If your child was asked not to return to private, what was the procedure?

[Anonymous]

DS is in middle school at a local private school. He had a rough fall and was eventually diagnosed with ADHD. Things have gone better this winter, but school has continued to complain about random things. We are working with them, DS and a therapist, but we are starting to worry that they will tell us he can't come back next year. If your kid was asked to not return, can you tell me how things went down so I can prepare for this? We have another child at the school as well. Did you leave siblings at the school if you had other kids there? Thanks for any advice?

[Anonymous]

Did you get a contract for next year? Most schools will have done this by this point. If you have a contract and have signed it, baring a major incident, you'll be fine for next year. If they are holding your contract, ask them to tell you what needs to happen in order to get the contract (and also start looking for a plan B for next year).

[Anonymous]

OP here. Our school hasn't put out contracts for next year yet.

[Anonymous]

Does your younger child really love this school?

If one of my children was poorly treated by a school, I wouldn't trust them with my other child.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the previous poster that it should be okay if you get a contract. That is the point at which it will be evident that they don't want you back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our school hasn't put out contracts for next year yet.

Have they had any conversations with you about him not returning? What can you glean from your conversations with them? It sounds like you've been working closely with the school and have been taking steps to get your child the support he needs, and that he is making progress, so I'm inclined to think they'll have him back recognizing that the challenges he's having don't get all the way better overnight, even with medication and therapy, but I don't know how disruptive the behaviors still are. As far as child #2 goes, if they are happy and you aren't so unhappy with the school that it's untenable for you, I wouldn't move child #2 if #1 is not asked back.

Does DC want to stay at the school or do they want a fresh start? Is there a school that would better meet his needs regardless of whether or not the current school allows him to return?

[Anonymous]

Relax, you would know by now. It would be really shitty to keep you waiting so you don't have anywhere else to go.

You could also just ask.

[Anonymous]

I haven't been through this, but I can't imagine a school waiting this long and completely leaving a family without options for the upcoming school year.

Rather than borrowing trouble, I recommend that you keep your focus on what's happening now and how to support your kid as he works to meet goals and expectations. I suppose, however, if you truly just can't just get it out of your mind you could talk to someone at the school about your worries. Does your kid have an advisor?

I hope things get easier for him and he can settle easier into school with your support and that of the school and therapist.

[Anonymous]

Of course the contact is key, but those often don’t come out until March. Carefully reread any correspondence, evaluations or documentation of any kind that they have sent you. Have an objective observer hello you look at these to see if they have used any verbiage that could be construed as a warning.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, contract

[Anonymous]

And help, not hello

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you get a contract for next year? Most schools will have done this by this point. If you have a contract and have signed it, baring a major incident, you'll be fine for next year. If they are holding your contract, ask them to tell you what needs to happen in order to get the contract (and also start looking for a plan B for next year).

Or a major baring incident.

[Anonymous]

This call came after I had signed a contract for the next year but the HOS said “I can’t do anything about this it’s too late here’s your deposit back.”

Turned out to be some bizarre gossip going around by another parent who knew my mother and recognized me at a school function even though I had no idea who she was. She was special friends with the board chair, but I didn’t know any of this at the time.

Now I wish I never did…

[Anonymous]

I don’t tell this experience in person but I post it here occasionally so people understand how private schools actually work. Don’t take anything too personally and just move on if someone says something crazy about you or your child. And if you have anxiety like this, I’d be planning on leaving just for that reason alone. Who wants to pay tuition to be miserable?

[Anonymous]

In general, when there are a lot of concerns about your child mentioned in meetings or phone calls that don’t match what you are seeing at home, or they do but the school says that can’t handle it, that’s a good time to change.

Most contracts will allow you to withdraw by a certain date if this happens with no penalty. Check yours if you have one for specifics.