A dinner prayer

[Anonymous]

Dear Lord, Hear My Plea: I’ve tried to be good, Lord. I’ve done my best to be patient. I’m a good husband, a good father and a good citizen. I love my dear wife, and I am grateful for all she does for our family, including cooking dinner for us every night, despite my repeated, repeated, offers over many years to take over that job, even for just a night or two a week. But, Lord, a man — even a grateful man — can only take so much. A man can only eat so many thousands of tomatoe-based dinners before he goes stark raving — well, I was going to say bananas, but Lord I am quite certain that, at this point, I am almost entirely constituted of tomatoes. Whole tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, peeled tomatoes and diced tomatoes. Tomato paste, tomato ragout and tomato broth. Whatever the ostensible main part of our dinner is: chicken, beef, pasta, lentils, tofu, beans — you name it — it is guaranteed to come swimming in a sea of tomato. And, Lord: I like tomatoes. I do. I have nothing against tomatoes. It’s just that everything we eat is against tomatoes. Abutting tomatoes. Paired with or marinated in or complimented by tomatoes. And Lord I can’t take it anymore. I. Can’t. Take it. Please, Lord, if you could possibly see your way to smiting this years tomato crop, even partially, without harming the livelihood of any farm workers or grocery store employees, I would be ever so grateful. And if that’s not doable — I know you’ve got a lot on your plate — please consider dropping a gift certificate or ten for restaurants run by chefs who are allergic to tomatoes in our mailbox. Please, Lord. I beseech thee. Please. Hear my plea.

[Anonymous]

Make your own GD dinner then?

Wtf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make your own GD dinner then?

Wtf

^
I’ll bet you’re fun at parties.

[Anonymous]

Dear Son
Yes, it's true I made your hated tomatoes.

But it is also true I made your voice, gave you courage and planted a seed (not tomato) of love in your heart. Use those gifts, along with your gift of words, to talk to your beloved wife and tell her the truth.

If that doesn't work, then I permit you to use a white lie and tell her that all that acid has given you stomach upset and you need to avoid tomatoes.

All my best,
God

[Anonymous]

P.S. Sorry, I can't consider smiting the tomato crop. The Italians, Spaniards, Greeks and pizza lovers everywhere would revolt!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Son
Yes, it's true I made your hated tomatoes.

But it is also true I made your voice, gave you courage and planted a seed (not tomato) of love in your heart. Use those gifts, along with your gift of words, to talk to your beloved wife and tell her the truth.

If that doesn't work, then I permit you to use a white lie and tell her that all that acid has given you stomach upset and you need to avoid tomatoes.

All my best,
God

🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

Weird.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her they are giving you reflux!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Son
Yes, it's true I made your hated tomatoes.

But it is also true I made your voice, gave you courage and planted a seed (not tomato) of love in your heart. Use those gifts, along with your gift of words, to talk to your beloved wife and tell her the truth.

If that doesn't work, then I permit you to use a white lie and tell her that all that acid has given you stomach upset and you need to avoid tomatoes.

All my best,
God

Both you and the OP win DCUM. Very funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Lord, Hear My Plea: I’ve tried to be good, Lord. I’ve done my best to be patient. I’m a good husband, a good father and a good citizen. I love my dear wife, and I am grateful for all she does for our family, including cooking dinner for us every night, despite my repeated, repeated, offers over many years to take over that job, even for just a night or two a week. But, Lord, a man — even a grateful man — can only take so much. A man can only eat so many thousands of tomatoe-based dinners before he goes stark raving — well, I was going to say bananas, but Lord I am quite certain that, at this point, I am almost entirely constituted of tomatoes. Whole tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, peeled tomatoes and diced tomatoes. Tomato paste, tomato ragout and tomato broth. Whatever the ostensible main part of our dinner is: chicken, beef, pasta, lentils, tofu, beans — you name it — it is guaranteed to come swimming in a sea of tomato. And, Lord: I like tomatoes. I do. I have nothing against tomatoes. It’s just that everything we eat is against tomatoes. Abutting tomatoes. Paired with or marinated in or complimented by tomatoes. And Lord I can’t take it anymore. I. Can’t. Take it. Please, Lord, if you could possibly see your way to smiting this years tomato crop, even partially, without harming the livelihood of any farm workers or grocery store employees, I would be ever so grateful. And if that’s not doable — I know you’ve got a lot on your plate — please consider dropping a gift certificate or ten for restaurants run by chefs who are allergic to tomatoes in our mailbox. Please, Lord. I beseech thee. Please. Hear my plea.

Hahahaha.

Can't you tell her the acid is giving you reflux, and the doc said you have to cut back on tomatoes?

[Anonymous]

Your spouse is a narcissist. She is doing it on purpose.

You are likely a narcissist for praying directly to Our Lord about such trivial thing. Your DCUM penance is to watch 12 hours of youtube on the topic of narcissism and 25 tic tok videos on borderline personality disorders (just in case).

[Anonymous]

Young kids, OP?
My DH also complains about the number of tomato-based dishes in rotation here. But I habe 2 little kids, both picky eaters (yes, we are working on that), and I do what I must to get them to eat vegetables...even if it involves smothering them in some form of tomato sauce that resembled ketchup.
In rotation here, we have:
Lasagna
Veggie pizza
Spaghetti
Tomato-based beef stew
Meatloaf with a tomato-based glaze
Enchilada soup
All containing some form of tomato.

He complains about all of it. He's welcome to cook meals any time he wants, but it seems he would rather complain about my choices than take over that task himself. And so, here we are.

[Anonymous]

Does she not know how to make a roast chicken or breaded chicken breasts? Butter/white wine/caper sauce for pan fried chicken is also fast & easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she not know how to make a roast chicken or breaded chicken breasts? Butter/white wine/caper sauce for pan fried chicken is also fast & easy.

Make this your dad dish once a week. It will be memorable for the kids.

[Anonymous]

I'll send her my recipes. DH forbids "the evil fruit" from entering our kitchen (I grow them anyway), but I have learned to make all the usual dishes without tomatoes.