If your child was rejected from their top choice, where did they end up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin

DD's friends from HS
Rejected Cornell, attending Pitt
Rejected Columbia, attending CMU
Rejected MIT, attending Northeastern
Rejected Georgetown, attending Case Western
Rejected Barnard, attending Bryn Mawr
Rejected Penn, attending Wesleyan
Rejected Brown, attending Amherst
Rejected Davidson, attending Case Western
Rejected Stanford, attending WashU
Rejected Oxford, attending St John's College

Friends at college
Rejected Amherst, attending Oberlin
Rejected Brown, attending Oberlin
Rejected Harvard, attending Oberlin
Rejected Wellesley, attending Oberlin
Rejected Northwestern, attending Oberlin
Rejected NYU, attending Oberlin
Rejected Dartmouth, attending Oberlin
Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin
Rejected Williams, attending Oberlin

How the bloody heck do you know this about your kid's COLLEGE friends?

I am super involved in the lives of my college kids and talk to them almost every day but i would have zero knowledge about where 10 of their college friends were rejected from college. That is just really, really, really weird.

We talk a lot, I work at a university, and my kid wants to work in admissions for a bit after graduating. She and her friends discuss it at times or she mentions that it comes up in conversation. Every kid seems happy at Oberlin, even if it took a couple semesters for some. A handful of her friends also ED'd to Oberlin, but a lot of Midwestern LACs entice kids with merit even if they weren't the first choice.

NP - I am so, so tired of posters going out of their way to remark on how bizarre, weird, or horrible it is to know the details of our college kids' lives. A lot of us talk to our kids every day - what do you think we are talking about? My 19 year old talks my ear off about her every thought, what's going on with her friends, etc. and I listen. This was a big theme on the sorority thread too. Just stop it.

I talk to my kid daily but knowing the schools that 10 of her college friends were rejected from and being able to list then out there is just REALLY WEIRD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin

DD's friends from HS
Rejected Cornell, attending Pitt
Rejected Columbia, attending CMU
Rejected MIT, attending Northeastern
Rejected Georgetown, attending Case Western
Rejected Barnard, attending Bryn Mawr
Rejected Penn, attending Wesleyan
Rejected Brown, attending Amherst
Rejected Davidson, attending Case Western
Rejected Stanford, attending WashU
Rejected Oxford, attending St John's College

Friends at college
Rejected Amherst, attending Oberlin
Rejected Brown, attending Oberlin
Rejected Harvard, attending Oberlin
Rejected Wellesley, attending Oberlin
Rejected Northwestern, attending Oberlin
Rejected NYU, attending Oberlin
Rejected Dartmouth, attending Oberlin
Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin
Rejected Williams, attending Oberlin

How the bloody heck do you know this about your kid's COLLEGE friends?

I am super involved in the lives of my college kids and talk to them almost every day but i would have zero knowledge about where 10 of their college friends were rejected from college. That is just really, really, really weird.

We talk a lot, I work at a university, and my kid wants to work in admissions for a bit after graduating. She and her friends discuss it at times or she mentions that it comes up in conversation. Every kid seems happy at Oberlin, even if it took a couple semesters for some. A handful of her friends also ED'd to Oberlin, but a lot of Midwestern LACs entice kids with merit even if they weren't the first choice.

NP - I am so, so tired of posters going out of their way to remark on how bizarre, weird, or horrible it is to know the details of our college kids' lives. A lot of us talk to our kids every day - what do you think we are talking about? My 19 year old talks my ear off about her every thought, what's going on with her friends, etc. and I listen. This was a big theme on the sorority thread too. Just stop it.

I talk to my kid daily but knowing the schools that 10 of her college friends were rejected from and being able to list then out there is just REALLY WEIRD.

Your feeling it necessary to make this comment is weirder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin

DD's friends from HS
Rejected Cornell, attending Pitt
Rejected Columbia, attending CMU
Rejected MIT, attending Northeastern
Rejected Georgetown, attending Case Western
Rejected Barnard, attending Bryn Mawr
Rejected Penn, attending Wesleyan
Rejected Brown, attending Amherst
Rejected Davidson, attending Case Western
Rejected Stanford, attending WashU
Rejected Oxford, attending St John's College

Friends at college
Rejected Amherst, attending Oberlin
Rejected Brown, attending Oberlin
Rejected Harvard, attending Oberlin
Rejected Wellesley, attending Oberlin
Rejected Northwestern, attending Oberlin
Rejected NYU, attending Oberlin
Rejected Dartmouth, attending Oberlin
Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin
Rejected Williams, attending Oberlin

How the bloody heck do you know this about your kid's COLLEGE friends?

I am super involved in the lives of my college kids and talk to them almost every day but i would have zero knowledge about where 10 of their college friends were rejected from college. That is just really, really, really weird.

We talk a lot, I work at a university, and my kid wants to work in admissions for a bit after graduating. She and her friends discuss it at times or she mentions that it comes up in conversation. Every kid seems happy at Oberlin, even if it took a couple semesters for some. A handful of her friends also ED'd to Oberlin, but a lot of Midwestern LACs entice kids with merit even if they weren't the first choice.

NP - I am so, so tired of posters going out of their way to remark on how bizarre, weird, or horrible it is to know the details of our college kids' lives. A lot of us talk to our kids every day - what do you think we are talking about? My 19 year old talks my ear off about her every thought, what's going on with her friends, etc. and I listen. This was a big theme on the sorority thread too. Just stop it.

I talk to my kid daily but knowing the schools that 10 of her college friends were rejected from and being able to list then out there is just REALLY WEIRD.

NP, but I think you probably just live in a slightly different subculture. My kid knows and talks about where nearly all their high school and summer camp friends are applying. But they also have a ton of friends from middle school who went to private/magnet high schools and none of them talk about this. It’s just different school cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin

DD's friends from HS
Rejected Cornell, attending Pitt
Rejected Columbia, attending CMU
Rejected MIT, attending Northeastern
Rejected Georgetown, attending Case Western
Rejected Barnard, attending Bryn Mawr
Rejected Penn, attending Wesleyan
Rejected Brown, attending Amherst
Rejected Davidson, attending Case Western
Rejected Stanford, attending WashU
Rejected Oxford, attending St John's College

Friends at college
Rejected Amherst, attending Oberlin
Rejected Brown, attending Oberlin
Rejected Harvard, attending Oberlin
Rejected Wellesley, attending Oberlin
Rejected Northwestern, attending Oberlin
Rejected NYU, attending Oberlin
Rejected Dartmouth, attending Oberlin
Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin
Rejected Williams, attending Oberlin

This is interesting. Most are pretty big steps down.

I was going to say the opposite: they all ended up doing just fine.

Both are true: the kids took big steps down and also ended up doing just fine. This process makes people hyper focused on tiny gradations in status. It’s not an accident: the richest schools use their enormous marketing budgets to push those distinctions, because otherwise everyone would go for the more affordable “just fine” options.

Calling these “big steps down” reinforces the hyper-focus on “tiny gradations in status” which you decry. Look into your closest mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin

DD's friends from HS
Rejected Cornell, attending Pitt
Rejected Columbia, attending CMU
Rejected MIT, attending Northeastern
Rejected Georgetown, attending Case Western
Rejected Barnard, attending Bryn Mawr
Rejected Penn, attending Wesleyan
Rejected Brown, attending Amherst
Rejected Davidson, attending Case Western
Rejected Stanford, attending WashU
Rejected Oxford, attending St John's College

Friends at college
Rejected Amherst, attending Oberlin
Rejected Brown, attending Oberlin
Rejected Harvard, attending Oberlin
Rejected Wellesley, attending Oberlin
Rejected Northwestern, attending Oberlin
Rejected NYU, attending Oberlin
Rejected Dartmouth, attending Oberlin
Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin
Rejected Williams, attending Oberlin

This is interesting. Most are pretty big steps down.

NP. Everyone takes a shot somewhere. Half of my DC’s friends are applying to Ivy League schools and they have no chance whatsoever.

Are people supposed to state their pipe dream school or viable dream school here?

The school that they applied to and would have gone to if admitted. Then where they actually went.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin

DD's friends from HS
Rejected Cornell, attending Pitt
Rejected Columbia, attending CMU
Rejected MIT, attending Northeastern
Rejected Georgetown, attending Case Western
Rejected Barnard, attending Bryn Mawr
Rejected Penn, attending Wesleyan
Rejected Brown, attending Amherst
Rejected Davidson, attending Case Western
Rejected Stanford, attending WashU
Rejected Oxford, attending St John's College

Friends at college
Rejected Amherst, attending Oberlin
Rejected Brown, attending Oberlin
Rejected Harvard, attending Oberlin
Rejected Wellesley, attending Oberlin
Rejected Northwestern, attending Oberlin
Rejected NYU, attending Oberlin
Rejected Dartmouth, attending Oberlin
Rejected Cornell, attending Oberlin
Rejected Williams, attending Oberlin

How the bloody heck do you know this about your kid's COLLEGE friends?

I am super involved in the lives of my college kids and talk to them almost every day but i would have zero knowledge about where 10 of their college friends were rejected from college. That is just really, really, really weird.

We talk a lot, I work at a university, and my kid wants to work in admissions for a bit after graduating. She and her friends discuss it at times or she mentions that it comes up in conversation. Every kid seems happy at Oberlin, even if it took a couple semesters for some. A handful of her friends also ED'd to Oberlin, but a lot of Midwestern LACs entice kids with merit even if they weren't the first choice.

NP - I am so, so tired of posters going out of their way to remark on how bizarre, weird, or horrible it is to know the details of our college kids' lives. A lot of us talk to our kids every day - what do you think we are talking about? My 19 year old talks my ear off about her every thought, what's going on with her friends, etc. and I listen. This was a big theme on the sorority thread too. Just stop it.

I talk to my kid daily but knowing the schools that 10 of her college friends were rejected from and being able to list then out there is just REALLY WEIRD.

Your feeling it necessary to make this comment is weirder.

+1

How have you gotten this far as a parent without realizing that different kids, parents, and families are different.

And that’s both normal and ok. There are many, many ways to raise happy, healthy, successful kids. There are also many, many happy, healthy, appropriate ways to interact with college-aged and adult kids.

No one approach has the monopoly on what’s right, best, or normal.

Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

Rejected Brown. Attending BU.
Super happy. I think Boston is a better fit for my DD.