Why are relationships so hard?

[Anonymous]

Opposite sex romantic relationships seem so hard to me. On one hand you can meet someone feel amazing sparks and it’s incredible. But long-terms relationships are just so much hassle. The disagreements and being taken for granted. It’s so frustrating!

[Anonymous]

Married twelve years , it’s exhausting

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's hard if you put in effort each day. It's like keeping your room clean - if you tidy for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before bed, your bedroom never gets too messy. But if you don't invest that time and effort, it becomes a HUGE, overwhelming mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Opposite sex romantic relationships seem so hard to me. On one hand you can meet someone feel amazing sparks and it’s incredible. But long-terms relationships are just so much hassle. The disagreements and being taken for granted. It’s so frustrating!

Long term relationships are hard but if you take time to pick a kind and responsible partner and be one for them, it ain't that hard unless life throws in many curveballs at once.

[Anonymous]

Relationships are like marathons. If you put all of your energy and passion in the first mile you will never complete the race. Too often people are overwhelmed with early relationship passions and never get to really understand and know their partner. A question to ask is could this person be my best friend in 25 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Opposite sex romantic relationships seem so hard to me. On one hand you can meet someone feel amazing sparks and it’s incredible. But long-terms relationships are just so much hassle. The disagreements and being taken for granted. It’s so frustrating!

Yes, because you have to consider the other person's needs, feelings and wishes. To maintain a relationship you have to give and receive. You have to grow together and sometimes that means giving up behaviors, habits and ideas which don't fit into your future. Dh and I are both middle kids and I think it gave us the skills needed for a successful relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's hard if you put in effort each day. It's like keeping your room clean - if you tidy for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before bed, your bedroom never gets too messy. But if you don't invest that time and effort, it becomes a HUGE, overwhelming mess.

Can you talk a little about what that daily effort looks like to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relationships are like marathons. If you put all of your energy and passion in the first mile you will never complete the race. Too often people are overwhelmed with early relationship passions and never get to really understand and know their partner. A question to ask is could this person be my best friend in 25 years?

It’s a marathon with an unknown course and unlimited potential obstacles and midway thru you realise the person you started has turned into stranger, and, oh, you are now your mother.

Good luck training for that!!

[Anonymous]

Read something interesting said by Cindy Crawford's husband. "Cindy and I were friends before we started dating and we're still friends". Not a bad way to look at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's hard if you put in effort each day. It's like keeping your room clean - if you tidy for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before bed, your bedroom never gets too messy. But if you don't invest that time and effort, it becomes a HUGE, overwhelming mess.

Can you talk a little about what that daily effort looks like to you?

NP. Making an effort to be kind, even when you’re feeling grouchy, for example. Remembering small things that your SO appreciates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read something interesting said by Cindy Crawford's husband. "Cindy and I were friends before we started dating and we're still friends". Not a bad way to look at it.

My husband and I were very good friends for about three years before we finally got together. We’ve been happily married 32 years and being good friends really helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Opposite sex romantic relationships seem so hard to me. On one hand you can meet someone feel amazing sparks and it’s incredible. But long-terms relationships are just so much hassle. The disagreements and being taken for granted. It’s so frustrating!

Yes, because you have to consider the other person's needs, feelings and wishes. To maintain a relationship you have to give and receive. You have to grow together and sometimes that means giving up behaviors, habits and ideas which don't fit into your future. Dh and I are both middle kids and I think it gave us the skills needed for a successful relationship.

Can others talk about behaviors, habits, or ideas they’ve given up to be in a relationship? Or things you partner had to give up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's hard if you put in effort each day. It's like keeping your room clean - if you tidy for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before bed, your bedroom never gets too messy. But if you don't invest that time and effort, it becomes a HUGE, overwhelming mess.

Can you talk a little about what that daily effort looks like to you?

It’s a lot of things. Last week he had a big client meeting and that morning as he walked out the door I blasted the theme song from Rocky for him. I try to compliment often and if I have to criticize do it privately and be succinct in saying what I want him to change . I apologize whenever I should. We normally do our own laundry but if he’s super busy I’ll do it for him. I got him flowers recently. The little things add up so much. I compliment him often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's hard if you put in effort each day. It's like keeping your room clean - if you tidy for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before bed, your bedroom never gets too messy. But if you don't invest that time and effort, it becomes a HUGE, overwhelming mess.

Can you talk a little about what that daily effort looks like to you?

It’s a lot of things. Last week he had a big client meeting and that morning as he walked out the door I blasted the theme song from Rocky for him. I try to compliment often and if I have to criticize do it privately and be succinct in saying what I want him to change . I apologize whenever I should. We normally do our own laundry but if he’s super busy I’ll do it for him. I got him flowers recently. The little things add up so much. I compliment him often.

Thank you. Can you share a little
About major compromises you’ve had to make in order for the marriage to work? Any personality traits you overlook?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always said that my relationship with DH is really really easy, it’s life that is hard.