How would you react if a burglar entered your home when your children are present?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will get my gun first. Won’t hesitate to shoot.

so you'd like go down stairs and shoot them proactively? If they were on their way out the door with 3 ipads they'd grabbed from your counter...would you still shoot them? or is it more if they started coming to where you were you'd shoot them? some people seem so eager for an excuse to shoot someone when most burglars are just taking the $1000 uppababy out of the garage to resell and aren't armed or a threat to you

I'm not a right wing gun nut but anyone who breaks in to my home is a threat to my life and to the lives of anyone in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Op, I think the idea that you can sacrifice yourself to save your daughter and this will somehow keep your daughter safer than getting help is a romantic notion from watching too many movies. Much better to call 911 and get help on the way than to try and be a hero and think that means your daughter is safe. A burglar is more likely to leave you and your daughter alone and not harm you if you leave them alone and don't pose a threat.

OP here. Between engaging the burglars in order to distract them /give them valuables and sacrificing myself is a long way to go. I consider it my responsibility to do something and not hide in the bushes while my daughter is about to have a traumatizing experience alone (even if she is not harmed).

Engaging the burglars in anyway is more likely to make them act rashly, such as take out their moms stupid antics on the DD they find later on.

This is one of the most sick posts I've seen on dcum. You are blaming a woman and saying a potential rape or murder by a home invader is the fault of the adult woman in the house. You are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a dog. Even a small one. The barking will deter.

That's a complete joke. Only a dog that is an actual threat will deter. Get a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, or any other working breed known to be used by K9 Units.

Not true. The barking deters. It’s like an alarm. They don’t want to mess with awake family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Nobody seems to have picked up on anything strange regarding my husband's planned reaction. He would flee the house and leave our daughter in the house together with the burglars.

In my opinion this would greatly increase the risk of an encounter between our daughter and the burglars. The likelihood is low that the police would get there in time.

I could never do this, and consider his attitude extremely cowardly. I am stunned that he would put his safety and well-being above that of our daughter.

Does anybody feel like that or am I crazy?

It's shocking. My DH would fight or shoot the intruders and would never leave us/our children. I would not be able to recover from hearing this either, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would avoid indulging in fantasies about fringe scenarios and focus on helping my family with their actual everyday challenges.

the possibility of a home invasion is very real, even in nice neighborhoods.

My DD is highly anxious, and she talks about what would happen if someone broke into the house. So, I have to go through scenarios with her.

How many people do you personally know have been victims of a home invasion? I know of NONE and I live in a nice neighborhood in West LA. There have been break-ins while people were away, thefts of bikes, outdoor decor and catalytic converters, but no home invasions. I have a house alarm, well-lit home and driveway, and lock up consistently. We do not drive luxury vehicles, wear expensive jewelry, accessories or clothing that would draw the attention of thieves. Maybe the answer to the anxiety of child left alone is to make sure they are alone less?

I used to live in LA, and someone tried to break into our sfh when one of us was home.

My DD is 15. I'm not going to not leave her home alone for a few hours because of her anxiety. Rather, I walk her through her anxiety and play what ifs to try to make her feel better and giver her actionable items to help her deal with her anxiety.

You have obviously never had an anxious child. So, I don't think I'll take advice from you, but thanks.

Every incident is unique. Good for you in feeling secure to leave your anxious DD alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I’m not of the school that thinks a man should leave his family to the tender mercies of psychopaths while he runs outside to hide or make noise and pretend to be the police, who, by the way, are as likely as not to blast him when they see him in the bushes or jumping up and down in the street.

So you think that even though confronting burglars is far more likely to result in injury or death or trauma that the dad should do that because its more manly? I mean I think one parent goes out the window and one parent tries to get to the kid in a normal situation. In THIS situation, the kid has a door in a CLOSET that leads to an attic. The kid has an EXCELLENT protective safety plan. The parents are more likely to expose the kid by going to her.

If this is THAT big an issue what really should happen is some type of communication between rooms, IE, some alarm parents can trigger to alert the daughter that someone might be in the house. There is no safer place for the kid than to use her escape hatch into an attic that is only accessible through a bedroom closet. Unless the burglar knows the house intimately, they aren't going to find the kid before the police come. So in THIS situation, everyone is better off by alerting the kid via phone/intercom/something to get into the attic and parents jumping out the window together. The house appears empty, they can call the police.

Saying dad should go start throwing punches because its more manly is just incredibly stupid. Mom's plan, while instinctually I understand it, is very stupid and increases the likelihood for people to get hurt and for the kid to witness someone she loves get hurt or killed.

I never suggested punches.

This is what OP suggested:

I would try to distract the burglars, give them our valuables, and focus on staying calm and keeping my daughter out of danger. Should it ever get very bad, I would not hesitate to sacrifice myself in order to save my child.

That to me does not read like a thought out plan, it looks emotional and like it will increase the liklihood of someone getting hurt. I guess from your ominous tone you believe the manly thing is to shoot the people. I don't think any valuable is really worth a person's life and if my husband chose violence over smart choices just to look tough I would be really disappointed in him.

Sounds as if you've never encountered burglars like these. It's why we have a dog, although he could get shot, too.
https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/south-fulton-county/3-men-on-trial-for-killing-woman-hiding-in-closet-during-home-invasion/455783527/

You're right I haven't, because home invasions like that are extremely rare. I also have a dog that would scare the crap out of the average person.

Some stats, to put this risk in context:

An estimated 3.7 million burglaries occurred each year on average from 2003 to 2007. - Using a stat of roughly 140M households in the US this translates into 2% of households being burgled in some way (everything from home invasion to having a bike stolen)

*A household member was present in roughly 1 million burglaries and became victims of violent crimes in 266,560 burglaries. - This means only 7% of burglaries result in a household member being a victim of violence. 7% of 2% translates to a personal risk of .1% chance, certainly higher or lower depending on where you live

*Offenders were known to their victims in 65% of violent burglaries; offenders were strangers in 28%. - IF you do experience violence in a burglary it is almost certainly at the hands of someone you know

*Overall, 61% of offenders were unarmed when violence occurred during a burglary while a resident was present. About 12% of all households violently burglarized while someone was home faced an offender armed with a firearm. - 12% of households who were burglarized WHILE someone was home translates to 120,000 roughly.

*Serious injury accounted for 9% and minor injury accounted for 36% of injuries sustained by household members who were home and experienced violence during a completed burglary. - So even if you are in a burglary where there is violence you only have a .006% chance of being seriously injured if you are being burgled

Source: https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/ascii/vdhb.txt#:~:text=In%207%25%20of%20all%20household%20burglaries%2C%20someone%20was%20home%20at,place%20each%20year%20on%20average.

Reading between the lines here we can also extrapolate some conclusions. The largest being if you ARE seriously injured during a burglary it almost certainly happened at the hands of someone you knew, and was likely intentional and targeted.

You are also a lot more likely to face these situations if you live in a poor area.

So if you are like most DCUM posters and live in some MC/UMC area and don't have some enemy the odds of you being violently injured in a home invasion are extremely rare. There are 332M people in the US so you have, with no weights for your personal situation, a .000007% chance of being the victim of a violent home invasion.

Additionally, there is a substantial cost to your child if they are witness to extreme violence, so if you shot a burglar and your child witnessed it that would not be a 'positive outcome' for your kid. So yes I believe that when faced with a home invasion the smartest thing to do is to, as quickly as possible, make it appear that there is no one home and to contact the authorities. And to be very aware of any relationships that you have in your family's life that could result in someone wanting to harm you.

This confrontation tactic is macho and not backed up in data. And again, in this specific situation the daughter in question has an excellent place to hide, far superior to a closet.

PP here. Home invasions are not rare in the Atlanta area, even for families with gates and alarm systems. I'm not saying it's a common occurrence, but definitely not rare; and the perpetrators are not kind, young teens.

[Anonymous]

From my friend that was a public defender who represented a lot of buglarers:

— burglaries are different than home invasions. Burglars looks for people on vacation or at work/school or possibly sound asleep — they don’t want to run into people and will try to get out if they are surprised by someone. Home invaders don’t care or are affirmatively looking for people.
— burglars dislike dogs because they are loud and unpredictable — maybe they can shoot them but it’s hard because they move fast, have muscle, don’t have a big open chest target like a human.
— many burglars are unarmed or have unloaded guns because the penalities are so much higher for robbery with a loaded weapon.

Not from my friend but I know home invaders will often tie people up and use their ATM cards for cash. They’ve been doing that for over 30 years.

As to what burglars steal, computers and nice bikes all have good resale value. And still TVs. Wallets are good for cash but also credit cards that can be used quickly to buy cash cards. I think some steal jewelry even though the resale value generally is bad — my sister had all my grandmother’s jewelry stolen. It broke her heart and the burglar probably got a few hundred for the lot of it, as it was mostly costume or very simple things with very small stones.

[Anonymous]

For fire purposes it’s probably better for kids to have a second way out of house. One of my kids could easily escape t through her bedroom window — another could get to the siblings room without coming into the hall but the third is sort of stuck. I would get them a drop ladder but I’m weighing that risk against the risk of them sneaking out at night and doing something dumb.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Where we live burglars look for jewelry and expensive watches. I hear they head straight to the master closet.

The debate is whether it is worth hiding the jewelry or putting it in a safe. Perhaps it's better to leave it easily accessible, so that the burglars find something quickly and leave.

[Anonymous]

A gun. We have a security system but I’ve had a handgun and AR-15 since I was a single female living alone. I have several military family members and my brother hunts and builds his own guns. I’ve taken numerous classes for gun shooting and safety, as well as self-defense classes. I still would use my AR-15 as it’s been proven to be the most effective as a defense weapon.

My husband is former military and also heavily trained in shooting. We would use guns as our top defense, besides our alarm system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have thought about getting a gun, but decided against it, for the following reason: in the past six months at my daughter's stressful elite private school three children committed suicides (unrelated to each other), each of them with the gun of their parents.

Besides, if the gun is kept fairly secured and hidden, there might not be enough time to get it.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive but those kids would’ve found another way to commit suicide. I believe majority of suicide deaths are via hanging, not guns. It was an accessible and much easier way, but I think they would’ve found an alternative way if a gun wasn’t accessible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a gun and practice using it. It’s your job to protect your family.

Right, so you can mow down your DH when he gets home early from a business trip.

Guns do way more harm in these types of situations that good. There is very good hard data on that. Home invasions, with intent to harm people, are INCREDIBLY rare. Accidental firearm deaths are not nearly as rare. Suicides too.

Yes but when you have 1+ suspects breaking in, you damn sure I’m using my gun. Most likely they will be armed, and many robbers will use their weapon if scared or feel threatened. Many robbers are drug addicts or mentally ill, and will likely to erratic in behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Nobody seems to have picked up on anything strange regarding my husband's planned reaction. He would flee the house and leave our daughter in the house together with the burglars.

In my opinion this would greatly increase the risk of an encounter between our daughter and the burglars. The likelihood is low that the police would get there in time.

I could never do this, and consider his attitude extremely cowardly. I am stunned that he would put his safety and well-being above that of our daughter.

Does anybody feel like that or am I crazy?

It sounds like you married a coward wimp. Choose a real man next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol these responses. I hope people are just pretending they’re more woke than they actually are because, if I’m a burglar, man I’m raiding y’all’s homes tonight. A burglar has a gun. Get one or don’t get one, but your “run and hide” plan is…cute.

+1. Most burglars are armed. Most are robbing to feed a drug habit or are homeless and mentally ill. Most are not mentally well and their behavior can be dangerous. It’s best to arm yourself and not take that chance. Majority of homeowners hurt or killed are those without a weapon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will get my gun first. Won’t hesitate to shoot.

so you'd like go down stairs and shoot them proactively? If they were on their way out the door with 3 ipads they'd grabbed from your counter...would you still shoot them? or is it more if they started coming to where you were you'd shoot them? some people seem so eager for an excuse to shoot someone when most burglars are just taking the $1000 uppababy out of the garage to resell and aren't armed or a threat to you

I’m a gun owner and will use a gun. I would not shoot someone who stole and is exiting my home. I will, however, shoot them upon entry or if they turn around and advance towards me. Weapon or no weapon, I have the right to shoot if they enter my home. I don’t care if they have a weapon or not.

Once you break into someone’s home, you forfeit your life.