Moving with elementary aged kids
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Anonymous
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Not sure if this is the right forum, but I’m selfishly wanting to get out of the DMV. My kids are for the most part happy (4th, 2nd, k) with school and social life. But I’m tired of rat race here…living in a tiny house (plus crazy mkt to even upgrade) and class sizes of 25+ (APS) and working crazy hours just to make it all work…and beginning to wonder what the end game is. I’d love to move back to my hometown where we’d be near family, good schools (though, I know not perfect either) and better COL. Has anyone done this? It’s funny what I worry most is my husband won’t be happy. He went to school here so would be leaving friends (as would I).
I should add we both have jobs we can do anywhere and I’d be able to cut back on working. If not quite all together. Just wondering if I’m having “the grass is always greener” syndrome… Please no mean comments. Just really curious others who have made a move and if it was worth it. |
Anonymous
| It was worth it to us. We left our DC row house and moved to Dallas. DH and I are both from Texas but knew no one in Dallas. We found a wonderful house and the school district has pleasantly surprised us--much better than DCPS. We're still several hours drive from either of our elderly parents, but the drive is cheaper than plane tickets. |
Anonymous
| OP here… how old were your kids when you moved? |
Anonymous
| Does your husband want to move? |
Anonymous
| I’d do it in a heartbeat if dh would agree |
Anonymous
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Can you rent a house in the place you want to move for the summer, and see how that is for you and your husband? Kids adapt to this type of thing pretty easily.
Consider how close you are to an ocean, museums, events, etc., and how close you'd be to those types of things if you moved. |
Anonymous
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It is absolutely worth it, and we didn’t move to be near family (uninvolved) but for ourselves.
The catalyst was trying to get together with friends and they booked us 6 weeks out!!! It was too much for us. We moved, and we absolutely love our large house, 2 acres, nice schools, and get togethers with friends almost daily. No traffic. It’s great. |
Anonymous
PP from above. My youngest was starting kindergarten and my oldest was going into 4th grade. Unfortunately, we moved right before the pandemic so that put a little bit of damper on our social life, but its much better now. |
Anonymous
Where? |
Anonymous
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OP I fantasize about doing this too although I'm generally happy here.
The thing that stops me is that my oldest is very quirky. I guess I feel like people in suburbs value being "normal" or something, and people in small towns are less tolerant of differences. I know I could be wrong, but I have this fear of dropping my quirky kid into a school with mini frat boys, and it not going well at all. |
Anonymous
| I wonder the same thing too. It’s stressful in this DMV area but my DH does not want to move, so I guess it’s a nonstarter. Maybe if our income situation significantly changes and we can move to where we would both enjoy, then he may change his mind. |
Anonymous
Did it. Moved to be near spouse’s family in small city. I wasn’t thrilled, but spouse had a new career opportunity that sweetened the pot for them. Not always easy but has turned out well. Kids benefitted from being near family and exposure to new activities. Made friends and are thriving. Spouse got to spend time with family, which proved important as some close relatives died unexpectedly after we moved to area. As for me? I got to switch to less demanding, more fun career and have time to pursue some hobbies when spouse’s family do things with kids. Red flag in your case is value prop for your spouse. What exactly do they get out of this? If you can’t provide a compelling answer, could be a problem. |
Anonymous
We moved in June when the kids were 14 ninth grade and 8 in the third grade. My last one wasn’t born yet. We didn’t move far but they still had to make new friends. My son is awkward and anxious and doesn’t start up conversations. This was a suburb with a mix of middle class and wealthy. Friends weren’t made based on money. The football team and other teams went unnoticed so no worries there. It’s a very liberal suburb with drug problems but schools are always ranked high. |
Anonymous
| We did this and it’s been awesome. Better schools, nicer house for was less $$, and kids made friends quickly. I also picked up an outdoor hobby that can’t really be done year round in a cold, expensive place, which makes me really happy. Agree with the pp who mentioned your spouse though. It’s important that they get something they value and like from the move, even if that’s just a much nicer house and more time for friends/hobbies. |
Anonymous
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Being near family is huge, but where is this place with low COL yet good schools that have classes under 25? I suspect you may be looking at your hometown with rose colored glasses. I would raise my kid in my hometown as it existed in the early 90s, but it looks very different today.
I also could get a job like mine in another town, but I couldn't port my actual DC job and salary there: unclear which you meant. |