How often do you see far away close family?

[Anonymous]

We normally do once a year, but the expense is such I am not sure I want to do it.

[Anonymous]

M parents live far but domestic. they usually come to us so we don’t have to worry about taking time off or the cost of traveling to them. They come 3-4x per year and stay for about a week each time.

My in laws live abroad and our visits w them are more sporadic since it’s so expensive and difficult for us to go there or them to come here. We see them every other year or so and usually for 3-4 weeks at a time.

[Anonymous]

This is what zoom is for! About once a week. Make it a priority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what zoom is for! About once a week. Make it a priority

What?! I meant in person!!!

[Anonymous]

If you are talking about seeing your parents - you go more often. Just you. If they have the money and cost keeps you from going, mention that. They might gladly cover your cost. Go. Same with siblings. It's important to go, even if it's just you.

[Anonymous]

My DD and her husband live in the UK. We see them three to four times a year. Sometimes we go there and sometimes she comes to see us (with or without husband, depending).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are talking about seeing your parents - you go more often. Just you. If they have the money and cost keeps you from going, mention that. They might gladly cover your cost. Go. Same with siblings. It's important to go, even if it's just you.

I could not go more than once a year. What do you do?

[Anonymous]

Parents: 3-4 times a year, but that’s mostly them coming to me — I take the kids to see them about once every 1-2 years

Sisters: maybe once every 5 years now that we’re on opposite sides on the country and have dependents? I miss seeing them more but we’re both none too rich and very busy. The love is still there though.

[Anonymous]

Once for the ones in CA. Used to be 3x when they could still travel. Spouse only gets 12 days of leave per year and uses half of it to go visit them.

I see mine more frequently, they are a 6 hour drive and I have to pass through twice a year when I take the kids to/from camp and I cover whichever week of school they have off that my husband didn’t take them to CA for and I typically bring them to my parents for that. My mom will also occasionally travel to us for a few days, my dad won’t travel anymore.

[Anonymous]

My parents visit twice a year for a week each time. We visited them for a weekend and I went another weekend by myself.

My SIL lives overseas in Europe. We usually see her more than my parents because she travels to the US for work. She comes for a week at least twice a year, 2 other weekends when here for work, and we have done a week trip overseas either to her country or have invited her to travel with us in Europe. The expectation of a yearly trip to her or with her has become too much. There are 4 of us and 1 of her. When she visits us, we host her and she has a place to stay, transportation, and all food covered. When we visit her (one bedroom apartment), we need a hotel, car, and meals (in addition to 4 airplane tickets). Managing and trying to adjust expectations is becoming difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We normally do once a year, but the expense is such I am not sure I want to do it.

Once a year, they come or we all go.

Spouse goes more often and tries to make 1-2 biz trips there a year and stay.

Kids are getting older so their sports and ECs and school schedule takes over. They can’t just sit at someone’s house for a week anyhow. That’s boring. Even my spouse still works full time when visiting for more than a weekend.

[Anonymous]

Whenever they come here. I hate going there with my kids. There is nothing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are talking about seeing your parents - you go more often. Just you. If they have the money and cost keeps you from going, mention that. They might gladly cover your cost. Go. Same with siblings. It's important to go, even if it's just you.

I could not go more than once a year. What do you do?

Think about it this way. Depending on your age - let's say you are 45 (a pretty fair representative age on DCUM). That means your mom is about 70 and your dad is about 72-73. Based on demographics and age, your mom will likely live to 87 (give or take) and your dad about 10 more years. Thus, based on your once a year pattern, you will see your Dad 10 more times in his lifetime and your mom about 15 more times. Of those times, how many times will it be because they are in the hospital or have other major health issues? Or would you rather see them when they are active and can go to dinner or a play or whatever.

In other words, suck it up and go see your parents because they won't be around much longer and baring some interpersonal issue between you and them, you will be sadder if you don't.

[Anonymous]

I used to go once a year with the whole family. Now that I work remote, I go a few times per year, sometimes alone, sometimes I take 1 DC and sometimes both. Trying to spend two months there during the summer, but it’s not possible every year. Cost doesn’t prevent me, because I love my mom and she’s old. I’d much rather spend as much time as possible with her, than have a few thousand dollars more in my retirement account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are talking about seeing your parents - you go more often. Just you. If they have the money and cost keeps you from going, mention that. They might gladly cover your cost. Go. Same with siblings. It's important to go, even if it's just you.

I could not go more than once a year. What do you do?

Think about it this way. Depending on your age - let's say you are 45 (a pretty fair representative age on DCUM). That means your mom is about 70 and your dad is about 72-73. Based on demographics and age, your mom will likely live to 87 (give or take) and your dad about 10 more years. Thus, based on your once a year pattern, you will see your Dad 10 more times in his lifetime and your mom about 15 more times. Of those times, how many times will it be because they are in the hospital or have other major health issues? Or would you rather see them when they are active and can go to dinner or a play or whatever.

In other words, suck it up and go see your parents because they won't be around much longer and baring some interpersonal issue between you and them, you will be sadder if you don't.

The question was really about people far away from family. When you do, it's condensed and different, and a lot of quality time, uninterrupted. If you want to talk numbers and compare, it's like having 15 dinners, 15 lunches and 15 breakfasts together in that one span of time. Compared to family close by it is actually more time.