Skipped a grade. What to do now?

[Anonymous]

DS skipped a grade due to an overseas move and the new school’s inability to accommodate his more advanced reading/writing/math skills. He agreed to it because he was also bored at the time. He is tall for his age and does not look out of place among his older classmates. While he is happy socially and is doing very well academically, we are not sure what to do now. Should we at some point let him repeat a year? We are worried about puberty and how he will be too different from his classmates in 2-3 years. He is in upper elementary now.

[Anonymous]

Do you have indication that he will hit puberty late? My DD is in upper elementary. She was redshirted with an end of August birthday. She has not started puberty yet while most of her (slightly) younger classmates have.
Kids start puberty all at different age and your son might start earlier and be on time with his older classmates.

[Anonymous]

No, he will be fine

[Anonymous]

You let it ride. You don't know there will be problems and he's happy (and presumably wouldn't have been when on grade level). Be grateful you had the opportunity to do this for him.

[Anonymous]

What’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

My DS skipped a grade. He’s in 8th grade now and there is an incredibly broad spectrum in the boys physically. A few look like young men (over 6 feet tall with some facial hair) while others still look like little boys (barely 5 feet with baby faces). DS is somewhere in the middle and you’d never know he was younger just by looking at him. He’s always fit in socially and done well with academics. If anything, we may consider a gap year before sending him off to college, but there’s been no need to repeat a grade.

[Anonymous]

Are you overseas now? Will you move back? I would reassess when moving back

[Anonymous]

You should have consulted DCUM sooner! (Kidding)

But I am a proponent for never skipping. The reality is the material isn’t all that much more advanced. You are almost always better off supplementing at home with material tailored to your child’s level for a true challenge. You cannot make up for the social and emotional aspect of being much younger than peers, but you can absolutely provide challenges at home if school isn’t.

Once in middle school, there tends to be better programs in place for advanced kids that are working beyond their grade level. High school there are a whole host of AP and challenging classes to pick from.

But that ship has sailed and you just have to go with the decision you made. Keeping him in current school and holding a back a year won’t go over well with him. Perhaps if you moved schools entirely, but his morale will take a hit.

[Anonymous]

Right now, you don’t have a problem. Wait and see what happens. Onset of puberty happens at different ages, that may not be a complication. Don’t borrow trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS skipped a grade. He’s in 8th grade now and there is an incredibly broad spectrum in the boys physically. A few look like young men (over 6 feet tall with some facial hair) while others still look like little boys (barely 5 feet with baby faces). DS is somewhere in the middle and you’d never know he was younger just by looking at him. He’s always fit in socially and done well with academics. If anything, we may consider a gap year before sending him off to college, but there’s been no need to repeat a grade.

I agree about the broad spectrum in the boys physically. You can't predict when puberty will start or how it will play out. There is no point worrying about it or trying to control future events based on it.

[Anonymous]

Just let it ride for now. If some specific problem arises later, then reevaluate.

[Anonymous]

My child skipped a grade when overseas. We placed him in the correct grade when we moved back and nobody ever questioned it.

[Anonymous]

I know of 2 boys who skipped grades - they are both in high school now and thriving. Both have spring birthdays so neither was "old" for their year. I think if they are ready, they are ready.

[Anonymous]

You should have thought of this before skipping. I think you are stuck now. If he’s bright, how on earth would he repeat a grade?

[Anonymous]

OP here. The observation that there’s a big range of puberty timing is reassuring. Yes I agree that there isn’t much we can do at this point. Just a random thought that sometimes comes up in my mind on a Friday! We thought about these potential social problems before the skipping decision but it was difficult to judge when your kid was 6-7. We don’t quite understand how a kid can be keen on doing supplementary academic stuff at home after a school day. We would rather spend time on sports or other activities. And by the way, sports training here is outside of school and organized by age group. So no problem there.

There is a chance we go back and that could be a time to reconsider.