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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear Lord, Hear My Plea: I’ve tried to be good, Lord. I’ve done my best to be patient. I’m a good husband, a good father and a good citizen. I love my dear wife, and I am grateful for all she does for our family, including cooking dinner for us every night, despite my repeated, repeated, offers over many years to take over that job, even for just a night or two a week. But, Lord, a man — even a grateful man — can only take so much. A man can only eat so many thousands of tomatoe-based dinners before he goes stark raving — well, I was going to say bananas, but Lord I am quite certain that, at this point, I am almost entirely constituted of tomatoes. Whole tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, peeled tomatoes and diced tomatoes. Tomato paste, tomato ragout and tomato broth. Whatever the ostensible main part of our dinner is: chicken, beef, pasta, lentils, tofu, beans — you name it — it is guaranteed to come swimming in a sea of tomato. And, Lord: I like tomatoes. I do. I have nothing against tomatoes. It’s just that everything we eat is against tomatoes. Abutting tomatoes. Paired with or marinated in or complimented by tomatoes. And Lord I can’t take it anymore. I. Can’t. Take it. Please, Lord, if you could possibly see your way to smiting this years tomato crop, even partially, without harming the livelihood of any farm workers or grocery store employees, I would be ever so grateful. And if that’s not doable — I know you’ve got a lot on your plate — please consider dropping a gift certificate or ten for restaurants run by chefs who are allergic to tomatoes in our mailbox. Please, Lord. I beseech thee. Please. Hear my plea. [/quote]

Hahahaha.

Can't you tell her the acid is giving you reflux, and the doc said you have to cut back on tomatoes?[/quote]

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