Would you urge kid to invite old close friends?

[Anonymous]

My middle school is making a birthday guest list and leaving out a few former very good friends including our neighbor and some other previous close friends from elementary. These are kids and families we have known for years.

I won’t force and invite but I am strongly urging to invite, especially the neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Is the party at home? I woudo not make a middle schooler invite who he doesn’t want to.

[Anonymous]

It's hard because I think its great to keep neighborhood friends and previous friends from elementary school. I'd try to not force, but admittedly I would want to

[Anonymous]

Depends how big the party is, but that's an age of shifting friendships. It might be awkward for all if they are not close anymore, unless it's a large party.

[Anonymous]

DD's tight group of friends from ES have mostly grown apart and have their own new groups of friends. They're still friendly, but not friends. And they don't invite each other for birthdays.

DD says there is nothing worse than being the one kid who doesn't know any of the other kids at a party, which will likely happen if she invites her friends, and the neighbor.

[Anonymous]

I would invite especially the neighbor.

If the other friends are the super popular type and your kid is lower on the totem pole, then I would not worry about it as much. It’s possible they snubbed her rather than the other way around

[Anonymous]

In middle school? No. How awkward if they invite this kid who isn’t friends with any of the others. Middle school dynamics are totally different than elementary school and children should have the right to invite whoever they want to their parties as long as they’re not engaging and bullying Behavior. There’s nothing wrong with moving on from a friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD's tight group of friends from ES have mostly grown apart and have their own new groups of friends. They're still friendly, but not friends. And they don't invite each other for birthdays.

DD says there is nothing worse than being the one kid who doesn't know any of the other kids at a party, which will likely happen if she invites her friends, and the neighbor.

Same. And there is nothing worse than feeling like an outsider at a middle school party. The old friends won’t be friends with the new group and it’s setting it up to be awkward.

[Anonymous]

No. Your kid invites their current friends. Friend groups shift. Normal.

[Anonymous]

To add to what others have said, no, let kid invite who they want. If the problem is that *you* miss the other parents, take advantage of the fact that you have kids old enough to stay home alone and invite the adults for a dinner out to catch up.

[Anonymous]

2 parties

[Anonymous]

What happened that they aren't friends anymore? Maybe each friend group does something different?

[Anonymous]

Don’t do this to your kid OP. It’s not about you. Things shift in middle school. It’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do this to your kid OP. It’s not about you. Things shift in middle school. It’s fine.

So if your kid all of a sudden randomly wasn't friends with good friends they've had probably for the last 5 or 6 years, that wouldn't seem strange to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD's tight group of friends from ES have mostly grown apart and have their own new groups of friends. They're still friendly, but not friends. And they don't invite each other for birthdays.

DD says there is nothing worse than being the one kid who doesn't know any of the other kids at a party, which will likely happen if she invites her friends, and the neighbor.

Same. And there is nothing worse than feeling like an outsider at a middle school party. The old friends won’t be friends with the new group and it’s setting it up to be awkward.

+1