Official Holiday Petty Complaints Thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to insist a couple years that MIL stop labeling all the gifts under the tree as being from Santa. Santa gifts are for our house only. Grown adults should not be getting gifts from Santa, crazy lady.

Did she do it this year again?

You seem a little inflexible on the rules for an imaginary character.

Hm. I know very few people who let grandparents take credit for Santa gifts. They had their turn, let the parents have their own go.

I couldn’t care less about this and I’m thrilled that I don’t have to buy Christmas gifts for my kid because the grandparents load her up. They can all be from Santa. A lot of you have some strange pathology about Santa.

[Anonymous]

My parents and ILs want to impose Santa on our kids, and we don’t want to do the whole Santa thing. So yeah, it does matter to some of us. We celebrate Christmas, but to DH and I, Santa has nothing to do with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in town for the week with my family, staying at my parents’ house. First night here, had a glass of wine and eyes swelled shut within minutes. I AM NOW ALLERGIC TO WINE. I have spent 5 nights with 7 people in a 1400 sf house. Steroids and eye drops and 5 days later I still look like I went 5 rounds with Muhammad Ali, my sister is driving me nuts, and my usual family coping strategy is off limits.

Plus, time change man…it’s brutal on kids and adults alike.

Wait, we can develop adult-onset wine allergies????

You win the thread.

+1
I almost spit out my morning wine reading this terrible news.
Maybe it was some of the tannins or sediments in the particular wine, PP (she says as if she knows anything about magic grape drink)

Yes this is terrifying to read!

But PP loved the phrase "morning wine" - we have all been there...

[Anonymous]

Petty complaint: The kitchen hovering by my mother as I perform simple tasks like making instant hot chocolate or crescent rolls from a tube. I am 50 years old and have a graduate degree and yet she feels compelled to comment on the level of brownness, milk vs water, etc etc. as if there is a real danger of failure here. I love her but Jesus Christ stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in town for the week with my family, staying at my parents’ house. First night here, had a glass of wine and eyes swelled shut within minutes. I AM NOW ALLERGIC TO WINE. I have spent 5 nights with 7 people in a 1400 sf house. Steroids and eye drops and 5 days later I still look like I went 5 rounds with Muhammad Ali, my sister is driving me nuts, and my usual family coping strategy is off limits.

Plus, time change man…it’s brutal on kids and adults alike.

Wait, we can develop adult-onset wine allergies????

You win the thread.

+1
I almost spit out my morning wine reading this terrible news.
Maybe it was some of the tannins or sediments in the particular wine, PP (she says as if she knows anything about magic grape drink)

Yes this is terrifying to read!

But PP loved the phrase "morning wine" - we have all been there...

Time to switch to vodka.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent 15 hours sewing and cross stitching a stocking for my new SIL and she didn't say thank you. (Everyone in the family has the same style stocking--adults and kids. It's our tradition.)

Maybe she doesn’t like it. I mean, I would still say thank you, but I hate the whole Assimilate: ONE OF US mentality. Maybe it’s not her style, or maybe she’s not that into celebrating Christmas with stuff, stuff, more things, stuff, more things.

It’s…a Christmas stocking. If she didn’t make one for SIL, she’d complain that she isn’t seen as a part of the family. For the cross-stitch pp, are you sure she knows you made it?

Yeah, and? It’s a Christmas stocking. I personally wouldn’t care at all not to have one. I think they’re kitschy, and not in a good way. If you like them, great. I personally hate the cross-stitching aesthetic. But whatever you like that’s great.

I always make fun of the “I feel sorry for you” posters but I really do feel sorry for you! It’s not about the Christmas stocking, it’s about welcoming to the family, but somehow you consider that some sort of ASSIMILATE-ONE OF US insult. If this is typical of your personality, I’m honestly amazed someone married you.

I treat the people who date or marry into my family as individuals. I pay attention to what they like. I would ask someone who has different tastes if they would like a stocking, in a way that made it clear it would be my pleasure to make them one. “Meredith, I was hoping to make you a traditional Smith Family-style something, if you would like one. If you are interested, please let me know what colors you prefer.” It’s a lovely gesture, but not if someone doesn’t like the item or the style or what have you. Would you make a Christmas stocking for a Jewish person who married into the family without asking?!

My ILs have never paid attention to my likes and my interests. They simply push their preferences on me. For example, they get me dark chocolate every year because that’s MIL/SIL’s favorite, even though they know I do not like dark chocolate. They even SAY, “We know you don’t like dark chocolate, but it’s tradition.” They get me what they get each other, even though they know I don’t like Vera Bradley and that kind of aesthetic. At what point is it the opposite of “welcoming” when people literally never ask for your preferences or likes/dislikes, and just get you what they like and tell you as you’re opening it, “I know you won’t like this.”

NP here but laughing because this is a ridiculous take. And for the record my mom got (didn’t make) my Jewish DH a cross stitch stocking the first Christmas he celebrated with our family and he was so incredibly happy because he’s never had a stocking before!

+1. Would you not hang a stocking for an in law or sibling’s spouse because they’re Jewish? How incredibly rude.

My first Christmas with my ILs (and I am not Jewish, I celebrate Christmas) they did not hang a stocking for me. There were stockings for their kids and for them. I’m just sitting there like an outsider with nothing. It was the first Christmas I hadn’t spent with my own family, so I was already a bit melancholy, but not being included in anything was pretty awful. But, a telling narrative for how our relationship has been. ILs are not family in their world. So I’ve learned to treat them as not family either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting with my son’s wife and family. My DIL will not drop everything to answer the phone. Even after the ringing has stopped, she won’t rush to the phone to see who called. It’s making me crazy that someone can behave like that. She’s the worst!

I never answer the phone if I don’t recognize the number. My house phone has caller ID and will tell me who is calling so I don’t even have to get up to hear that it’s no one I want to talk to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty complaint: The kitchen hovering by my mother as I perform simple tasks like making instant hot chocolate or crescent rolls from a tube. I am 50 years old and have a graduate degree and yet she feels compelled to comment on the level of brownness, milk vs water, etc etc. as if there is a real danger of failure here. I love her but Jesus Christ stop

Hey sis, thanks for taking mom this year. I’ll host her next year. Xoxo

[Anonymous]

If someone from another religion marries into your family, you need to ask before making them a Christmas stocking. I have friends who are Jewish who truly dislike Christmas being imposed on them. It’s a nice gesture, but you ASK if they would like one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent 15 hours sewing and cross stitching a stocking for my new SIL and she didn't say thank you. (Everyone in the family has the same style stocking--adults and kids. It's our tradition.)

Maybe she doesn’t like it. I mean, I would still say thank you, but I hate the whole Assimilate: ONE OF US mentality. Maybe it’s not her style, or maybe she’s not that into celebrating Christmas with stuff, stuff, more things, stuff, more things.

It’s…a Christmas stocking. If she didn’t make one for SIL, she’d complain that she isn’t seen as a part of the family. For the cross-stitch pp, are you sure she knows you made it?

Yeah, and? It’s a Christmas stocking. I personally wouldn’t care at all not to have one. I think they’re kitschy, and not in a good way. If you like them, great. I personally hate the cross-stitching aesthetic. But whatever you like that’s great.

I always make fun of the “I feel sorry for you” posters but I really do feel sorry for you! It’s not about the Christmas stocking, it’s about welcoming to the family, but somehow you consider that some sort of ASSIMILATE-ONE OF US insult. If this is typical of your personality, I’m honestly amazed someone married you.

I treat the people who date or marry into my family as individuals. I pay attention to what they like. I would ask someone who has different tastes if they would like a stocking, in a way that made it clear it would be my pleasure to make them one. “Meredith, I was hoping to make you a traditional Smith Family-style something, if you would like one. If you are interested, please let me know what colors you prefer.” It’s a lovely gesture, but not if someone doesn’t like the item or the style or what have you. Would you make a Christmas stocking for a Jewish person who married into the family without asking?!

My ILs have never paid attention to my likes and my interests. They simply push their preferences on me. For example, they get me dark chocolate every year because that’s MIL/SIL’s favorite, even though they know I do not like dark chocolate. They even SAY, “We know you don’t like dark chocolate, but it’s tradition.” They get me what they get each other, even though they know I don’t like Vera Bradley and that kind of aesthetic. At what point is it the opposite of “welcoming” when people literally never ask for your preferences or likes/dislikes, and just get you what they like and tell you as you’re opening it, “I know you won’t like this.”

NP here but laughing because this is a ridiculous take. And for the record my mom got (didn’t make) my Jewish DH a cross stitch stocking the first Christmas he celebrated with our family and he was so incredibly happy because he’s never had a stocking before!

+1. Would you not hang a stocking for an in law or sibling’s spouse because they’re Jewish? How incredibly rude.

My first Christmas with my ILs (and I am not Jewish, I celebrate Christmas) they did not hang a stocking for me. There were stockings for their kids and for them. I’m just sitting there like an outsider with nothing. It was the first Christmas I hadn’t spent with my own family, so I was already a bit melancholy, but not being included in anything was pretty awful. But, a telling narrative for how our relationship has been. ILs are not family in their world. So I’ve learned to treat them as not family either.

Your husband sucks. My sister and I both discussed how the day would go when we brought boyfriend/fiancée along for the first Christmas, so my parents had stocking-level gifts for them to open. Then once married they got personalized stockings.

Your husband is actually to blame for this scenario

[Anonymous]

My MIL had a total meltdown. To the point that we've only seen them once in 6 months and were only staying for 4 days. She spent the rest of the day not interacting with us, including her husband or her only grandchild (who she loves). Too bad she won't treat her anxiety!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to insist a couple years that MIL stop labeling all the gifts under the tree as being from Santa. Santa gifts are for our house only. Grown adults should not be getting gifts from Santa, crazy lady.

Did she do it this year again?

You seem a little inflexible on the rules for an imaginary character.

Hm. I know very few people who let grandparents take credit for Santa gifts. They had their turn, let the parents have their own go.

Im reading it as the adults are getting Santa gifts. She’s mad adults are getting gifts from Santa at a hime not their own. Makes little sense.

You're quoting me and you're right, I should have been more clear! My point wasn't really about adults getting Santa gifts (other than it's a little weird) - the reason I asked her to stop though was because we didn't want our kids to get Santa gifts at their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent 15 hours sewing and cross stitching a stocking for my new SIL and she didn't say thank you. (Everyone in the family has the same style stocking--adults and kids. It's our tradition.)

Maybe she doesn’t like it. I mean, I would still say thank you, but I hate the whole Assimilate: ONE OF US mentality. Maybe it’s not her style, or maybe she’s not that into celebrating Christmas with stuff, stuff, more things, stuff, more things.

It’s…a Christmas stocking. If she didn’t make one for SIL, she’d complain that she isn’t seen as a part of the family. For the cross-stitch pp, are you sure she knows you made it?

Yeah, and? It’s a Christmas stocking. I personally wouldn’t care at all not to have one. I think they’re kitschy, and not in a good way. If you like them, great. I personally hate the cross-stitching aesthetic. But whatever you like that’s great.

I always make fun of the “I feel sorry for you” posters but I really do feel sorry for you! It’s not about the Christmas stocking, it’s about welcoming to the family, but somehow you consider that some sort of ASSIMILATE-ONE OF US insult. If this is typical of your personality, I’m honestly amazed someone married you.

I treat the people who date or marry into my family as individuals. I pay attention to what they like. I would ask someone who has different tastes if they would like a stocking, in a way that made it clear it would be my pleasure to make them one. “Meredith, I was hoping to make you a traditional Smith Family-style something, if you would like one. If you are interested, please let me know what colors you prefer.” It’s a lovely gesture, but not if someone doesn’t like the item or the style or what have you. Would you make a Christmas stocking for a Jewish person who married into the family without asking?!

My ILs have never paid attention to my likes and my interests. They simply push their preferences on me. For example, they get me dark chocolate every year because that’s MIL/SIL’s favorite, even though they know I do not like dark chocolate. They even SAY, “We know you don’t like dark chocolate, but it’s tradition.” They get me what they get each other, even though they know I don’t like Vera Bradley and that kind of aesthetic. At what point is it the opposite of “welcoming” when people literally never ask for your preferences or likes/dislikes, and just get you what they like and tell you as you’re opening it, “I know you won’t like this.”

NP here but laughing because this is a ridiculous take. And for the record my mom got (didn’t make) my Jewish DH a cross stitch stocking the first Christmas he celebrated with our family and he was so incredibly happy because he’s never had a stocking before!

+1. Would you not hang a stocking for an in law or sibling’s spouse because they’re Jewish? How incredibly rude.

My first Christmas with my ILs (and I am not Jewish, I celebrate Christmas) they did not hang a stocking for me. There were stockings for their kids and for them. I’m just sitting there like an outsider with nothing. It was the first Christmas I hadn’t spent with my own family, so I was already a bit melancholy, but not being included in anything was pretty awful. But, a telling narrative for how our relationship has been. ILs are not family in their world. So I’ve learned to treat them as not family either.

Your husband sucks. My sister and I both discussed how the day would go when we brought boyfriend/fiancée along for the first Christmas, so my parents had stocking-level gifts for them to open. Then once married they got personalized stockings.

Your husband is actually to blame for this scenario

My in-laws didn't get me my own stocking, they just give me and my husband a combined stocking. Is that maybe what they intended? Were the things in your husband's stocking things you could share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do stockings for our family of 5. This includes the adults, I buy useful and fun items for everyone, including 1 or 2 things for my own stocking. It would be nice of just once, my husband or older teens thought to put something in my stocking as a surprise.

Although, on the bright side, I do get what I want!

I would lose my mind if we did adult stockings. We only do stockings for the kids. Last thing I need is more useless junk

We only ever did stockings for kids. Our story was that stockings are filled by Santa and Santa only brings gifts for kids. Well, ILs were purging their attic and gave DH his childhood stocking, along with a generic stocking from TJMaxx or someplace. So we put them up, but then on Christmas Eve while filling the kids stockings we decided Santa should fill our stockings too so we put a bottle of wine in each of the adult stockings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent 15 hours sewing and cross stitching a stocking for my new SIL and she didn't say thank you. (Everyone in the family has the same style stocking--adults and kids. It's our tradition.)

Maybe she doesn’t like it. I mean, I would still say thank you, but I hate the whole Assimilate: ONE OF US mentality. Maybe it’s not her style, or maybe she’s not that into celebrating Christmas with stuff, stuff, more things, stuff, more things.

It’s…a Christmas stocking. If she didn’t make one for SIL, she’d complain that she isn’t seen as a part of the family. For the cross-stitch pp, are you sure she knows you made it?

Yeah, and? It’s a Christmas stocking. I personally wouldn’t care at all not to have one. I think they’re kitschy, and not in a good way. If you like them, great. I personally hate the cross-stitching aesthetic. But whatever you like that’s great.

I always make fun of the “I feel sorry for you” posters but I really do feel sorry for you! It’s not about the Christmas stocking, it’s about welcoming to the family, but somehow you consider that some sort of ASSIMILATE-ONE OF US insult. If this is typical of your personality, I’m honestly amazed someone married you.

I treat the people who date or marry into my family as individuals. I pay attention to what they like. I would ask someone who has different tastes if they would like a stocking, in a way that made it clear it would be my pleasure to make them one. “Meredith, I was hoping to make you a traditional Smith Family-style something, if you would like one. If you are interested, please let me know what colors you prefer.” It’s a lovely gesture, but not if someone doesn’t like the item or the style or what have you. Would you make a Christmas stocking for a Jewish person who married into the family without asking?!

My ILs have never paid attention to my likes and my interests. They simply push their preferences on me. For example, they get me dark chocolate every year because that’s MIL/SIL’s favorite, even though they know I do not like dark chocolate. They even SAY, “We know you don’t like dark chocolate, but it’s tradition.” They get me what they get each other, even though they know I don’t like Vera Bradley and that kind of aesthetic. At what point is it the opposite of “welcoming” when people literally never ask for your preferences or likes/dislikes, and just get you what they like and tell you as you’re opening it, “I know you won’t like this.”

NP here but laughing because this is a ridiculous take. And for the record my mom got (didn’t make) my Jewish DH a cross stitch stocking the first Christmas he celebrated with our family and he was so incredibly happy because he’s never had a stocking before!

+1. Would you not hang a stocking for an in law or sibling’s spouse because they’re Jewish? How incredibly rude.

My first Christmas with my ILs (and I am not Jewish, I celebrate Christmas) they did not hang a stocking for me. There were stockings for their kids and for them. I’m just sitting there like an outsider with nothing. It was the first Christmas I hadn’t spent with my own family, so I was already a bit melancholy, but not being included in anything was pretty awful. But, a telling narrative for how our relationship has been. ILs are not family in their world. So I’ve learned to treat them as not family either.

That's awful. I am Jewish, and don't do Christmas, but one time in college I went to a friend's house for Christmas eve dinner and her mom had hung a stocking for me! And her mom isn't even a nice person most of the time! It was very kind of her to have included me. I can't imagine a family so cold they don't do that for an inlaw.