Forgetting Birthday Parties

[Anonymous]

In the last month we've gotten 2 email invites for birthday parties with one week's notice (one for each kid). My kids never said anything, and I just forgot about them, one of which was yesterday. So now, older DS gets to go to school tomorrow and hear about the party he missed.

Feeling like a crap parent, but also wondering if one week's notice is the norm now? In the past, invites usually went out several weeks in advance and I never felt like I had to immediately respond. Does anyone else do this or just my disorganized self?

[Anonymous]

Are you saying you wouldn’t have forgotten if you had two weeks notice? I am confused.

[Anonymous]

Everyone does things differently - I've gotten invites 3 months out and one week out. We are very careful to make sure our kids don't miss out on things, and that they support their friends. Imagine if some poor 7 yr old had nobody come to their party because their mom and dad were so scatterbrained that they didn't get invites out until just a week before? It's not the kid's fault.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Usually with invites sent earlier there's a reminder sent, or the kids talk at school so my kids would mention it, or I might remember that there's an invite I need to respond to when I'm catching up on things later in the week.

Or I could have forgotten it, regardless. Just feeling bad for being that parent who doesn't RSVP.

[Anonymous]

We get Evites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We get Evites.

+2

And Evites automatically sends out reminder notifications 24 or 48 hrs prior.

Op - do you not mark kid activities on your phone calendar or any other calendar??
Do you "forget " soccer games, scout meetings, play dates, and the like too?

Step it up Op. You're doing a huge disservice to your kid and it's rude (and wasted money) to the host.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and invitations can be 2 months in advance to literally the day of. Some people are very last minute. Some don’t have large parties and plan a birthday celebration the week of so one week prior invitation isn’t that abnormal.

I usually send invitations 3-4 weeks prior. I think 2-3 weeks seems like the norm. 1 week is on the short notice side but not necessarily abnormal.

I don’t quite understand your reasoning about forgetting about it. Whether you had 2 weeks or 3 weeks notice, you could also have forgotten. The one week is almost better since you can easily see if you are available or not and rsvp right away. If you have too much notice, you may not know if you will have a conflict and not rsvp and forget. With just one week, you either have plans or not.

[Anonymous]

I also don’t see how the date of the invitation matters. Presumably a more recent invitation would be easier to remember. And as for forgetting, i think you know that very few people forget to go to a party after accepting an invitation.

[Anonymous]

How do you keep track of other appointments? Do whatever you do for that. We usually get more than a week's notice but that doesn't change what we do with it, it goes on the Google Calendar so we don't forget.

[Anonymous]

I always wonder about the kids whose parents don’t rsvp or even open the invitation. If it is a good friend who we actually hang out with, I will follow up. If it is just a classmate, I say nothing. I just assume they can’t come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always wonder about the kids whose parents don’t rsvp or even open the invitation. If it is a good friend who we actually hang out with, I will follow up. If it is just a classmate, I say nothing. I just assume they can’t come.

Sometimes if it’s an Evite, it goes to junk mail. That happened to me once and I felt bad because the host probably thought I was ignoring it. It doesn’t hurt just to reach out and ask if they are planning to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always wonder about the kids whose parents don’t rsvp or even open the invitation. If it is a good friend who we actually hang out with, I will follow up. If it is just a classmate, I say nothing. I just assume they can’t come.

Sometimes if it’s an Evite, it goes to junk mail. That happened to me once and I felt bad because the host probably thought I was ignoring it. It doesn’t hurt just to reach out and ask if they are planning to attend.

OMG yes. The random detour to junk mail or getting an evite on a day when there's an avalanche of other emails so it gets buried can definitely happen.

When I send out invites, I try to make sure there's at least one reminder, because we're all super busy and have too many things to keep track of, especially if you've got multiple kids or kids who are involved in lots of activities.

[Anonymous]

Put the parties on your family calendar as soon as you get the invite. Start it with “tentative” if you haven’t rsvped. When you rsvp remove the “tentative”.

[Anonymous]

I'd prefer a more recent invite actually. It kind of bugs me when they're sent a month in advance, I RSVP yes and then something major comes up and I have to cancel. 1-2 weeks is ideal.

[Anonymous]

Put the event in your iCalendar.