Going home hungry after birthday parties

[Anonymous]

Haven't read the responses but my kid had a party from 3-4:30pm. We served cake and juice boxes, and the parents were offered cake. Is this a crime?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the responses but my kid had a party from 3-4:30pm. We served cake and juice boxes, and the parents were offered cake. Is this a crime?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, DCUMers.

I'm planning a 3 YO birthday party at my house from 4-6pm. We're on a budget so we tried to limit the number of kids and parents; however, because we invited whole families, we'll end up with around 8 3 year olds and various younger siblings and all the parents. I was planning on serving cake, snacks (cheese, crackers, vegetables, chips), and drinks. Are you all saying you'd expect a full dinner? We don't usually eat until after 7 so I never thought people would want a lot of food at this time (we couldn't do 2-4 because of nap schedules). We rarely eat pizza because our kids won't eat it, and I can't eat it. DC won't eat sandwiches except peanut butter, and I don't know enough about the health issues of the invitees to serve PB at a party anyway. In addition to not wanting to cater an entire meal, I'm afraid if we serve a real meal, there won't be time for the kids to play.

Thoughts?

I think your plan is fine, but because of the hours of the party, I would let the people coming know what you'll be serving. They can then plan accordingly. I think anything is fine, food-wise, as long as you let people know. I have not been shy to ask if there will be food at a party, just so I know how to plan. Also, when I'm hosting a party, I make sure to tell the parents what my plan is.

[Anonymous]

4-6pm - I would not expect dinner. I would think more hors d'oeuvre food. Cheese, crackers, veggie tray etc. ONE night of my kid eating that for dinner does not mean she will never get into an Ivy.

We did serve lunch for DD's 2nd bday party. It was a small party just 2 other families. I checked with the parents before about allergies. One of the kiddos has milk and eggs. His mom brought a treat for him so he would have something when we had cake. I made "kid-friendly" but not kid specific food. We served BBQ chicken legs, mac n' cheese and green beans. I put out chips and salsa for hors d'oeuvre.

[Anonymous]

Wow! For a party that is not drop-off, I definitely consider it a party for kids AND adults, since the parents will be standing around. I definitely want my adults to feel welcomed and comfortable.
I too have been surprised at many (most) parties I've taken my 3-year-old to. Seems we adults are never invited to help ourselves to any food, or even have any cake. If others hadn't pointed it out here, I wouldn't normally complain about it, but it seems so weird for us adults to just be standing around the outside of the room, doing nothing, while the kids are chowing down. If I've ventured to get a piece of cake or a handful of goldfish, I'm always self-conscious, like I'm not supposed to.
I will make sure that my guests realize they are a part of the party too, and to please feel at home (though we won't be doing it at home this year).

I also don't get it that people feel they have to serve adults and children different food. My daughter has always been served the same food as us at home. I have not been impressed by any of the kid's menus I've ever seen, and am glad that we aren't limited by that.

I'm currently planning a party for my soon-to-be 4-year-old. It's been helpful reading some of the ideas of food to serve (beyond pizza).
We'll definitely serve enough food for a meal, even though party is 1-3, likely after everyone has had lunch. Just trying to get more ideas for what I can serve that is somewhat inspiring.

[Anonymous]

So glad I had pizza/cake and two types of drinks for my child's b-day party. The parents were invited to help themselves to pizza and drinks. I still had one pizza leftover.

13:34 - what food will you be serving. I am starting to plan my younger child's party and will be having it at home - during lunch time.

[Anonymous]

Similar to this PP, we had a party at a park where we had to bring everything in on foot for a LONG way, so I had the party from 2-4 on purpose so that we wouldn't have to bring in a ton of food. We still served watermelon, pretzels/other munchees, juice/milk/water, and cake. Drop off so no parents.

Well, you chose such a place -- no one forced you. So don't get carried away patting yourself on the back for providing some snacks. Big deal.

WTF lady? So, because she didn't trek into the park with a piece of lasagna and a steamed lobster tail for your kid to eat at 2:30pm, she sucks at life?

What strikes me about the party at the park is that you had to walk a LONG way...for a drop-off party, isn't that silly? So parents walk a LONG way, drop their kid off, walk a LONG way back to the car, sit in their cars for an hour and then trek back to the party site? Why not just invite the parents to stay? Or did you provide transit for all the kids?

Wow, park PP back again. It was Glen Echo Park, for those who are familiar, and one of us was at the parking area with balloons waiting for the kids to be dropped off. It wouldn't have been that long to walk but my point was that it would be a long way to walk with, say, a lasagna and steamed lobster tails (good one, PP.) So I guess you could say we provided transit? And I invited just kids (kids were all 6) because I have LOVED that parties are drop-off now and wanted to return the favor for the other parents who have had them. I never just wait in the car - my husband and I have played tennis during dropoff parties before, or I run some kid-free errands (heaven!)

And I chose "such a place" so it would be FUN for the kids, despite the lack of heavy lunch or dinner food. And it was between 2 and 4, FFS - that is snack time at my house, and I served snack food. And cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Similar to this PP, we had a party at a park where we had to bring everything in on foot for a LONG way, so I had the party from 2-4 on purpose so that we wouldn't have to bring in a ton of food. We still served watermelon, pretzels/other munchees, juice/milk/water, and cake. Drop off so no parents.

Well, you chose such a place -- no one forced you. So don't get carried away patting yourself on the back for providing some snacks. Big deal.

WTF lady? So, because she didn't trek into the park with a piece of lasagna and a steamed lobster tail for your kid to eat at 2:30pm, she sucks at life?

What strikes me about the party at the park is that you had to walk a LONG way...for a drop-off party, isn't that silly? So parents walk a LONG way, drop their kid off, walk a LONG way back to the car, sit in their cars for an hour and then trek back to the party site? Why not just invite the parents to stay? Or did you provide transit for all the kids?

Wow, park PP back again. It was Glen Echo Park, for those who are familiar, and one of us was at the parking area with balloons waiting for the kids to be dropped off. It wouldn't have been that long to walk but my point was that it would be a long way to walk with, say, a lasagna and steamed lobster tails (good one, PP.) So I guess you could say we provided transit? And I invited just kids (kids were all 6) because I have LOVED that parties are drop-off now and wanted to return the favor for the other parents who have had them. I never just wait in the car - my husband and I have played tennis during dropoff parties before, or I run some kid-free errands (heaven!)

And I chose "such a place" so it would be FUN for the kids, despite the lack of heavy lunch or dinner food. And it was between 2 and 4, FFS - that is snack time at my house, and I served snack food. And cake.

On the drop-off front, I think that's fine then - I would have just been annoyed to have to hike somewhere to drop my kid off. And no one expects a meal between 2-4 anyway.

[Anonymous]

My kids always go home hungry because they have Celiac. Welcome to my world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids always go home hungry because they have Celiac. Welcome to my world.

Mine too, although I always bring food for him. At the last party we went to, they served cake and juice only. I had brought some GF pizza, chips and a cupcake for him, but I didn't let him eat anything except the cupcake since no one else had any real food. He asked to leave on the early side so he could eat something besides cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 4 y.o. went to a party that was 12:30-1:45. There was a 45 min activity and then 30 mins in the party room. There were 7 kids. All they had in the party room was cake. Luckily I had feed DC before we left, bc I was feeding my younger child (who was staying home), but I was really surprised. Not horrified, not "steaming" but surprised. 1 pizza would have covered all 7 kids.

We also had 30 mins in the party room but since there was only cake, it took less than 10 mins and then all the kids were basically sitting around with nothing to do. I dont think the parents were being cheap, but I do think it was poor planning, especially bc there was no indication that food wouldnt be served. It really was just lucky that he ate ahead of time, bc I assumed there would be food at the party.

My kids party was similar to this but they didn't go into the party room until 1:30. I didn't "choose" the time frame it was the only one the place had available. I think that is way to late to "wait" for lunch so I served a snack (fruit,cheese, crackers) to the kids before the cake. I also put a note in the invitation with this information. I hope parents read it and fed their kids lunch first. Not much more one can do to address the food issue. I've done pizza in the past and find I end up paying 50-60$ for pizza for the kids and parents and we end up taking most of it home and it goes to waste(kids-party 15-20 kids plus adults)

Even if most of it goes to waste, a few at the party probably ate it. I think you should continue to offer.

[Anonymous]

Food is a big part of any party, it just makes it more enjoyable. You don't need a ton of imagination to put out a platter of cut up fruit, cheese and crackers, crudites, rollup sandwiches, a baked mac n' cheese casserole, meatballs in a crockpot, mini-quiches or whatever. Get stuff your family would eat anyway and then use the leftovers for dinner or the next few lunches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:only read about three pages of the thread, but what I've read is a little appalling to me. Since when are guests so demanding? Be grateful for what you are offered, and if it's only crafts and games or something, then be grateful for that. No child should be taken to a birthday party so hungry that they will fall apart if there isn't food (If that is the case, ask the hostess in advance if there will be food).
Snacking has gotten so out of hand. Kids expect to be fed almost continuously now. How is this helping address our obesity issue? I never count on a birthday party to be dinner or lunch for my kids. (they're still hungry after a slice of pizza anyway.) Talk to the host beforehand if it's so important to you.

ITA. These grubby, chubby guests are not to be believed for their entitled attitude!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am hosting a 4 y.o. bday party from 4:30-6:30, including dinner. It a pajama party, so if the kids fall asleep on the way home, the parents can put them right in bed. If the parents think 6:30 is too late, they can take them home earlier or they dont have to come, though we'd love them to be there.

I think the key part is "they don't have to come." Wow! As radical a thought as it may be, hosts may have to pick their times that are <GASP!> inconvenient to some of their guests. Espeically if there is a range in the guests ages. Even if they are all the same age, (like the same class in a school) they may still <GASP!> be on different schedules. This may mean <THE HORROR! THE HORROR!> that you and your precious may have to accomodate to someone else's ideas--whether that's not serving food at the hour you like to eat or whether that's being offered food you don't agree with or whether that's having to walk from the car! I think it's reasonable for hosts to do what suits them and their family. I don't understand how guests can believe the party-planning can revolve around them.... Honestly, stay home. Start an angry thread about how no one invites you parties.

[Anonymous]

"
My kids party was similar to this but they didn't go into the party room until 1:30. I didn't "choose" the time frame it was the only one the place had available. I think that is way to late to "wait" for lunch so I served a snack (fruit,cheese, crackers) to the kids before the cake. I also put a note in the invitation with this information. I hope parents read it and fed their kids lunch first. Not much more one can do to address the food issue. I've done pizza in the past and find I end up paying 50-60$ for pizza for the kids and parents and we end up taking most of it home and it goes to waste(kids-party 15-20 kids plus adults)"


PP Your birthday party was during lunch time. You should've provided lunch for those who were ok with late lunch. Your party planning puts some of your guest in awkward position of having to feed kids early. And if your party involved physical exertion potentially making kids sick.
Every party some leftover are to be expected, that should not be the reason not to serve. I've alway believed its best to have more than less for guests.