Can I break up with my boyfriend over this?

[Anonymous]

We have been dating since August. I'm not head over heels in love, but everything is great and we're having fun. My name is Maria. He calls me 'ria. The very first time he called me that, I asked him to please just call me Maria and I don't like Ria. He said it was a term of endearment. I said I don't like it. He is still doing it. He claims it's a nickname. I really hate it. Normally, he's very respectful of me, he believes in womens rights and all that entails. But he will not respect my wish to be called my full name. I'm at the point where I feel personally disrespected. Is it crazy to break up over this?

[Anonymous]

Not crazy. This would bother me a lot too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been dating since August. I'm not head over heels in love, but everything is great and we're having fun. My name is Maria. He calls me 'ria. The very first time he called me that, I asked him to please just call me Maria and I don't like Ria. He said it was a term of endearment. I said I don't like it. He is still doing it. He claims it's a nickname. I really hate it. Normally, he's very respectful of me, he believes in womens rights and all that entails. But he will not respect my wish to be called my full name. I'm at the point where I feel personally disrespected. Is it crazy to break up over this?

You've been dating someone who calls you the wrong name for 6 months. Nickname or not, it's not your name and you don't want to be called it and have communicated that multiple times. Duh, of course break up.

[Anonymous]

You should break up because you don’t love him. If you did, Ria wouldn’t bother you. Set yourselves both free to find the real thing.

Signed,
Wasted 7 years on a “good enough” relationship before finally wisening up.

[Anonymous]

Tell him you guys are done if he can't do implement this very basic of courtesies. He's one of those clueless men who believe they're supportive of women, but when it interferes with their own habits and proclivities, all that goes out of the window, and they're revealed to be the disrespectful people they really are.

[Anonymous]

You can break up with him for any reason.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely break up
He does not respect you at all.

[Anonymous]

I would. You’ve told him multiple times how you feel, & he insists that he knows better & tells you how you should feel. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Do break up.

He doesn't understand the concept of respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been dating since August. I'm not head over heels in love, but everything is great and we're having fun. My name is Maria. He calls me 'ria. The very first time he called me that, I asked him to please just call me Maria and I don't like Ria. He said it was a term of endearment. I said I don't like it. He is still doing it. He claims it's a nickname. I really hate it. Normally, he's very respectful of me, he believes in womens rights and all that entails. But he will not respect my wish to be called my full name. I'm at the point where I feel personally disrespected. Is it crazy to break up over this?

Not crazy. SMART. Why would he continue to call you something you don't like? Because he's a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I would give him an annoying nickname and then break up with him.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can. But if everything else is good, I'd simply tell him that if he does it one more time, you will leave the room/house/restaurant. Then if he does it again, leave for the day. Then give him one more chance.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. I'm going to do it. Tonight's date might be a little awkward. I've never broken up with anyone before.

My thinking is to run home and put the things of his that are in my apartment in a bag and bring the bag in my car so I can give it to him at the restaurant.

[Anonymous]

I really hope you've given him a warning that this is so serious for you that you're considering ending the relationship over it. You do need to be that explicit with him. Having mentioned that it annoys you a few times now and then isn't enough, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Unless this is actually symbolic of his disregard for your feelings, I wouldn't throw away a good relationship for this. Just use this as an opportunity to learn to advocate for what you want and need within the context of a loving relationship.