Telling people to MYOB
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Anonymous
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We are very privileged to be in a position where our first child is headed off to his first choice, OOS, college next year and his 529 is more than fully funded, through college and grad school, due to a lifetime of saving on our part and contributions from both sets of grandparents.
This is wonderful, we are thrilled for him that he's going to a school he's thrilled about and that we can pay for it, etc. Social etiquette question - I suppose due to our lifestyle choices(?) everyone assumes we have filled out the FAFSA, hate the FAFSA, can answer and commiserate about questions about loans and financial aid, etc. We've tried smiling and nodding, changing the subject - but at some point this feels like a personal financial assumption that I'm tired of dealing with. What's a good way of ending the conversation? |
Anonymous
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“Ugh, yes! I heard the new FAFSA is a bear to fill out. What a drag. Have you made any plans for spring break?”
From what you write, no one is trying to pry. Part of the human experience is commiseration. Join in where you can and then steer the conversation elsewhere. |
Anonymous
| Even people who are full pay fill out the FAFSA, as we did, so that our kids could take out the unsubsidized federal loans. We wanted them to have teeth in the game, which we did, and now as grads they are taking responsibility for paying back the *relatively" small amounts, so I suspect that's what people are asking. It's a great way to start an 18-year-old on fiscal responsibility, establishing credit, getting a credit card, balancing accounts, getting first apartment, etc. |
Anonymous
| Just say firmly but clearly: “I am very privileged.” And then walk away. |
Anonymous
To underscore what should be obvious: This would be a jerk move. |
Anonymous
“The FAFSA? Isn’t that something poor people do? Does it get you free government cheese or something?” |
Anonymous
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I think this is one of those situations in which every time someone does this, you should remind yourself how grateful you are that you’re able to afford DS’s first choice for school and try your best to empathize. If anything, maybe reflect on what is causing you to be annoyed. Is it pride that your thrifty lifestyle allowed you to fund college?
Anyway, be a good human being. Paying for college is stressful. |
Anonymous
| Just continue to nod along in sympathy. I had full scholarships and this is what I do when people moan about student loans. Only one person figured out that I didn't have loans because I never actually directly talk about mine. |
Anonymous
| What’s a FAFSA? That should stop them in their tracks. |
Anonymous
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A lot of people save for college. Just tell them you’ve been saving since they were a baby.
Unless in the circles you run in this is abnormal. |
Anonymous
| Isn't a requirement for a lot of scholarships that you have to have filled out the FAFSA? So if that is still the case, you (or the student) should have filled it out. |
Anonymous
| My kid didn’t qualify for any aid and we paid full price for college and I still filled out the FAFSA his freshman year because it was a requirement for his school. This has literally never come up in conversation with anyone ever. Maybe the OP hangs out with the pools? |
Anonymous
| you seem to be looking for permission or encouragement to brag and act smug. |
Anonymous
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Just be quiet and nod and fight every instinct to elaborate on your specific situation.
That is what I do. When people say that the want their kids to get the federal loans to have skin in the game, I just nod and say nothing. We are full pay and did not apply for scholarships other than merit that comes with acceptance letters. I would feel bad having my kid use up a scholarship when we can afford to pay for it all. But, I don’t bring that up in conversation. |
Anonymous
| Maybe I am clueless, but why can't OP just say: In this crazy climate, thank God, Larlo has a 529 to pay. Or something. |