Coworker with poor eye contact

[Anonymous]

I work a medical type of job and it's shift work around the clock. In order for me to leave I am relieved by another coworker. As a coworker arrives I always say hi because it's expected and a lot of times she won't say anything back or make eye contact with me. I suspect she does this with others. I just brush it off but last week it made me feel uncomfortable and I wondered if I should even bother saying hi to her. It's common to chat for a bit before we have to fill in the next person about anything important that happened with the client. She's an older coworker I.e. around 50. She isn't glued to her phone when she's walking in.

[Anonymous]

What can we say, OP? People on the spectrum are known to be uncomfortable with eye contact and socialization. Maybe she has high-functioning ASD. Or maybe she just wants to come in and do her work. Or maybe it's personal and she doesn't like you. Or maybe there's something going on in her personal life that greatly preoccupies her.

You want more reasons?

[Anonymous]

Some people make eye contact. Some people do not. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Get right down to business

[Anonymous]

Why do people make such a big deal over eye contact? There are so many reasons why many people do not make eye contact.

[Anonymous]

You do you. She does her. If you want to be like her, just do it.

[Anonymous]

It is appropriate to expect a co-worker to acknowledge you when you say hi to them. You can address this with her.

Chitchat: that is not required to do your work.

Eye contact: same. It’s not required.

Sharing information about client: necessary

[Anonymous]

Get used to it. I teach kindergarten and lots of kids don't know how to make eye contact. I think years of tech use during their first five years has scrambled their brains. In addition to the inability to make eye contact, they have trouble listening to others, near constant interruptions, inability to focus on anything for more than a minute or two, etc. Basically, we have 2 yr olds in kindergarten. I don't think this will be getting any better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people make such a big deal over eye contact? There are so many reasons why many people do not make eye contact.

Poor eye contact followed by ignoring someone's greeting is considered rude. I don't make the rules. If it happened every once in a while whatever but it's a regular thing. I'm sure she doesn't do this with managers because she knows it's rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get used to it. I teach kindergarten and lots of kids don't know how to make eye contact. I think years of tech use during their first five years has scrambled their brains. In addition to the inability to make eye contact, they have trouble listening to others, near constant interruptions, inability to focus on anything for more than a minute or two, etc. Basically, we have 2 yr olds in kinydergarten. I don't think this will be getting any better.

Op here. This is scary.

[Anonymous]

This is often seen with autism. It can still be learned though, just doesn’t come as naturally.

I’m not autistic but I’m introverted. I find caring professions like nursing really really exhausting. It would be hard if it doesn’t match your personality. I don’t get why some professions have made themselves so chatty because I think it’s turning people away from wanting to work there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is often seen with autism. It can still be learned though, just doesn’t come as naturally.

I’m not autistic but I’m introverted. I find caring professions like nursing really really exhausting. It would be hard if it doesn’t match your personality. I don’t get why some professions have made themselves so chatty because I think it’s turning people away from wanting to work there.

Op here. I don't know what this means. I'm not asking her to chit-chat. I am the only person at work so when she comes to relieve me after 15 hours it's a big deal. If it were a regular office then the expectation might not be there.

[Anonymous]

OP, keep saying hi and being nice. Consistancy will help especially if there is something else going on. What is most important is that you be yourself.

[Anonymous]

It’s an annoyance but it does not sound necessary for the transition. I’d let it go. You don’t have to be warm and fuzzy with her - just give her the required info and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is often seen with autism. It can still be learned though, just doesn’t come as naturally.

I’m not autistic but I’m introverted. I find caring professions like nursing really really exhausting. It would be hard if it doesn’t match your personality. I don’t get why some professions have made themselves so chatty because I think it’s turning people away from wanting to work there.

This. She could be shy, introverted or autistic. My autistic DD has poor eye contact but at least she would say hi