Help me make it through the next month and a half

[Anonymous]

Spouse is defendant in upcoming trial. I’m leaving the marriage regardless of the verdict, but need to present a supportive and united front through the trial for DC’s sake. Has anyone been through something like this? It’s been almost 2 years since this ordeal started and I’m really at the end of my rope. Would appreciate advice from anyone who’s been through something like this before.

[Anonymous]

What did they do?

[Anonymous]

My advice is always the same: pretend you're on a reality tv show, and come the reunion with Andy Cohen, you want to come off well. You don't want to have to struggle to answer why you lost your cool, or why you did or didn't do/say something. You want to come off as the accidental hero that makes other people think "I wish I could keep my composure and be that good an example for my kids!"

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Make sure to have an excellent therapist and people you can lean on as support. Ask for help from trusted confidantes.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is always the same: pretend you're on a reality tv show, and come the reunion with Andy Cohen, you want to come off well. You don't want to have to struggle to answer why you lost your cool, or why you did or didn't do/say something. You want to come off as the accidental hero that makes other people think "I wish I could keep my composure and be that good an example for my kids!"

This is great advice. Dissociate a little and focus on how you want to see yourself when you look back on this situation in a year or two. That kept me sane post-divorce when ex-H was acting erratic and being unkind.

[Anonymous]

Eat healthy, exercise like crazy even if you don't feel like it as you will sleep better - and get a hair & makeup person to come and do this for you daily as well as a stylist for great outfits - then you can play the part well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry you are going through this. Make sure to have an excellent therapist and people you can lean on as support. Ask for help from trusted confidantes.

Good luck.

Rationally, I agree with you, but I’ve been too afraid to confide in anyone, even a professional therapist legally bound by patient confidentiality. I will certainly seek help as soon as the trial concludes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry you are going through this. Make sure to have an excellent therapist and people you can lean on as support. Ask for help from trusted confidantes.

Good luck.

Rationally, I agree with you, but I’ve been too afraid to confide in anyone, even a professional therapist legally bound by patient confidentiality. I will certainly seek help as soon as the trial concludes.

Holding it in is very difficult, and make sure to take care of yourself. I know it's hard to ask for help, but I feel so much better when I did with a different situation and could trust others with keeping me sane in adverse circumstances. All the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice is always the same: pretend you're on a reality tv show, and come the reunion with Andy Cohen, you want to come off well. You don't want to have to struggle to answer why you lost your cool, or why you did or didn't do/say something. You want to come off as the accidental hero that makes other people think "I wish I could keep my composure and be that good an example for my kids!"

This is great advice. Dissociate a little and focus on how you want to see yourself when you look back on this situation in a year or two. That kept me sane post-divorce when ex-H was acting erratic and being unkind.

Thank you to both PPs. I have indeed felt like an actor for the past 2 years, while providing more support to my spouse than they rightly deserve and accepting the brunt of their frustrations with the case against them. I’ve made it this far and the trial is only a few weeks away - I just need a final surge of strength.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eat healthy, exercise like crazy even if you don't feel like it as you will sleep better - and get a hair & makeup person to come and do this for you daily as well as a stylist for great outfits - then you can play the part well.

Thank you. I’m trying my best to keep up with a healthy diet and exercise regimen. Unfortunately, professional styling is out of the budget given our gargantuan legal bills.

[Anonymous]

Are they guilty? Is this part of the reason you want out? How bad is the charge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry you are going through this. Make sure to have an excellent therapist and people you can lean on as support. Ask for help from trusted confidantes.

Good luck.

Rationally, I agree with you, but I’ve been too afraid to confide in anyone, even a professional therapist legally bound by patient confidentiality. I will certainly seek help as soon as the trial concludes.

I'm a therapist and I can assure you we take the confidentiality part of our jobs VERY seriously. I'm sorry you haven't felt like you could talk to anyone but I do understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry you are going through this. Make sure to have an excellent therapist and people you can lean on as support. Ask for help from trusted confidantes.

Good luck.

Rationally, I agree with you, but I’ve been too afraid to confide in anyone, even a professional therapist legally bound by patient confidentiality. I will certainly seek help as soon as the trial concludes.

He is a physician and this is a malpractice suit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: get a hair & makeup person to come and do this for you daily as well as a stylist for great outfits - then you can play the part well.

This is crazy unless she is Melania Trump.

[Anonymous]

Do you need to be present in court or can you avoid?