Tell my teen — either go all in or get out?

[Anonymous]

Teen has been struggling with an injury for a year now. We have been to a sports medicine dr and two different PTs. It’s an overuse injury. She also had a MRI.

Today the doc said it’s basically a common injury (shoulder impingement) and others in her sport just figure out how to manage it.

She is still doing PT, but is incredibly frustrated and depressed over this. At this point, I want to tell her that if she wants to continue then she has to deal with it. Or quit. But I am so tired of the whining and complaining. And crying.

She doesn’t follow through with the prescribed PT and the dr recommendations to use heat and advil.

She wants to do this sport in college.

Any advice out there? I’ve pretty much lost patience.

[Anonymous]

Wow I would tell her you aren’t prepared to listen to complaints about symptoms if she’s non compliant with recs and strongly encourage her to stop the sport.

[Anonymous]

Is it swimming?

[Anonymous]

A teen can want to play their sport in college yet really struggle with the grind of PT, conditioning, getting enough sleep - all the necessary stuff serious athletes need to do.

Most teens are all about instant gratification and they’re not capable of hunkering down and committing to PT. The payoff they get months or years down the road won’t be enough to motivate most teens.

I realize there are some teens who are focused and mature enough to undertake PT and proper health maintenance. Hats off to them - I bet these kids do have that extra grit needed to go far in their sport.

I know my super athletic teen would quickly throw her hands up if she had to do PT to keep doing her sport.

[Anonymous]

Have her learn from others and the work and effort they've had to put in, especially in her sport. Most major athletes - Jordan, Curry, Serena, etc - have had to work through an injury to not only come back, but to play at a high level. You didn't mention her sport, but likely someone has gone through similar recovery.

Klay Thompson (one of the Splash Brothers) didn't play for two seasons, and made a documentary showing his struggles - both mental and physical...

https://youtu.be/L9Yb2Ut4Kqk?si=wzQDRiFPAWksGHUG

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A teen can want to play their sport in college yet really struggle with the grind of PT, conditioning, getting enough sleep - all the necessary stuff serious athletes need to do.

Most teens are all about instant gratification and they’re not capable of hunkering down and committing to PT. The payoff they get months or years down the road won’t be enough to motivate most teens.

I realize there are some teens who are focused and mature enough to undertake PT and proper health maintenance. Hats off to them - I bet these kids do have that extra grit needed to go far in their sport.

I know my super athletic teen would quickly throw her hands up if she had to do PT to keep doing her sport.

Thanks. This makes me feel a little better. She is likely going to a D1 school and would walk on (missed recruiting due to the injury) if she chose to participate. I’m at my wit’s end!

[Anonymous]

I think when she is an adult and impaired she will wish you had been more of a parent and said no more to the sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think when she is an adult and impaired she will wish you had been more of a parent and said no more to the sport.

And I think you’re not in a place to give anyone parenting advice, or any advice at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think when she is an adult and impaired she will wish you had been more of a parent and said no more to the sport.

This exactly. It’s not worth it. Could it be that she thinks quitting will let you down? She might be using this injury as an excuse to quit and is waiting for your permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when she is an adult and impaired she will wish you had been more of a parent and said no more to the sport.

This exactly. It’s not worth it. Could it be that she thinks quitting will let you down? She might be using this injury as an excuse to quit and is waiting for your permission.

I think I have been crystal clear that what I care about is her well being. I wasn’t an athlete by any stretch and neither was her dad. We just want her to be happy. She loves her sport and the community that comes with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when she is an adult and impaired she will wish you had been more of a parent and said no more to the sport.

This exactly. It’s not worth it. Could it be that she thinks quitting will let you down? She might be using this injury as an excuse to quit and is waiting for your permission.

I think I have been crystal clear that what I care about is her well being. I wasn’t an athlete by any stretch and neither was her dad. We just want her to be happy. She loves her sport and the community that comes with it.

When she is whining and complaining do you tell her that if it hurts that bad she should probably quit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it swimming?

If it’s swimming that is not normal. I was a D1 swimmer and in all my years in the sport (including coaching) I never knew anyone who just dealt with pain like that.

[Anonymous]

It’s rowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s rowing.

The truth is that if she’s hurt now, rowing isn’t the kind of sport in which she can work around it and magically get better later. She needs PT and time off. The problem with tendinitis is that doing almost anything to it can make it worse and/or lead to tendonosis, which is really hard to come back from. I had tendonosis in my Achilles that became worse from PT, because it actually increased the inflammation.

My advice is:

1) 2nd opinion from another doctor
2) new PT practice to get a fresh perspective and plan. Look at bios and find one that has a former rower on staff.
3) see if she can have on-water and erging video looked at by another coach, someone at a different club or even a college athlete. The rowers in my life have had a lot of injuries, but back, ribs, trap and hips are the most common. With the right form shoulder stuff is not common, so I worry she’s doing something funky to cause this or that her core and back muscles aren’t balanced.

[Anonymous]

PS I just posted and what kept me going in Hs with PT for a swimming injury was going to the sports medicine practice associated with the D1 university in my childhood hometown. Being around fellow HS athletes and even college athletes was really motivating and made it feel like practice or a workout, not a doctor’s appointment.

I had gone briefly to PT at another place and it was all middle aged people dealing with tweaky injuries and elderly people. Not motivating or fun.