How do people afford private schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents pay? Isn't it kind of embarrassing to be financially dependent on your parents in your 40s and 50s? Especially if you went to a top 20 college or university. With that caliber of education, shouldn't you be set for life? I thought that was the whole point.

No. This is a way to distribute wealth. I have a friend whose parent pay for three kids. Pay for vacations too. Parents are both biglaw partners. Could pay but they get to do other things with that money. Good way to get around death taxes at least to some extent.

So, you’re “distributing wealth” by taking their money and shoveling it into a hole for 13 years, when free public schools are available next door. They could have just gifted you money every year up to the gift tax limit. You’ve actually lost an enormous amount this way.

So the rich are helping the poor by sending their kids to private school and not taking up their public school spots. Boohoo.

FWIW I'm 99% sure that the grandparents are already gifting the max limit every year in the above scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WWJC what would Jesus charge for tuition. Happy Easter. Rich people suck and should be shamed.

Actually, well educated poors are those that deserve shame. Scrambling to make do while so many rich people are funding the world, volunteering for noble causes, generously contributing to charities etc, etc etc. Make better use of your time and all things are possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents pay. We could afford it on our own but it helps with their estate planning.

How?

Because the grandparents can pay the school directly tax free and it doesn’t count towards the inheritance limit. So if you suspect you will leave behind more then the estate tax exemption, it is a smart way to spend your money.

Ohhh. That's a level of wealth that I'm not familiar with. With all sincerity, thanks for the explanation!

Grandparents are not always that wealthy. My parents are retired boomers who have about 200k a year in retirement income between their pensions, social security and dividends. My father was a professor and mother a teacher just to give you an idea of their background. They own their house outright and are not extravagant in day to day life. They are paying for my nephew's private school out of their income (35k) and they still take two nice trips a year and have a good social life, and still save each year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vent post: after receiving our financial aid determination—less than I'd hoped—the sticker shock of how much this is going to cost is sinking in... How do people afford this?

Oh reality just set in! Should have did the worst case budget before even applying. If you need aid to attend, you can't afford it. That's just the truth. Don't put your family in a hardship position.

+1

Most of the kids that do well from here do well because of THEIR connections (family, family friends, etc, always the generation older, never the kids). Don't think for a second your kid will 'make' connections that enable them to do better. YOUR kid will do the same regardless of their school. If you are 'just' MC, your kid has the same chances as you public or private. They will have better college acceptances from public school too. (Colleges want many schools represented, so they will take the top from your private school and normally it's the connected kids. Public school kids are less likely to be connected, so if your kid is the top, their chances are better). Now when your kid (or you) have the connections through the business they established AND that business is successful, then the 'right' connections will find you family. This is really obvious to the most casual observer. Stop and observe, you'll see.

BTW I send my kids private prek-8 and I'm definitely not a 'connected' family. I do so for child specific reasons and better teachers, smaller classes. My older kids switch to public in HS, when they need to learn to swim in bigger more competitive, ruthless waters (selective publics) - this will be their life and they need to be prepared for it.

I disagree with this. Being surrounded by high achieving kids and family might not guarantee great connections, but it will set the stage for what they want to achieve in life.

Being surrounded by success, will will push kids to aim higher. Maybe the same happens at some good public schools too in certain neighborhood, but it would not have happened at mine

Sorry this is family dependent. High achieving, high income, high net wealth family here. We put the kids in whatever schools we want. They have been in several different environments and have the same expectations of themselves regardless.

In-laws actually went a step further and put their kids in low income schools in order to broaden their perspectives. Kids went to Ivies and became investment bankers, every single one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School choice is a real trigger for a lot of people.

I noticed this too. Can you elaborate?

For us:

One kid
Grandparents help (also only grandkid)
Old cars
Condo
We travel and go all over but don't blow tons of funds on each trip
Eat out less/cook at home
Don't spend on nails, hair, etc

[Anonymous]

My DH is a master at day trading. He refuses to finance anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These rich people in America are so obscenely grotesque. I would best describe America as on gigantic Walmart. It's just so bizarre that the powers that be heavily influenced this broken and dysfunctional structure for their gain at the price of chaos for society. It's not right.

I'm trying, but seriously this doesn't even make sense to me.

America is broken or private schools or the rich people that spend on them? What's the dysfunctional system - our tax system that allows breaks,? The school system? How do you get that it's broken? I've lived in 5 different countries and visited about 80 and this one's not perfect but it's much better than any I've been to. What exactly do you mean? Or are you just upset with your lot in life and projecting anger outward? My guess is the latter - go for a very long walk and have a think about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a big law partner, so HHI is high (about $2 mill). This is how we afford private school ($50k+ per kid) for 4 kids. I think most non-lawyers are clueless about how much an average equity partner makes in a big law firm.

How long has he been making that salary and did he have debt coming out of law school? If so, when did you pay it off? Finally, what are his hours?

I'm just trying to decide if I should feel jealous or pity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vent post: after receiving our financial aid determination—less than I'd hoped—the sticker shock of how much this is going to cost is sinking in... How do people afford this?

Oh reality just set in! Should have did the worst case budget before even applying. If you need aid to attend, you can't afford it. That's just the truth. Don't put your family in a hardship position.

+1

Most of the kids that do well from here do well because of THEIR connections (family, family friends, etc, always the generation older, never the kids). Don't think for a second your kid will 'make' connections that enable them to do better. YOUR kid will do the same regardless of their school. If you are 'just' MC, your kid has the same chances as you public or private. They will have better college acceptances from public school too. (Colleges want many schools represented, so they will take the top from your private school and normally it's the connected kids. Public school kids are less likely to be connected, so if your kid is the top, their chances are better). Now when your kid (or you) have the connections through the business they established AND that business is successful, then the 'right' connections will find you family. This is really obvious to the most casual observer. Stop and observe, you'll see.

BTW I send my kids private prek-8 and I'm definitely not a 'connected' family. I do so for child specific reasons and better teachers, smaller classes. My older kids switch to public in HS, when they need to learn to swim in bigger more competitive, ruthless waters (selective publics) - this will be their life and they need to be prepared for it.

I disagree with this. Being surrounded by high achieving kids and family might not guarantee great connections, but it will set the stage for what they want to achieve in life.

Being surrounded by success, will will push kids to aim higher. Maybe the same happens at some good public schools too in certain neighborhood, but it would not have happened at mine

Sorry this is family dependent. High achieving, high income, high net wealth family here. We put the kids in whatever schools we want. They have been in several different environments and have the same expectations of themselves regardless.

In-laws actually went a step further and put their kids in low income schools in order to broaden their perspectives. Kids went to Ivies and became investment bankers, every single one of them.

How sad (that every single child became an investment banker).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vent post: after receiving our financial aid determination—less than I'd hoped—the sticker shock of how much this is going to cost is sinking in... How do people afford this?

Oh reality just set in! Should have did the worst case budget before even applying. If you need aid to attend, you can't afford it. That's just the truth. Don't put your family in a hardship position.

+1

Most of the kids that do well from here do well because of THEIR connections (family, family friends, etc, always the generation older, never the kids). Don't think for a second your kid will 'make' connections that enable them to do better. YOUR kid will do the same regardless of their school. If you are 'just' MC, your kid has the same chances as you public or private. They will have better college acceptances from public school too. (Colleges want many schools represented, so they will take the top from your private school and normally it's the connected kids. Public school kids are less likely to be connected, so if your kid is the top, their chances are better). Now when your kid (or you) have the connections through the business they established AND that business is successful, then the 'right' connections will find you family. This is really obvious to the most casual observer. Stop and observe, you'll see.

BTW I send my kids private prek-8 and I'm definitely not a 'connected' family. I do so for child specific reasons and better teachers, smaller classes. My older kids switch to public in HS, when they need to learn to swim in bigger more competitive, ruthless waters (selective publics) - this will be their life and they need to be prepared for it.

I disagree with this. Being surrounded by high achieving kids and family might not guarantee great connections, but it will set the stage for what they want to achieve in life.

Being surrounded by success, will will push kids to aim higher. Maybe the same happens at some good public schools too in certain neighborhood, but it would not have happened at mine

Being surrounded by lazy people who actively looked for ways to get more money from the government (disability, unemployment, housing subsidy) was a real catalyst for me. Same with diet and exercise - they all used to make fun of me about it too. 'Oh look, Larla thinks she's better than us' and 'why do you keep eating thay rabbit food'. What works for one kid won't work for another.

[Anonymous]

Go to other first world countries and then come back to bmore and observe that this rich state looks like war torn Africa. Rich people volunteer at galas to kiss bitt of other rich people. Yall don't give two shts about the strife and the work that the poor do to build this country. Most rich people are just lazy entitled grifters and many are as dumb as trump bc they never had to do real work or worry about poor people issues. Lastly, if there is a God, I don't believe that it would condone the greed of Americas top one percent. What would that say about God?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vent post: after receiving our financial aid determination—less than I'd hoped—the sticker shock of how much this is going to cost is sinking in... How do people afford this?

Oh reality just set in! Should have did the worst case budget before even applying. If you need aid to attend, you can't afford it. That's just the truth. Don't put your family in a hardship position.

+1

Most of the kids that do well from here do well because of THEIR connections (family, family friends, etc, always the generation older, never the kids). Don't think for a second your kid will 'make' connections that enable them to do better. YOUR kid will do the same regardless of their school. If you are 'just' MC, your kid has the same chances as you public or private. They will have better college acceptances from public school too. (Colleges want many schools represented, so they will take the top from your private school and normally it's the connected kids. Public school kids are less likely to be connected, so if your kid is the top, their chances are better). Now when your kid (or you) have the connections through the business they established AND that business is successful, then the 'right' connections will find you family. This is really obvious to the most casual observer. Stop and observe, you'll see.

BTW I send my kids private prek-8 and I'm definitely not a 'connected' family. I do so for child specific reasons and better teachers, smaller classes. My older kids switch to public in HS, when they need to learn to swim in bigger more competitive, ruthless waters (selective publics) - this will be their life and they need to be prepared for it.

I disagree with this. Being surrounded by high achieving kids and family might not guarantee great connections, but it will set the stage for what they want to achieve in life.

Being surrounded by success, will will push kids to aim higher. Maybe the same happens at some good public schools too in certain neighborhood, but it would not have happened at mine

Sorry this is family dependent. High achieving, high income, high net wealth family here. We put the kids in whatever schools we want. They have been in several different environments and have the same expectations of themselves regardless.

In-laws actually went a step further and put their kids in low income schools in order to broaden their perspectives. Kids went to Ivies and became investment bankers, every single one of them.

How sad (that every single child became an investment banker).

PP here. I don’t disagree. In-laws were disappointed by this outcome. You can tell from their decisions that was not their goal. Spending time in low income schools did not make them more magnanimous as in-laws desired.

[Anonymous]

Do you think that poor people were the ones who were city planner that created designs for endless fast food chains, liquor stores, and Walmart? Are poor people the ones that designed a system where if you steal a loaf of bread you go to poor people jail but if your the wolf of Wallstreet who grifted milluons of dollars from poor people you go to country club jail? That's why in Europe we say America is Land of the Greed home of the Slave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to other first world countries and then come back to bmore and observe that this rich state looks like war torn Africa. Rich people volunteer at galas to kiss bitt of other rich people. Yall don't give two shts about the strife and the work that the poor do to build this country. Most rich people are just lazy entitled grifters and many are as dumb as trump bc they never had to do real work or worry about poor people issues. Lastly, if there is a God, I don't believe that it would condone the greed of Americas top one percent. What would that say about God?

another.

Which rich country would you like me to visit? I think I've been to most, if not all, rich countries. I've also been to 8 countries in Africa - not sure why you think the entire continent is "war torn". Two of the countries I've been to in Africa might be considered by some, not me, to be "war torn" (Algeria and Libya). Nope, America looks great! It looks nothing like a poor country. All the "rich" countries I've been to have problems of the same magnitude as America and they too all have poverty, but not on the scale of what I saw in poor countries. Yep, America is great, not perfect.

I'd lump America in the same bucket as Canada, Switzerland, Norway, Australia, Sweden. All these countries have issues, but they're all still pretty good.

[Anonymous]

Like others have commented, we don't live extravagantly and don't try to keep up with the Joneses. That's how we pay for private school. We placed our child in private because we want her to love learning and her high-performing public was not working for us. She sees lazy, affluent kids and she also has a hardworking bunch of largely affluent kids that she is friendly with. She knows that we provide her with opportunities and that it is her job to take advantage of them and figure out what she is going to do to financially support herself because we will not support her indefinitely. She is also in private school because certain behaviors are not tolerated. While there is certainly meanness, elitism, and other nonsense, we have no problem calling it out. We also know that many of the exact behaviors happen in high-performing suburban schools, so it comes down to the fact our child really enjoys her current school and we can make it work financially with one child. For us, we see private school as a privilege and a choice. It also can be revoked if our child does not put forth effort -- and she knows that. Finally, there is no one way to educate your kid in the DMV. We have had friends in public, magnet, parochial and private -- and all of them have some regrets about their choices. Do what works best for your value system and budget and try not to fret too much (easier said than done.) The kids will be alright no
matter what path you choose.