Why are people in the DC area so weird about name popularity?

Anonymous
I've never encountered people more weird about this issue than in the DC area. I've met three parents in the last year of living here who have confessed to me that they stress that their kids names are "too popular." None of these kids have top 10 names, their kids are the only kids I've ever met with their names, and they are nice names. I've also heard women in our neighborhood say some not nice things about names they deem too popular, or certain "name trends" they seem to be disparaging. One mom I know told a group of us that she poured over lists of names outside the top 1000 names to choose her kids names, and studied naming trends to ensure that her kids' names would not be too popular or likely to become trendy. When she said this (at a backyard bbq), other women in the conversation nodded and said things like "oh, that's so smart" and no one else seemed to be thinking what I was thinking, which was "do you have ocd by any chance?"

What the heck? I can understand not wanting to give your baby one of the most popular names (though I also think there are good reasons why people choose these names -- they are popular for good reasons, generally) but people here seem obsessed with giving their kids unpopular names and ensuring that they will never encounter another person with the same name. Can anyone explain why this is? I moved here from a large West Coast city and there's definitely some of that but people are not as self-conscious or vocal about it and it's countered by people wanting to give their kids names that are recognizably names and wanting a name that will fit in. The people out West who obsess over original names are a specific type of person (what we used to call hipsters, I know don't know how they are identified now) and are considered a little fringe. Like that guy at work who needs you to know he knows more obscure bands than you do -- it's a kind of annoying personality quirk, not a universal value. But here it seems mainstream.

What am I missing? Why are people here like this?
Anonymous
I think that a lot of people think that trendy names are a negative class indicator, and that might be where this is coming from.
Anonymous
Even though my name isn’t rare, I rarely ever encountered personalized items with my name on them. I named both of my kids names that are more common than mine and I’ve been thrilled that most displays of personalized tchotchkes have their names. My kids are in high school and one of my kids has had one classmate ever with her first name, and the other has never had a classmate with the same name, but has had two classmates with a variation (think Sophie vs. Sophia). It’s not like back when I was in elementary school and had 3 Michelles in my class of 29.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think that a lot of people think that trendy names are a negative class indicator, and that might be where this is coming from.


+1 there's also a "special snowflake" aspect to it. But I think they also don't get that a "popular" name now is not as popular as the top names of 30+ years ago. I have a Jacob and it did give me pause that it had been so popular for a long time. But, it's a family name and that was important to me. He's ended up generally having at most one other Jacob in his classes. Glad I didn't let popularity drive the choice.
Anonymous
I grew up as a Jennifer/Jenny in the Midwest, and this was absolutely an important aspect of naming my children. I just wanted them to have more unique names.
Anonymous
I don’t think it has anything to do with geography.

I know some people who prefer classic names, trendy names, uncommon names, and everything in between. It doesn’t seem to vary by social class/socioeconomic status that much either.

A lot of times parents who grew up either with super common names (or very uncommon names) didn’t love it, and go in the opposite direction. My DH is this way. He grew up with a very unusual first name and insisted on more common names for our own kids. His own name has grown on him over the years, but he gets tired of having to repeat himself, spell it out, etc. That said, he is almost 50yrs old and times have changed.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that a lot of people think that trendy names are a negative class indicator, and that might be where this is coming from.


+1 there's also a "special snowflake" aspect to it. But I think they also don't get that a "popular" name now is not as popular as the top names of 30+ years ago. I have a Jacob and it did give me pause that it had been so popular for a long time. But, it's a family name and that was important to me. He's ended up generally having at most one other Jacob in his classes. Glad I didn't let popularity drive the choice.


I have a son whose name is probably in the same “common name category” (Luke). Nearly half of the boys in his preschool class shared his first name 🤣 (4 of 9 boys). Yet, in his middle school grade of 250ish kids there is only one other. Preschool was bizarre but otherwise it has been fine.
Anonymous
I don’t think it is unique to this area. There are dozens of naming sites out there. So lots of people looking at this.
Anonymous
Because when people decide to name their baby Milo or Arlo they feel good about what a unique idea they came up with, and know their heart will sink to realize that Milo is actually rising in popularity and they aren't unique at all.

Then there are the people who do super corny things, like my friend who had a very Basic 80's Girl Name who named her kids (not in the DMV so I'm not worried about her finding this) Parker, Piper and Peyton.
Anonymous
Milo and Otis.
Great movie. Watched it in bed with the cats on Christmas Day. Still makes me smile. They're gone a long time now.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it has anything to do with geography.

I know some people who prefer classic names, trendy names, uncommon names, and everything in between. It doesn’t seem to vary by social class/socioeconomic status that much either.

A lot of times parents who grew up either with super common names (or very uncommon names) didn’t love it, and go in the opposite direction. My DH is this way. He grew up with a very unusual first name and insisted on more common names for our own kids. His own name has grown on him over the years, but he gets tired of having to repeat himself, spell it out, etc. That said, he is almost 50yrs old and times have changed.



You dont think there's an aspect of DC culture marked by being snowflakey, competitive, fear of being basic?
Anonymous
Because it's inconvenient when your child has the same first name as many others.

It's embarrassing to do something you think is less common and have it turn out to be trendy. That's why a classic and enduringly popular name like Elizabeth or Jacob is common but still okay, but a "sudden spike" name is a little bit cringe.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I grew up as a Jennifer/Jenny in the Midwest, and this was absolutely an important aspect of naming my children. I just wanted them to have more unique names.

I was the other end of the spectrum I wished I was a Jennifer , Lauren or Megan because my name is unique not bonkers unique, but unique enough I could never find the name items as a kid. I just wanted a keychain with my name on it😂
Anonymous
A lot of parents have a case of TTH (trying too hard)
Anonymous
DC people try too hard with everything they do.
post reply Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion
Message Quick Reply
Go to: