Anonymous wrote:I don't get these comments that are like "oh they thought they were being so unique by naming their kid Milo but he's one of three in class." First of all, Milo is ranked #120 -- if there are three of them in one class, it's a freak accident unlikely to be repeated in that child's life. And second, since name popularity is published online and widely reported on, I doubt anyone is using a popular name without knowing it's popular. Parents giving their kids more popular names know they are more popular and are okay with it, and thus by definition cannot think they are being "so unique." If anything, they are bucking the apparent trend of obsessing over giving your name a totally original, rare name and just saying "screw it, we just really like this name and it's okay if our special snowflake sometimes shares a name with a classmate or coworker."
Milo is ranked #120 in the nation, but do you think it is ranked #120 in Little Rock? In Arlington, VA? In Arlington, TX? Names differ in popularity by region, and that is why we had 2 girls named Xanthe, 2 girls named Sage, and 2 boys named Gray in my kid’s 1st grade year in ny (45 kids total). Not a single Jacob.
... and? Who cares? Why does the popularity of the name matter? All of the names you just mentioned are not very popular overall, too, so even if the kid winds up in a little bubble where there are a couple in school with them, in the rest of their life they will have a fairly uncommon name.
So why does it matter? Why fixate?
Answered in the first comment posted-status. Giving your kid a trending name is often judged as low class. DC is a pretty status obsessed place and no parent here want to use Milo and in three years see it has become the next Brayden.
Brayden may be considered a "low class" name but it's not particularly popular. It's ranked #190, not far on the list from names like Finn, Oscar, Nico, and Max, all names used by people I know who valued a name that wasn't "too popular."
The popularity of a name is not what makes it low or high class. If anything, an obsession with choosing an "original" name is precisely what leads to those Utah manglings like Brayden/Jayden/Kayden or Kinsleigh/Paisley/Brynleigh. Those are efforts to be unique. It would have been been classier to just name their kids William and Sofia.
Popularity is similar but not the same as trends. Did you not read what I wrote, or can you not understand the difference?
A name Brayden is not as popular as James, but it is absolutely more trendy. Any name chart curve can show this information. It’s not popularity that makes a name low class (to some people) it’s trendiness.
Thank you, my reading comprehension is fine. This thread is about popularity, if you wanted to make a distinction about "trendiness" then you should have said so. Brayden is not that popular of a name. It might be trendy, but I think the real issue is that it trends among people who lack status. It is popular among middle class families in places like Utah, which makes it "low class" to a UMC person living in a coastal city. The issue is not its popularity but its social coding.
It's a similarly "spiky" name reflecting a very sudden interest in the name -- a trend. Yet Ezra is coded as intellectual, coastal, and cosmopolitan. It is currently much more popular than Brayden. But it's considered as more "high class" than Brayden.
So no, it's not just that popular names are viewed as more "low class".
Ezra is only viewed (by some) as more cosmopolitan and intellectual because it’s “a few years behind”, as you yourself acknowledged.
Soon enough the masses will catch on that “cosmopolitan intellectual” parents are using it and use it too and it will be just as plebeian as Mason or Braydon or something. This phenomenon has been widely documented.
I disagree. People in coastal cities will view Brayden and Ezra totally differently even when they have similar popularity because of other associations. Ezra is one of those "old person" names that have become popular recently. A lot of people using it are likely naming after a relative (fun fact: Ezra is a Hebrew name and in Ashkenazi tradition, you are not supposed to name children after living relatives, so there's kind of a built in name cycle in some Jewish communities as people name children after great-grandparents but rarely after grandparents) or have positive associations with famous Ezras like Ezra Pound.
Meanwhile, Brayden is one of those invented names that didn't exist before the year 2000. It has no history and thus has a much narrower association with the sorts of people who choose names like Brayden now, who are largely not well-educated elites in large cities.
They may have similar popularity spikes, but they will never have similar cultural or class associations because they are simply very different names.
Look, I’m sorry that you used a trendy name for your kid. You can disagree all you want but there is plenty of data and reporting on this phenomenon.
Names get popular and trend because the masses observe what names have cultural cachet and prestige and then use them for their own children. Then these names become “too popular” or too “common” and have less prestige so the masses move on to the next elite-sounding name.
Can you link to this "data and reporting"? Most of what I've read talks about how naming trends are just super diverse now and there are no more juggernaut names like Jennifer anymore. There was also this interesting article in the Post last year about how, as parents have started emphasizing individualism and uniqueness in baby names, trends become concentrated on sounds within the name. The article mostly focuses on name suffixes, but I've also seen commentary on sites like Nameberry about how names tend to cluster around popular starting letters or sounds, or how there are waves of trends around shorter versus longer names (for instance, the general trend of giving girls longer three- and four-syllable names has given way to a trend of shorter one- and two-syllable names, which has resulted in many of the nicknames for those longer names becoming popular stand along names for younger kids).
Anyway, I think your analysis is off, and not because I'm defensive about what I named my kid. I think you are viewing it narrowly as someone who is obsessed with the "prestige" of names, which in itself indicates a striver focus. In other words, exactly what others on the thread have mentioned -- DC has a striver culture of people who are determined to "win" at baby naming, and strivers are more focused on giving kids unusual names. Interestingly, a lot of the wealthy people I know have given their kids pretty popular, common names recently. I wonder if being wealthy allows them not to worry so much that their child's name will make or break them. Their kids are going to be fine no matter what, so they can go ahead and name them Zoe or Noah and not worry about it.
It’s funny this conversation has come full circle to my first comment, which you are now agreeing with and was the first comment in the entire thread. It comes down to status and prestige.
The first comment in the thread says that some people think trendy names are a negative class indicator, but that's different from the argument above, which is about "prestige" not class. And even if you argue that prestige and class are the same thing, it's actually a different argument.
You are saying that people in the DC area choose unpopular names because of a fear of appearing "low class" by choosing a "trendy name" which you are defining as a popular name (even though some unpopular names are trendy and some popular names are decidedly not trendy).
The above argument says that people in DC choose unpopular names because they are actively seeking the "prestige" of a name no one else has. This argument ignores trendiness and focuses exclusively on popularity.
These are related but not the same.
Again with the lack of reading comprehension. I specifically clarified the difference between a popular name and a trendy name in this exact thread. You are making my points for me.
“James” is a popular name which is not trendy, as I already pointed out above.
Trendy names are the ones which have a big upswing in popularity and hence become associated as low status by elites, who then move on to something else.
OP here and this PP is embodying the exact attitude I'm talking about, which I had never encountered before coming to DC. The condescension, rudeness, obsession with status, use of the term "elites" (lol), etc.
If you aren't actually my neighbor obsessed with giving her kids names outside the top 1000, I'm sad because it means there are at least two of you, probably more. Sigh.
I don’t make the rules, but I understand human nature and what motivates people. DC is a prestige and status obsessed town and of course that impacts baby name atttides. OP Would you name your baby DeWayne or Nevaeh? Be honest. Denying reality of social dynamics helps no one.
I mean, DeWayne and Nevaeh have strong racial associations, which is the main reason a lot of non-black people would stay away from them, the same way most white people would not name their kids Miguel or Valencia.
That said, there actually are a decent number of white Nevaehs, and perusing LinkedIn or Google will reveal that many of them are quite successful. I agree that there are people who stay away from names like that they believe impacts "prestige and status" but I also think this fixation is not totally accurate. The vast majority of successful people in the world have popular names. Not because a popular name leads to success, but because it is the nature of popular names -- many people have them.
No one is denying social dynamics but some of you are making way too much of how name popularity impacts them. Do you really think a little Ezra or Liam or Luna or Mia born to UMC, educated parents will somehow be hampered in life by their names? They won't be. This is a weird fantasy you've invented because of your own fears about downward mobility. You think if you can give your kid a special snowflake name, it will keep them from being rejected from Brown or getting a job at Goldman Sachs. This just isn't the case. If you want to name your kid Sherman because you love that name, go for it. But it's not some secret trick to guaranteeing he's successful in life (and he also might hate you for it, sorry).
^ meant to say that a decent number of adult Nevaehs are pretty successful. NOT limited to white women named Nevaeh. Apologies for my phrasing which was sloppy.
I think a lot of parents try to find a sweet spot with names - a name people recognize, can easily say and spell but isn't everywhere. The kind of name where people say, "Yeah. That's a nice name, I haven't heard that in a while." The name then becoming popular was not part of their plan.
Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of parents try to find a sweet spot with names - a name people recognize, can easily say and spell but isn't everywhere. The kind of name where people say, "Yeah. That's a nice name, I haven't heard that in a while." The name then becoming popular was not part of their plan.
This was called “Fitting in but Standing Out” chapter in Laura Wattenburg’s baby name book circa 1998 and how I selected DD name.
Anonymous wrote:I grew up as a Jennifer/Jenny in the Midwest, and this was absolutely an important aspect of naming my children. I just wanted them to have more unique names.
I'd love to see a list of what the Jennifers (most popular name for 15 years!) named their own kids.
Answering my for sister and SIL, both 1970 k 1973 Jennifers:
Charlotte
John
William
Christopher
Henry
Sarah
James
Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of parents try to find a sweet spot with names - a name people recognize, can easily say and spell but isn't everywhere. The kind of name where people say, "Yeah. That's a nice name, I haven't heard that in a while." The name then becoming popular was not part of their plan.
Popularity is weird though. My kid has a top 50 name. I think we have met one other child with the name? On a playground years and years ago, when our DD was a toddler. Otherwise, nothing - no duplicates in class or at soccer or her ballet school or anywhere. Her ballet school has 600 students and she was still the only kid with this name at the big recital last weekend.
But when I see her name discussed online, I often see people saying it's "everywhere" or that "everyone I know is giving their kid this name" or "I'm so sick of this name." So it's just odd. Our experience is that the name is not oversaturated, but the name has a reputation for being popular (I think it's ranked in the 30s or 40s now, it was low 20s when we picked it).
So I feel like my kid has a "fitting in but standing out" name, but a lot of people seem to perceive it as too common. 🤷🏼♀️ I don't know!
Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of parents try to find a sweet spot with names - a name people recognize, can easily say and spell but isn't everywhere. The kind of name where people say, "Yeah. That's a nice name, I haven't heard that in a while." The name then becoming popular was not part of their plan.
This was called “Fitting in but Standing Out” chapter in Laura Wattenburg’s baby name book circa 1998 and how I selected DD name.
Did it then become popular? Or is it still in the sweet spot?
I don't like sharing my kids' names on here because of anonymity, and also because people can be nasty on here and I don't want to hear how ugly or trendy or "downwardly mobile" other people think my kids' names are.
Anonymous wrote:I think that a lot of people think that trendy names are a negative class indicator, and that might be where this is coming from.
Right- maybe we all read Freakenomics and this part stuck. I think for me it was a factor. I remember having names I liked 2-3 years before my child was born and thinking- I cant use those because by the time I have a kid they will have been pushed down the social status line.
Anonymous wrote:I think that a lot of people think that trendy names are a negative class indicator, and that might be where this is coming from.
Right- maybe we all read Freakenomics and this part stuck. I think for me it was a factor. I remember having names I liked 2-3 years before my child was born and thinking- I cant use those because by the time I have a kid they will have been pushed down the social status line.
I can't believe people in 2025 are influenced by Freakonomics. That book was a joke. Haven't any of you read the criticism of all their major conclusions? This is why economists should not do social science.
Listen to the episode of If Books Could Kill on Freakonomics. It is not a good resource for understanding anything.
Also stop using Malcolm Gladwell books to parent. Similar issues.
there was a similar conversation about this on Reddit recently but respondents were from all over (including outside the US). I found this comment to represent my views, though I'm not Russian or if Russians heritage:
"I feel that this also has to do with what society sees as unique. Like, my Russian relatives still want their kids to stand out, but it is more about achievements. Just looking different or having a very uncommon name doesn't make you unique there. Basically unique isn't something you are, but something you achieve."
I think people hope to create a shortcut to coolness or individuality via an unusual name, but in the end most people are crowd followers. I gave my kid a name I liked the sound of, that is associated with positive qualities, and that I thought suited their likely appearance. It is not unusual (though not super common either, just somewhere in the middle).
Raising my child to be a free thinker, a leader, someone with the courage of their convictions, is far more important than giving them a name no one has heard of before, or even that has "high class" connotations.
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