Sorry but this American college admissions "rat race" is stupid ...

[Anonymous]

Wow, so much jealously and generalization on this thread. To many of you, if a kid is at an ivy or other top school, you automatically label them as a "rat" and imply they have "mental health problems" and only care about "prestige" and are somehow overly competitive with their peers and unkind?

Do you even hear yourselves?

You all sound really pathetic and really jealous. Stop comparing yourself to others and live your best life. That's what my ivy kid is doing. She doesn't fit any of the descriptors above that you all are listing. Sorry to burst your little story.... but there are plenty of fully well adjusted happy, kind, non competitive kids at ivies who are doing good for this world and for you. Stop trying to tear them down - it really makes you look bad.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It sucks except if you win. Then it’s great. There is nothing globally that is like the education, connections and level of services of all kinds available at the tippy-top of American higher education.

No, it sucks period. The reason that it sucks is the supply/demand imbalance and the simple fact that there are some whom believe that there are only a small number of schools which "matter" and everything else is a failure. That entire mental model is ridiculous with anything deeper than a surface evaluation because you will quickly realize that this is a demand/ego driven belief rather than any actual difference in quality.

There is a difference in quality. Stanford is better than Arizona State. This is true even though you can succeed in spite of attending Arizona State and even though you may not succeed in spite of attending Stanford.

That is true, Stanford is measurably better than Arizona State. But, Stanford isn't measurably better than Santa Clara especially for undergraduate education.

My suspicion is that Santa Clara is just as good as Stanford for tech majors but wouldn't be as good for other majors.

The quality of the professors and of the other students is certainly going to be higher at any elite school than the majority of state schools.

The real point is that schools are better grouped into buckets, you cannot really stack rank them in any manner that is definitive. And, the top bucket is much larger than many people believe.

In terms of educational quality it may be true that the top bucket is really 100 colleges rather than 20. But in terms of bang for the buck, I certainly made distinctions between top 10 and 50-100. I was prepared to pay full price for top 10, but full price for private or out of state public ranked 11-100, forget it.

I agree that there is a difference between the top 10 and say 50-100. But there really isn't a significant difference between the top 10 and the top 40.

+1

My kid is at a school ranked ~40 (was lower 30s before USNWR changed the ranking methodology recently and eliminated things like class size--why I don't get). of their 15+ friends, ALL of them were WL/Sophmore start at a minimum of 1 T25 school. Most it was 2-3 T25 schools that had WL/Sophmore started them. The school is filled with really smart kids who didn't "win the lottery" but could have at many T25 schools.

Exactly. Between R1s and SLACs there are probaly 50-70 schools where the overall student body is more alike than different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:There are two ways you can go about it

1. Prioritize T20 admission from a young age. Tailor everything towards that goal. Push ahead even if student is not interested in the thing they were doing, because it would look good to colleges. You would have a tough 5-6 years.

2. Prioritize academics and doing well in high school, regardless of how it looks to colleges. Do things you like and drop things you do not like. Take classes you like, but do emphasize rigor in all subjects, not because colleges like to see that, but because they are building blocks and a strong foundation is essential.

T20 admission is a low probability anyway. Even if you choose option #1, you might not end up at T20. That seemed to be a bad tradeoff to me.

If you choose option #2, even if your overall chances of getting into T20 are lower than if you choose #1, you win either way because (a) you did what you loved and if ended up not going to T20, you have that happy HS years (b) if you did end up at T20, you just got a bonus. Heads I win, tails I don't lose.

That is how we made the decision. Turns out when you do things that you do love, it is easier for others to see it as well. It showed up in how my son got voted to the top position in the team and most likely how the teachers wrote the recommendation letters. Ended at HYP.

There is actually a third option, which is to not even allow your kid to apply to Ivy-plus schools (or other similarly-priced schools), even if they have the stats and the money for them. That is what we did, and we’re happy with the results so far.

What if that's where your kid wants to attend? If you can afford it, why not allow them to apply?

Because if you don’t take it off the table altogether, then as soon as their friends start hiring private counselors (8th grade, for us, though the friends in question were a grade or two ahead), everything becomes “Larla says her counselor says Harvard wants …”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It's a horrible 5 percenter obsession. Most parents don't have the luxury of this.
I would love to sign up as an alumni interviewer for my school and ask kids if they used a college coach or consultant and if so why did their parents think they weren't strong enough on their own.

They have a survey for admitted students, the vast majority of HYP admits had college coaches and consultants. A large percentage said that they committed plagiarism at least once in high school.

And 40% of Stanford students are disabled and require accommodations. That explains a lot of things.

If by vast majority, you mean ~25%

You assume these people don’t lie? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so much jealously and generalization on this thread. To many of you, if a kid is at an ivy or other top school, you automatically label them as a "rat" and imply they have "mental health problems" and only care about "prestige" and are somehow overly competitive with their peers and unkind?

Do you even hear yourselves?

You all sound really pathetic and really jealous. Stop comparing yourself to others and live your best life. That's what my ivy kid is doing. She doesn't fit any of the descriptors above that you all are listing. Sorry to burst your little story.... but there are plenty of fully well adjusted happy, kind, non competitive kids at ivies who are doing good for this world and for you. Stop trying to tear them down - it really makes you look bad.

I'm sorry you feel defensive or personally attacked. Nobody intended that. There is much wisdom on this thread if you can look past those feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so much jealously and generalization on this thread. To many of you, if a kid is at an ivy or other top school, you automatically label them as a "rat" and imply they have "mental health problems" and only care about "prestige" and are somehow overly competitive with their peers and unkind?

These are wide spread issues. Your kid is not one of them doesn't mean they are not common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sucks except if you win. Then it’s great. There is nothing globally that is like the education, connections and level of services of all kinds available at the tippy-top of American higher education.

There is no winning. "If you win, you're still a rat." Participating and performing for the rat race teaches our kids that this is the only way to be successful. They will take that mentality to college, their first job, their first relationship, they will seek out careers/jobs that are prestigious and pay money, they'll seek out partners with status who measure their worth that way to and inculcate their children simlarly, they'll learn to value things for their prestige, not fit. They'll measure their own worth, their life and themselves as ranked.

Mic drop. Hard words to hear but very true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so much jealously and generalization on this thread. To many of you, if a kid is at an ivy or other top school, you automatically label them as a "rat" and imply they have "mental health problems" and only care about "prestige" and are somehow overly competitive with their peers and unkind?

Do you even hear yourselves?

You all sound really pathetic and really jealous. Stop comparing yourself to others and live your best life. That's what my ivy kid is doing. She doesn't fit any of the descriptors above that you all are listing. Sorry to burst your little story.... but there are plenty of fully well adjusted happy, kind, non competitive kids at ivies who are doing good for this world and for you. Stop trying to tear them down - it really makes you look bad.

Totally agree with you. I have a well adjusted, doesn’t fit any of these descriptors son at an Ivy who is happy and thriving. Not defensive or taking it personally but just reminder there are many happy kids achieving a lot and doing well despite how all you think & feel!

[Anonymous]

It’s the world we live in. Youth sports. Colleges. NIL money. Celebrity. It’s all about your Gucci bag and your bail condo. Better to not play and live a more authentic life. Your kid will be better off for it.

[Anonymous]

It always seems to be like the nice normal well adjusted kids go to the state flagships and less competitive privates whereas the weirdos go to the elites and ivies.

[Anonymous]

People who are stressing themselves suffer from envy. That is its own sweet punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the world we live in. Youth sports. Colleges. NIL money. Celebrity. It’s all about your Gucci bag and your bail condo. Better to not play and live a more authentic life. Your kid will be better off for it.

+100

[Anonymous]

This is such a misguided thread.

Sour grapes anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a misguided thread.

Sour grapes anyone?

+1 pure comedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the world we live in. Youth sports. Colleges. NIL money. Celebrity. It’s all about your Gucci bag and your bail condo. Better to not play and live a more authentic life. Your kid will be better off for it.

Is your "bail condo" where you stay when you have enough money to post bond to get out of jail but not enough to go home? For white collar criminals, I presume.