NOT redshirting an August birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a late-summer birthday kid, and enrolled her in preschool at 2 and kindergarten at barely 5. She was always one of the youngest kids in class.

Her behavior marks in the early years of school (preK-3) weren't as good as the older kids in class. She didn't have as much self-control, due to being a full year younger than other kids in class. Teachers would point it out.

But over time, she learned to work hard for what she wanted. She developed a strong work ethic to get what came so easily for the "older" kids in her class. By upper elementary, you couldn't tell she was the youngest one. She started college at 17, is now on the dean's list and doing well.

Enroll your kid on time, OP. Don't hold him back. There will be a few "why can't your kid act like the kids one full year older??" moments, but soldier on. It will all work out well.

Yes, really want my child to develop work ethic via likely exposure to bullying and struggling through school. “but she’s on the dean’s list now!” 🙄

OTSS Only The Strong Survive! It's survival of the fittest starting in kindergarten. What a great concept!

This feels dramatic. I don’t think our parents thought this much about age cutoffs and redshirting and everyone is fine.

I went to half day kindergarten with naps, play time, singing, art, and fun. No reading. Kindergarten has evolved.

That is not k.

It was in the 80s when "our parents" were making decisions and we all turned out fine. If we all turned out so well, why did they tinker with something that wasn't broke?

My parents sent me to a full day k with academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find all the people claiming their kids would be “so bored” to be odd, but I generally think parents claiming their children are so smart that school bores them to be a little bit of a red flag. I didn’t redshirt, just my general life observations.

How would it be a red flag? In my opinion, a parent who fails to do what's best for their kid just because of peer pressure is a red flag

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

It’s actually only a thing among kids who have weak social skills and bad parents. Those poor kids bully everyone and are widely disliked. I believe that you were in that category so you think it’s everyone, but it’s not.

Signed,

Parent of multiple teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find all the people claiming their kids would be “so bored” to be odd, but I generally think parents claiming their children are so smart that school bores them to be a little bit of a red flag. I didn’t redshirt, just my general life observations.

How would it be a red flag? In my opinion, a parent who fails to do what's best for their kid just because of peer pressure is a red flag

Usually parents who claim their kid is “so bored” aren’t really looking critically at their child’s actual academic needs and are instead basing their statements on their own egos as parents. It’s usually bad parenting tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a late-summer birthday kid, and enrolled her in preschool at 2 and kindergarten at barely 5. She was always one of the youngest kids in class.

Her behavior marks in the early years of school (preK-3) weren't as good as the older kids in class. She didn't have as much self-control, due to being a full year younger than other kids in class. Teachers would point it out.

But over time, she learned to work hard for what she wanted. She developed a strong work ethic to get what came so easily for the "older" kids in her class. By upper elementary, you couldn't tell she was the youngest one. She started college at 17, is now on the dean's list and doing well.

Enroll your kid on time, OP. Don't hold him back. There will be a few "why can't your kid act like the kids one full year older??" moments, but soldier on. It will all work out well.

Yes, really want my child to develop work ethic via likely exposure to bullying and struggling through school. “but she’s on the dean’s list now!” 🙄

OTSS Only The Strong Survive! It's survival of the fittest starting in kindergarten. What a great concept!

This feels dramatic. I don’t think our parents thought this much about age cutoffs and redshirting and everyone is fine.

I went to half day kindergarten with naps, play time, singing, art, and fun. No reading. Kindergarten has evolved.

That is not k.

It was in the 80s when "our parents" were making decisions and we all turned out fine. If we all turned out so well, why did they tinker with something that wasn't broke?

My parents sent me to a full day k with academics.

In the 80s? Because that wasn't the norm. Outliers don't change facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

[Anonymous]

Disservice to a child who is developmentally ready and prepared to start school. Let your children keep learning when they are young and little sponges; don’t let them waste their enthusiasm for learning by forcing them to sit through a year of rudimentary lessons and tasks they already have completed successfully. They won’t make academic achievements and stay engaged and interested in learning the way they would if they went to school when they are supposed to, we’re introduced to age appropriate material and weren’t stuck with much younger kids just learning the ABCs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disservice to a child who is developmentally ready and prepared to start school. Let your children keep learning when they are young and little sponges; don’t let them waste their enthusiasm for learning by forcing them to sit through a year of rudimentary lessons and tasks they already have completed successfully. They won’t make academic achievements and stay engaged and interested in learning the way they would if they went to school when they are supposed to, we’re introduced to age appropriate material and weren’t stuck with much younger kids just learning the ABCs.

Cool. Now you do you and let everyone else make their own choices. Because all of this "noise" is just that. You really have no clue what you're talking about nor a shred of evidence to support your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Let me tell it to you straight. You're full of shit and this doesn't happen. I have several kids and never have I ever heard a parent talk about a kid being "redshirted" or judge any parent for having done so. It's just you honey, nobody else is like this.