Hiring help at a resort

[Anonymous]

We are planning a trip with some friends and they mentioned they wanted to hire full time resort childcare but they are nervous because the last time they experienced this was a recent family trip and the childminders were awful even though they had limited resources - they couldn't take the kids to the kids club beach pool or out of the villa really.

I said I didn't think that was what those services were really for? I always thought you could hire someone through the resort to do 1 on 1 care at the kid center - with all the toys and part day or once the kids were asleep you could have them sit while you go out for drinks and dinner. That if you needed full time coverage it makes more sense to bring your own nanny or hire a travel nanny where you can actually interview, vet and the kids can get to know prior to.

We said maybe this wasn't the right trip to do together or they could do that but we wouldn't be comfortable. DH made a comment about wanting family vacation to be with family. Why would he have someone help all day on a family vacation. We would just leave the kids at home with their trusted nanny/grandparents if we wanted to get away. Later he apologized and meant for him personally but I know exactly what he meant. The trip these friends were referring to they were there with her parents, her brother and step brother and their families. Lots of helping hands to make sure everyone had kid free excursions but instead they complain about the subpar help.

I know my friend if pissy about it and I said why don't we just take a girl's trip later in the year but maybe at this age/stage it's best to not travel together with the kids. She wasn't happy with that either

Is it normal to hire full day help from a resort?

[Anonymous]

You just travel differently from your friend. If she is getting “pissy” about discussing different options in the planning phases, then I’d be a little wary about planning a wk long family trip with her & her family.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn’t have anyone to watch her kids if they stay home and is envious?

I agree with your DH, why travel with your DC if you’re going to try to offload them full time somewhere. But that’s you guys’s business.

I notice staff quality runs the gamut, and it often depends on the city. If you want to travel together, you should find a place people say the childcare staff is great.

[Anonymous]

You have different preferences and you were judgy. First ok, second not.

[Anonymous]

There is no one correct way to travel- though reading DCUM you wouldn’t know it, but I do find it strange when people outsource help for watching kids on vacation. IMHO, one of the best things about vacations with kids is experiencing it with them, seeing it through their eyes. Also, childhood is fleeting and those days are to be cherished.

[Anonymous]

I’m ok with grandparents or aunts/uncles watching kids while DJ and I go out to dinner. I’m not letting strangers at a kids club watch my kids. I don’t trust them and I actually like hanging out with my kids, so no need to for a nanny.

We know a super successful couple who both work really hard and make a lot of money. When they vacation, they bring their nanny with them. It strikes me as odd that a couple that both work 60 hour weeks choose to have a nanny along to take care of their kids while they do adult activities all day and night. They barely see their kids during regular life. It’s odd to me that when they vacation they choose to barely see them. This is probably a rich person thing…so surely I can’t relate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m ok with grandparents or aunts/uncles watching kids while DJ and I go out to dinner. I’m not letting strangers at a kids club watch my kids. I don’t trust them and I actually like hanging out with my kids, so no need to for a nanny.

We know a super successful couple who both work really hard and make a lot of money. When they vacation, they bring their nanny with them. It strikes me as odd that a couple that both work 60 hour weeks choose to have a nanny along to take care of their kids while they do adult activities all day and night. They barely see their kids during regular life. It’s odd to me that when they vacation they choose to barely see them. This is probably a rich person thing…so surely I can’t relate.

You have no idea what their vacation is like and no need to be so judgemental about it. My brother and SIL do this but the nanny doesn’t work full days like at home. She does stuff like gets them up in the morning and gives them breakfast so parents get to sleep in, then maybe looks after them for an hour or two after lunch or while they are napping, and then babysits some evenings while parents go out to dinner. Still lots of parent-kid time but also some time to relax. I didn’t do this but I think it is a great way to travel with small kids.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I am judging you if you need this much help on vacation. I also would never use a random babysitter at a hotel.

[Anonymous]

There's a reason that resorts have childcare available, people use it. That means it's perfectly normal.

You were completely out of line in your judginess with your friend's approach to vacations. That wasn't OK and deserves a real apology if you want to maintain the friendship.

A lot of the people here tisking about using childcare services fofegt that there's a huge difference between traveling with young kids and school age kids.

[Anonymous]

OP’s husband shouldn’t have said what he did- though I do agree with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a reason that resorts have childcare available, people use it. That means it's perfectly normal.

You were completely out of line in your judginess with your friend's approach to vacations. That wasn't OK and deserves a real apology if you want to maintain the friendship.

A lot of the people here tisking about using childcare services fofegt that there's a huge difference between traveling with young kids and school age kids.

There is a huge difference. Really young kids love hanging out with their parents. I say embrace those years rather than hiring help while on vacation.

No judgement if you want a meal or an activity with just spouse, but I’ve seen instances where kids spend more time with nanny than with parents. Sad IMHO.

[Anonymous]

To me, it depends totally on the ages of the kids.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Sorry, I am judging you if you need this much help on vacation. I also would never use a random babysitter at a hotel.[/quote]

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just travel differently from your friend. If she is getting “pissy” about discussing different options in the planning phases, then I’d be a little wary about planning a wk long family trip with her & her family.

I agree. Find a way to get out of this family trip and plan something more low-key.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, I am judging you if you need this much help on vacation. I also would never use a random babysitter at a hotel.[/quote]

+100[/quote]

+1000. Grandparents, aunt, uncle watching kid for a couple hours, sure. Placing kid in hotel/resort kiddie club with strangers, that’s a hard no. Outsourcing parent duties on vacation to a nanny that tags along…definitely no, but I’m too poor to relate to that scenario.