Shooting below your weight

[Anonymous]

My son has been advised to shoot below his weight for merit. He is a junior, top 10% of class at a competitive high school with APs across the board, but we make too much and so we will be looking for merit. Our flagship is extremely competitive. That will be his first choice, however.

I know this a very common predicament, and so I am curious how other kids have fared when they ended up at schools that were not particularly competitive. Did they end up thriving? Were they disappointed? Do you regret settling? What were the schools? Our tuition budget for him is $60k, which will open some doors but close many others.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to send to community college and onto flagship if only willing 60,000. You have basically only 2 years flagship - and quite frankly your doesn’t sound that different from anyone else’s kid by your description, except maybe he drew unfortunate parental pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has been advised to shoot below his weight for merit. He is a junior, top 10% of class at a competitive high school with APs across the board, but we make too much and so we will be looking for merit. Our flagship is extremely competitive. That will be his first choice, however.

I know this a very common predicament, and so I am curious how other kids have fared when they ended up at schools that were not particularly competitive. Did they end up thriving? Were they disappointed? Do you regret settling? What were the schools? Our tuition budget for him is $60k, which will open some doors but close many others.

60K across 4 years?

[Anonymous]

Yikes what an obnoxious and unconstructive response 14:33 PP.

OP, my kid wound up getting in ED to a SLAC that doesn't give merit. So we're full pay, which we were prepared for even though it doesn't come easy. But he got merit at 2 of the 3 other schools that he had heard from before the ED notice. I have no doubt if he went to either of those, he'd be thriving.

BTW if you give stats and general preferences for schools (region; distance; city or not; major or interests) DCUMs often have great suggestions for chasing merit.

You should also clarify whether your budget is $60k just for tuition or all-in (room & board.) And whether it's $60k/year or $60k for all 4 years. If the latter, yes, community college may be the best option.

[Anonymous]

OP here, to clarify I meant $60k each year.

[Anonymous]

If that is your total budget for all 4 years, then your counselor was being really kind to you but not very honest.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a smart idea, OP. There are too many highly qualified students chasing the same goal - the state flagship(s). Look a bit further down the list, and your kid may be offered big money. Mine was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, to clarify I meant $60k each year.

To get useful, non-generic responses, share more.. GPA weighted/unweighted; SAT/ACT; Rigor; Public or Private High School; What does he want to study.

[Anonymous]

^^ pp again. $60K/yr. gets you into a LOT of colleges. Will want for your response before I provide a list. Also include what colleges come to mind when you say "shooting below your weight" for your son.

[Anonymous]

Does he have 5s on AP and that he will get college credit for? What is his SAT? Is he NMF? Maybe consider if he can graduate from a private school early? USC gives half tuition off for NMFs. And oddly enough, I found out from my kid that most of their friend group had enough AP IB credit to graduate in 3 or 3.5 years. They are weighing their options now. I met a mom this weekend whos son is D1 athlete at the school chose to take 18 credits a semester, because why not, and he’s doing it in 3 too. Like it was easy. Anyway something to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has been advised to shoot below his weight for merit. He is a junior, top 10% of class at a competitive high school with APs across the board, but we make too much and so we will be looking for merit. Our flagship is extremely competitive. That will be his first choice, however.

I know this a very common predicament, and so I am curious how other kids have fared when they ended up at schools that were not particularly competitive. Did they end up thriving? Were they disappointed? Do you regret settling? What were the schools? Our tuition budget for him is $60k, which will open some doors but close many others.

I went to a state flagship and I got nearly perfect grades but I was still challenged and busy. I enjoyed having top grades. My sister who went to an Ivy had spotty grades and a lot more stress. We make the same amount of money now despite different fields. She is younger and we are both permanently mommy-tracked.

Some of the most impressive colleagues I have are hard workers who went to average colleges that are sub-state-flagship in prestige.

My advice is that you only send your kid to schools they are proud and happy to go to. At every level, including Ivies, there are people who would rather be someplace else. That interferes with the student's success and their social networks. Part of that comes from your attitude as a parent. Dig deep and find schools that are "right" for your kid...discard rankings-based thinking...do your family's own version of "colleges that change lives".

I recommend my undergrad school, Pitt, which seems to be a very popular safety school on DCUM. I completely understand why. It doesn't give much merit, but you might get lucky (5, 10, 20K buckets). DCUMers recommend applying ASAP (August/Sept.) Then you get merit info in October. My kid got 5K and was a Nat'l Merit Commended Student. Seems best to have 1450+ SAT.

[Anonymous]

USC if you have high stats.

[Anonymous]

60k/year is not insignificant. How about focusing on honors colleges at larger state schools where cost would be close to that 60k? Florida, UGA etc. Strong schools in their own right and honors college will allow for greater opportunities (internships, research, access to professors etc) and likely highly motivated bright kids.

[Anonymous]

“Shooting below your weight?”

The phrase is “punching below your weight.” It refers to boxing where competitors are in weight classes.

[Anonymous]

Apply to Minnesota. It was s really long and gives merit early if you are a strong candidate.