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I get paid a lot of money to do a flexible job from my house, like the PP. And I am an introvert and struggle when I am watching my kids full time. I get flustered and stressed and unhappy. And this is NOT because I don't like my kids or I don't like being a mom. I love them more than anything and I love being their mom. But I really just need recharge time and when I don't get it I am a less good mom.
My husband chooses to be a working dad because we really need two salaries to subsist though. He would rather not work I think. |
PP here who has this job. I also have the best boss ever who also has small kids. |
Working moms are described as “drones”. A heart surgeon is called “sad”. That’s not the response of people who are secure in their choices. |
| For the same reasons my husband is a working dad. |
First, are you Ivanka Trump? |
+1 |
| Because we need the money to survive. Most people work just for their living; only a very small and privileged part of the population can say about themeselves they work to contribute to society, to make a career, love their fullfilling job, are so smart that the world will collapse without their work. Honestly i would have liked to stay home when the children were little. |
| Because I want to, need to, and because I want my son to see that women are professionals. |
| Why do I have to justify my decision to work just because I am a woman? |
My mom had a pretty good SAHM experience, but we had grandparents nearby to help out. She'd always planned to go back to work, but it never happened, I think primarily due to lack of opportunities for women in her field where we lived (this was in the 1980s). But to the PP's point, we also watched several of her SAHM friends have terrible experiences with abuse and divorce, where they were left with multiple kids, few resources, and little/no support from their ex-husbands or families. In one abuse case the friend's family turned on her after she left her husband because "he was so nice, and a doctor!" My mom made it very, very clear that I needed to be able to support myself and any kids I might have. |
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Because my family offered free childcare and it made no sense for me not to work. Free childcare allowed me to cut my works hours to 80% so that was even better. It was a no-brainer.
I like my job, I like working, I like being around other adults and I like learning new things. I like the fact that I will have plenty of money for retirement and that I can fully fund my kids' college education. My husband does OK but I don't want to have to budget every single penny. And I don't want him to be so stressed with work that he can't enjoy parenting either. We went through that for a period and it was awful. |
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I worked for a long time until my youngest was 10 (3 kids). It was always crazy and reconciling the schedule was always a huge part of my "off-time" I always told myself it was worth it because I didn't think I was great with them when they were younger (lack of patience, expected too much, etc...).
When the lock downs came, I was able to work from home but started to realize that I really didn't enjoy my job. The kids needed more support with distance learning and they were involved in several activities that started meeting earlier in the evening or late afternoon since everyone was WAH. I found that I loved spending time with my kids once they were older. They still needed me, perhaps even more, as their social lives and academic challenges/college applications became more sophisticated and harder to navigate on their own. So, I quit my job. We have a lot less money but it is working out. This is my second summer at home and having the flexibility to do day trips, registering them in half-day camps and activities,and supervising college essay writing has been great. Do I miss the extra money? Sure, who wouldn't? But I do not miss the anxiety and stress of my job. That said, I realize that I'm lucky that my DH is very supportive and sees that having me home is a positive all around for our family. I will never regret spending this time with my kids. |
| It's important for my mental health and sense of self to have a career. |
| I just want to note on behalf of the working moms that we still spend a ton of time with our kids. People say things like "why have kids if you don't want to raise them" or whatever, as if putting your kids in childcare during the workday means you never see them. I spend hours and hours with my kids every day. I don't need to spend literally every waking hour with them to be a parent. |
Same. I couldn’t really afford to work when my kids were little (I’m a social worker so my salary didn’t cover a good daycare for 3) and I liked staying home for a while but it’s been great to go back to work for the reasons you listed. |