Do women expect a ring at 1 year?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, OP, why did you even ask this question if your GF already said she doesn't have a timeline, you think she's a 10 and want to spend the rest of your life with her?

I think you came on here seeking to validate your position one way or another. You do have some issues.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You remind me of a boyfriend my doctor sister had at that age. He was nice guy, good-looking and a doctor. We all liked him and really thought he would be her husband. Well, she met another guy at a conference (also a doctor) and he swept her off her feet. He proposed to her within the year and she accepted. Her boyfriend was in shock. He was planning on proposing to her but he lost out to a more determined suitor. The poor guy even came over and talked to my mom. If your girlfriend is all that you say, there will be other guys interested, too. My sister and her DH have been happily married for decades with two great sons.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you two?

Why do you feel like you’re not ready to make a life long commitment? Is it something about her, or something about commitment?

OP here. I’m in love with and see a future with her. I’ve never thought about marrying a woman before I met her. It’s still just scary because my family doesn’t believe in divorce and it’s a lifelong commitment. I don’t feel like there is a rush when it’s a decision that can determine the rest of your life.

That's baloney. You shouldn't get married because you need to get away from your controlling family. Seek therapy because you are too enmeshed.

OP here. I’m a catholic. They are not controlling. Many people don’t take marriage seriously but I do. Too many people get married with the idea they can just divorce in 10 or 20 years. That’s not what I want for my life or my future kids. They deserve a two parent household with happy parents.

OP, I also don’t believe in divorce. DH and I took dating seriously. Go to therapy for yourself and/or couples counseling. The more therapy you do before you get engaged, the more it will pay off during your marriage. If therapy breaks you up, you are never meant to be together. It also signals to your girlfriend that you’re not stringing her along. You’re contemplating something serious.

You keep saying this OP but I really don’t get it. I’m religious too, and we got married at 25/26. Also from families that don’t divorce, and we’ve been married 20 years. This seems like a lot of excuses on your end. It’s been a year. You are 35. You should know by now if she is the one, and dragging it out is really unfair to her and if she is the one for you, for you too. Your family is pressuring you for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess people just want to attack me. We will keep living our lives and I will propose when the time is right.

I have strong values and principles. I’m happy to be in a place where I can pay of my girlfriends student debts if we get married, buy her a house that she wants, give her the option to quit work, etc.

I’m sure things will work out. It’s also an added bonus that my family and friends love her.

How much is her student loan debt, and what is her payoff schedule? That would affect my timing to propose if I were set on being a provider as you are.

OP here. She has 75k in student loans from her last degree. She could afford to pay it off but I will do that for her if we get married.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you just want to be DINKs then who cares. Also at your age, she might be best you'll ever be able to do. Let's say she hits 30 and all her friends start hitting their major life milestones and you're still not ready, but she is, and dumps you. You're now back in the dating pool with a different, older crowd of women.

OP here. Most older men always find younger women. They almost always pass up the older women for younger. Not saying it’s right but I think men my age still go for 23-30 year old women.

My point is that they are less likely to go for you as you age.

OP here. I don’t agree with that. Many men my age still date younger women and I think they can always get that. It’s women over 35 that have a harder time of ever finding a partner because men my age won’t date them.

Dude, if this is about you thinking you can do better with some younger chick, get over it. Marry her or not but your 35 freaking years old. Grow up.

And ftr, I know plenty of people who got engaged at a year, got engaged on a second date, got engaged after a few months, or got engaged after 11 years dating . . . . none of the timelines matter. It was the people, the connection, values, etc. Some divorced; some did not. It's all over the place. You're way overthinking it. On top of some other opinions I'll keep to myself.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have had several talks with my girlfriend. She doesn’t have any timeline other than no kids until 30. Her last ex was also older than her. I don’t think a 7 year difference is “ so much older”.

I don’t like the idea of a timeline placed on me or having to do things by society’s standards or a timeline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighbors are Catholic. The wife was maybe a 6 out of 10 before getting married at like 39 and then having two kids. Now she’s a 4, cranky, and zero fun. Her husband hates her but stays for the kids, and Catholicism. You’re right to be cautious. This will probably be the two of you in a few years.

OP here. She’s a 6 to you but she may be a 10 to him. How do you know he views her as a 6 and now a 4?

My girlfriend is a 10 to me. She’s beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy. Even with some weight gain, she would still be a knockout. I don’t think I would ever lose my attraction to her or think she’s less of a 10 because of weight gain or aging.

She was actually 20lbs heavier when we first met. Still found her just as sexy as she is now.

Oh lord . . . you are a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have had several talks with my girlfriend. She doesn’t have any timeline other than no kids until 30. Her last ex was also older than her. I don’t think a 7 year difference is “ so much older”.

I don’t like the idea of a timeline placed on me or having to do things by society’s standards or a timeline.

So she doesn't mind if you drag your feet until you're 50 and she's 43?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighbors are Catholic. The wife was maybe a 6 out of 10 before getting married at like 39 and then having two kids. Now she’s a 4, cranky, and zero fun. Her husband hates her but stays for the kids, and Catholicism. You’re right to be cautious. This will probably be the two of you in a few years.

OP here. She’s a 6 to you but she may be a 10 to him. How do you know he views her as a 6 and now a 4?

My girlfriend is a 10 to me. She’s beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy. Even with some weight gain, she would still be a knockout. I don’t think I would ever lose my attraction to her or think she’s less of a 10 because of weight gain or aging.

She was actually 20lbs heavier when we first met. Still found her just as sexy as she is now.

Oh lord . . . you are a piece of work.

OP here? Why? I was being truthful that some weight gain isn’t an issue. She was heavier when we first met and I didn’t mind. I don’t I would care if she puts on 20lbs again. Obviously that’s far different than your partner becoming obese.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP 1 year is too soon I feel like 3 years at least so you really get to know them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have had several talks with my girlfriend. She doesn’t have any timeline other than no kids until 30. Her last ex was also older than her. I don’t think a 7 year difference is “ so much older”.

I don’t like the idea of a timeline placed on me or having to do things by society’s standards or a timeline.

So what is the effing problem OP? You and your gorgeous sexy perfect 10 girlfriend are on the same page about timing and kids. I ask you again, what is the effing problem?

As you can see, everyone on this thread finds you exhausting and insufferable.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you just want to be DINKs then who cares. Also at your age, she might be best you'll ever be able to do. Let's say she hits 30 and all her friends start hitting their major life milestones and you're still not ready, but she is, and dumps you. You're now back in the dating pool with a different, older crowd of women.

OP here. Most older men always find younger women. They almost always pass up the older women for younger. Not saying it’s right but I think men my age still go for 23-30 year old women.

My point is that they are less likely to go for you as you age.

OP here. I don’t agree with that. Many men my age still date younger women and I think they can always get that. It’s women over 35 that have a harder time of ever finding a partner because men my age won’t date them.

OP, you’re gross and have cultish ideas about things. It took some prodding with these comments, but you’ve surely revealed yourself.

OP here. I’m merely speaking facts. Most women over 35+ have a much harder time finding a partner than a man 35+. Most men will date younger women instead of a woman their age. Don’t be upset because you can’t accept reality.

They’re not facts unless you can show me a peer reviewed studies. Otherwise your statement is just some anecdotal experiences you and your Peter Pan Cath-bros are spouting as truth.

OP here. You don’t live in real world.

I bet you’re such a nerd IRL. Otherwise you’d already have bagged a wonderful woman. They just didn’t want anything to do you.

OP here. What’s wrong with being a nerd?

Most men have a financial clock, just like women have a biological clock.

A man isn’t a man unless he provides for his family. I stand by that belief. I don’t believe a man 30+ should get married unless he’s financially well. Being able to provide for your wife and kids is important.

Right, see, lots of people are able to do that without working 70 hour weeks. You keep making excuses for avoiding your relationships.

OP here. I don’t avoid my relationships. My girlfriend and I spend plenty of time together. We are together 75% or the time. I’m present and she has my full attention when together.

I didn’t neglect my ex either. She only worked 30 hours a week and expected all of my time and attention that I couldn’t give her. She wanted to be together 24/7. That’s not possible when you work.

How is it possible that you are together 75% of the time? Is that because you live together and she was a student while you work from home? You are either lying or only talking about 75% of your free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am not sure if you were never open to thughts or if you used this board as a clarifying tool, butit seems youd make up your mind and aren't listening to peoples' input.

if it were me, i'd ask at a minimum my girlfriend what her thinking is about timing - is she okay with being 35+ for kid #2, for example; is she okay with your being an older dad?

I find it interesting that you are so much older than her. By the way you speak, most men should get married before their late 30s

correction: most men SHOULD NOT be married before they are in their late 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You remind me of a boyfriend my doctor sister had at that age. He was nice guy, good-looking and a doctor. We all liked him and really thought he would be her husband. Well, she met another guy at a conference (also a doctor) and he swept her off her feet. He proposed to her within the year and she accepted. Her boyfriend was in shock. He was planning on proposing to her but he lost out to a more determined suitor. The poor guy even came over and talked to my mom. If your girlfriend is all that you say, there will be other guys interested, too. My sister and her DH have been happily married for decades with two great sons.

This is true. If she's really a 28-year-old "10" with a graduate degree and OP doesn't propose soon, she may open her mind to other possibilities, and there should be plenty. Also, regarding OP's catholicism, I, too, am religious, and there is no way I would fully move in with someone prior to marriage, in small part because it would be very upsetting to my family, but also because it would not feel good to me.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you just want to be DINKs then who cares. Also at your age, she might be best you'll ever be able to do. Let's say she hits 30 and all her friends start hitting their major life milestones and you're still not ready, but she is, and dumps you. You're now back in the dating pool with a different, older crowd of women.

OP here. Most older men always find younger women. They almost always pass up the older women for younger. Not saying it’s right but I think men my age still go for 23-30 year old women.

My point is that they are less likely to go for you as you age.

OP here. I don’t agree with that. Many men my age still date younger women and I think they can always get that. It’s women over 35 that have a harder time of ever finding a partner because men my age won’t date them.

OP, you’re gross and have cultish ideas about things. It took some prodding with these comments, but you’ve surely revealed yourself.

OP here. I’m merely speaking facts. Most women over 35+ have a much harder time finding a partner than a man 35+. Most men will date younger women instead of a woman their age. Don’t be upset because you can’t accept reality.

They’re not facts unless you can show me a peer reviewed studies. Otherwise your statement is just some anecdotal experiences you and your Peter Pan Cath-bros are spouting as truth.

OP here. You don’t live in real world.

I bet you’re such a nerd IRL. Otherwise you’d already have bagged a wonderful woman. They just didn’t want anything to do you.

OP here. What’s wrong with being a nerd?

Most men have a financial clock, just like women have a biological clock.

A man isn’t a man unless he provides for his family. I stand by that belief. I don’t believe a man 30+ should get married unless he’s financially well. Being able to provide for your wife and kids is important.

Right, see, lots of people are able to do that without working 70 hour weeks. You keep making excuses for avoiding your relationships.

OP here. I don’t avoid my relationships. My girlfriend and I spend plenty of time together. We are together 75% or the time. I’m present and she has my full attention when together.

I didn’t neglect my ex either. She only worked 30 hours a week and expected all of my time and attention that I couldn’t give her. She wanted to be together 24/7. That’s not possible when you work.

How is it possible that you are together 75% of the time? Is that because you live together and she was a student while you work from home? You are either lying or only talking about 75% of your free time.

OP here. We don’t live together but she is at my place every night almost and we spend the entire weekend together. The only time we don’t see each other is when at work or if we have separate plans 1-2 times a month.