has tomato sauce on it, and you can sweep the grease off the top of the pizza if you're one of "those" people. It still does nothing for your non-dairy contingent. Chicken nuggets? Fine. We're not going for highly nutritious fare here. It's a birthday party. Cake isn't nutritious either. Relax. I'd avoid chicken wings. They're messy and kids who don't like sauce will avoid them. I don't have picky eaters, so I don't really understand the fuss. I put stuff out and they eat it or they don't and I try to keep mess to a minimum, but I know people with picky eaters and to keep the peace I avoid sauces, salads, and things with too many different mixed flavors. And this thread is why I stopped doing parties for kids. No matter what you do you're going to irritate someone. You can't win, no matter how far you bend over backwards or how hard you try. And you won't get thanks, just complaints. My advice? Do what makes you happy and comfortable. At least the you'll have a good time. I did the opposite and tried to make everyone else happy. I was miserable and then got flamed that I didn't do enough. Never again.

I'm not the pp but I have a 3yo and a 1yo. Our kids often fall asleep in the car if we are driving after 6pm. We usually carry them into the house and they stay asleep.

Do people forget what it is like to have toddlers and babies?!?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do people forget what it is like to have toddlers and babies?!?!?

Have people forgotten that the world does not revolve around your children's sleep schedules? Please, model good guest behavior for your children. Be gracious and thankful for the party and whatever treats/food have been given. You and your children are not going be ruined by one late meal or bedtime.

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP said there wasn't food - just that they left hungry. maybe there was food but it wasn't what OPs family eats or they eat a lot of food. It many not have been over a meal time either as OP didn't specify the time.

As for the 3 yr old Mine is in bed between 6:30 and 7 so I would expect food at a party from 4-6, she eats dinner about 5pm. If you weren't serving dinner then it would be important to know that so we could feed her before we came.

If the party runs between 12 and 1 I expect lunch. If the party runs after 5 I'd expect dinner. Any other party times (9:30-11:30, 10-12, 1-3, 2-4, 3-5) I expect snacks / cake only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP said there wasn't food - just that they left hungry. maybe there was food but it wasn't what OPs family eats or they eat a lot of food. It many not have been over a meal time either as OP didn't specify the time.

As for the 3 yr old Mine is in bed between 6:30 and 7 so I would expect food at a party from 4-6, she eats dinner about 5pm. If you weren't serving dinner then it would be important to know that so we could feed her before we came.

If the party runs between 12 and 1 I expect lunch. If the party runs after 5 I'd expect dinner. Any other party times (9:30-11:30, 10-12, 1-3, 2-4, 3-5) I expect snacks / cake only.

OP here. I an confirming that there was no food served other than cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Do people forget what it is like to have toddlers and babies?!?!?

Have people forgotten that the world does not revolve around your children's sleep schedules? Please, model good guest behavior for your children. Be gracious and thankful for the party and whatever treats/food have been given. You and your children are not going be ruined by one late meal or bedtime.

We are not talking about adult affairs that do not revolve around your child's sleep schedule.

We are talking about a party for a young child with other young guests (under age 5). Plus the post was not about sleep. It was about not feeding your guests food.

[Anonymous]

only read about three pages of the thread, but what I've read is a little appalling to me. Since when are guests so demanding? Be grateful for what you are offered, and if it's only crafts and games or something, then be grateful for that. No child should be taken to a birthday party so hungry that they will fall apart if there isn't food (If that is the case, ask the hostess in advance if there will be food).
Snacking has gotten so out of hand. Kids expect to be fed almost continuously now. How is this helping address our obesity issue? I never count on a birthday party to be dinner or lunch for my kids. (they're still hungry after a slice of pizza anyway.) Talk to the host beforehand if it's so important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Do people forget what it is like to have toddlers and babies?!?!?

Have people forgotten that the world does not revolve around your children's sleep schedules? Please, model good guest behavior for your children. Be gracious and thankful for the party and whatever treats/food have been given. You and your children are not going be ruined by one late meal or bedtime.

We are not talking about adult affairs that do not revolve around your child's sleep schedule.

We are talking about a party for a young child with other young guests (under age 5). Plus the post was not about sleep. It was about not feeding your guests food.

The first quote was taken from a post about kids sleeping on the way home from parties.

Still, the general sentiment stands. People should not complain about parties. If you are going to be a critical guest, then simply decline. No one is forcing you to go. If you value your kid's super consistent eating/sleeping time above children's social events, then don't go.

[Anonymous]

My 4 y.o. went to a party that was 12:30-1:45. There was a 45 min activity and then 30 mins in the party room. There were 7 kids. All they had in the party room was cake. Luckily I had feed DC before we left, bc I was feeding my younger child (who was staying home), but I was really surprised. Not horrified, not "steaming" but surprised. 1 pizza would have covered all 7 kids.

We also had 30 mins in the party room but since there was only cake, it took less than 10 mins and then all the kids were basically sitting around with nothing to do. I dont think the parents were being cheap, but I do think it was poor planning, especially bc there was no indication that food wouldnt be served. It really was just lucky that he ate ahead of time, bc I assumed there would be food at the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, DCUMers.

I'm planning a 3 YO birthday party at my house from 4-6pm. We're on a budget so we tried to limit the number of kids and parents; however, because we invited whole families, we'll end up with around 8 3 year olds and various younger siblings and all the parents. I was planning on serving cake, snacks (cheese, crackers, vegetables, chips), and drinks. Are you all saying you'd expect a full dinner? We don't usually eat until after 7 so I never thought people would want a lot of food at this time (we couldn't do 2-4 because of nap schedules). We rarely eat pizza because our kids won't eat it, and I can't eat it. DC won't eat sandwiches except peanut butter, and I don't know enough about the health issues of the invitees to serve PB at a party anyway. In addition to not wanting to cater an entire meal, I'm afraid if we serve a real meal, there won't be time for the kids to play.

Thoughts?

OP, my DH and I used to eat late (after 8). but my kid is a mess if she isn't in bed by 7:30. If we went to your party and stayed until the end, we'd probably get home at 630 or 6:45. We'd then ahve to scramble to (unexpectedly) put dinner together and she wouldn't finish until 7:30, and wouldn't be in bed until 8:15 or 8:30. I had planned to have a flexible, go with the flow baby, and didn't get one!

If I did go to your party and saw there wouldn't be dinner, I'd definitely leave early - plan for hungry kids with early bedtimes to be gone by 5. That being said, you don't need to have a big catered affair - you can just have something there that could be turned into dinner. In addition to snacks, some chicken nuggets, quesadillas, pasta salad like others have mentioned. You don't have to limit what you serve to what your children like, sicne they'll eat dinner anyway (and even if they weren't, it's okay to serve foods your kids don't like - good hosting is about making your guests comfortable.)

[Anonymous]

I am hosting a 4 y.o. bday party from 4:30-6:30, including dinner. It a pajama party, so if the kids fall asleep on the way home, the parents can put them right in bed. If the parents think 6:30 is too late, they can take them home earlier or they dont have to come, though we'd love them to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am hosting a 4 y.o. bday party from 4:30-6:30, including dinner. It a pajama party, so if the kids fall asleep on the way home, the parents can put them right in bed. If the parents think 6:30 is too late, they can take them home earlier or they dont have to come, though we'd love them to be there.

4:30-6:30 is totally fine as long as you are serving dinner. The kids can fall asleep in the car. Our kids fall asleep in the car all the time. If they didn't have dinner and it was way past dinner and bed time, the car ride would be unpleasant to say the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, DCUMers.

I'm planning a 3 YO birthday party at my house from 4-6pm. We're on a budget so we tried to limit the number of kids and parents; however, because we invited whole families, we'll end up with around 8 3 year olds and various younger siblings and all the parents. I was planning on serving cake, snacks (cheese, crackers, vegetables, chips), and drinks. Are you all saying you'd expect a full dinner? We don't usually eat until after 7 so I never thought people would want a lot of food at this time (we couldn't do 2-4 because of nap schedules). We rarely eat pizza because our kids won't eat it, and I can't eat it. DC won't eat sandwiches except peanut butter, and I don't know enough about the health issues of the invitees to serve PB at a party anyway. In addition to not wanting to cater an entire meal, I'm afraid if we serve a real meal, there won't be time for the kids to play.

Thoughts?

My kids are 4 and 6, and they are hungry for dinner at 5:00, so this is smack in the middle of when they usually eat. There are lots of cheap options for food. Chicken nuggets, sandwiches, mac and cheese?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:only read about three pages of the thread, but what I've read is a little appalling to me. Since when are guests so demanding? Be grateful for what you are offered, and if it's only crafts and games or something, then be grateful for that. No child should be taken to a birthday party so hungry that they will fall apart if there isn't food (If that is the case, ask the hostess in advance if there will be food).
Snacking has gotten so out of hand. Kids expect to be fed almost continuously now. How is this helping address our obesity issue? I never count on a birthday party to be dinner or lunch for my kids. (they're still hungry after a slice of pizza anyway.) Talk to the host beforehand if it's so important to you.

I don't think guests are being demanding or ungrateful, but there is something gracious and thoughtful about being a host that provides nourishment for your guests. And there is something special about breaking bread and sharing food with your guests. I always try to provide enough food for everyone - parents and kids. People are correct that if you can't afford the food, then maybe scale back on the number of guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4 y.o. went to a party that was 12:30-1:45. There was a 45 min activity and then 30 mins in the party room. There were 7 kids. All they had in the party room was cake. Luckily I had feed DC before we left, bc I was feeding my younger child (who was staying home), but I was really surprised. Not horrified, not "steaming" but surprised. 1 pizza would have covered all 7 kids.

We also had 30 mins in the party room but since there was only cake, it took less than 10 mins and then all the kids were basically sitting around with nothing to do. I dont think the parents were being cheap, but I do think it was poor planning, especially bc there was no indication that food wouldnt be served. It really was just lucky that he ate ahead of time, bc I assumed there would be food at the party.

My kids party was similar to this but they didn't go into the party room until 1:30. I didn't "choose" the time frame it was the only one the place had available. I think that is way to late to "wait" for lunch so I served a snack (fruit,cheese, crackers) to the kids before the cake. I also put a note in the invitation with this information. I hope parents read it and fed their kids lunch first. Not much more one can do to address the food issue. I've done pizza in the past and find I end up paying 50-60$ for pizza for the kids and parents and we end up taking most of it home and it goes to waste(kids-party 15-20 kids plus adults)