"Cultural Sharing" Double Standard

[Anonymous]

So tell if I am being unreasonable to be annoyed here--

DC is in elementary school that frequently touts the beauty and joy of "sharing your culture." At one point, parents were invited in to "share an activity from your culture." As a result of that invitation, my kid brought home a little lantern they made in celebration of Diwali.

And yet, when it comes to mainstream secular holidays like Halloween or Valentines Day, we get emails like this:

Valentine's Reminder

As Valentine's Day approaches, let's be mindful of our school community's inclusive approach to celebrations. While the holiday is often celebrated with parties, distributing Valentines, and treats, it's important to recognize its religious roots, and that not all members of our community may observe it. Additionally, due to serious allergies, our school has a no-candy policy in classrooms.

We got a similar message around Halloween. I can't help but get the feeling, based on these emails, that if I took up the teacher on one of these invitations to "share my culture" around Halloween or Valentines Day or any other secular take on a mainstream American holiday (e.g. Christmas), it would not be well-received. I am all for my kid learning and celebrating other cultures, but this feels like a double standard.

Frankly, I find it annoying that we not allowed to have any common celebration with these holidays. I remember Halloween and Valentines Day as some of my most fun in-school experiences and this feels like they are caving to an unreasonably intolerant minority. Obviously we can and still do invite classmates over to celebrate these holidays at home, but that is not quite the same.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Celebrating something and learning about something are two totally different things. The latter is appropriate at school, the former isn’t.

[Anonymous]

You get to be annoyed about whatever you want to be annoyed about, but as my grandmother used to say, "I'd like to have your problems."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Celebrating something and learning about something are two totally different things. The latter is appropriate at school, the former isn’t.

Making a little Diwali lantern is not celebrating Diwali? Other examples included kids getting and playing Dreidels for Hanukah.

If you really believe this, please suggest an activity that would be comparable to these activities, but "learning about" rather than "celebrating" Halloween or Valentines but would not directly contradict the email instructions I quoted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Celebrating something and learning about something are two totally different things. The latter is appropriate at school, the former isn’t.

Making a little Diwali lantern is not celebrating Diwali? Other examples included kids getting and playing Dreidels for Hanukah.

If you really believe this, please suggest an activity that would be comparable to these activities, but "learning about" rather than "celebrating" Halloween or Valentines but would not directly contradict the email instructions I quoted.

OP, you asked. And the PP answered.

Also, no, making a Diwali lantern is not the same as having an in-class Diwali party. Let me know if the school made an exception to their no-candy policy for laddoos.

[Anonymous]

I am a Hindu and I would like my kids to learn about all cultures and their holidays. I would also like them to experience some arts and crafts, some music dance and celebration and d as one traditional foods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Celebrating something and learning about something are two totally different things. The latter is appropriate at school, the former isn’t.

Making a little Diwali lantern is not celebrating Diwali? Other examples included kids getting and playing Dreidels for Hanukah.

If you really believe this, please suggest an activity that would be comparable to these activities, but "learning about" rather than "celebrating" Halloween or Valentines but would not directly contradict the email instructions I quoted.

Make a card for valentines, that would be comparable. But, ES usually have a whole V party with treats and passing out goodies and store bought cards.

I am sooo grateful those days are behind me. I absolutely hated having to buy so much crap for those kids' parties. I bought them because I didn't want my kids to feel left out bringing something. That is what makes it not "equitable". Not all kids have the means or opportunity to bring goodie bags and v cards.

[Anonymous]

Just because a holiday has "religious roots" somewhere in the dim past doesn't mean anyone who celebrates it now thinks it has any religious meaning. Halloween was fun at school - dressing up, parade and parties. Valentine's Day was all about friendship and caring, cards for everyone and parties. I find it so depressing that these kind of things can no longer happen at school because of this idea that absolutely everything we do has to include absolutely everyone.

[Anonymous]

My kindergartener got to learn about Ramadan including that "we kneel on the floor and say Allahu akbar, which means God is great " in a public school. But no Valentines. We left the school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because a holiday has "religious roots" somewhere in the dim past doesn't mean anyone who celebrates it now thinks it has any religious meaning. Halloween was fun at school - dressing up, parade and parties. Valentine's Day was all about friendship and caring, cards for everyone and parties. I find it so depressing that these kind of things can no longer happen at school because of this idea that absolutely everything we do has to include absolutely everyone.

This actually seems like a good thing for public schools, to me.

[Anonymous]

I’m reading the Valentines Reminder differently. It says no candy because of allergies (which seems like a necessary health precaution and culturally neutral) and to remember that not everyone celebrates Valentines.

It doesn’t say that your child can’t celebrate, or even that the class won’t celebrate together, just that some people prefer not to celebrate. I’d see it as a heads-up to warn the kids not to get offended or think it weird if someone doesn’t give them a valentine or doesn’t want to accept one.

I’d suggest e-mailing the teacher for clarification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because a holiday has "religious roots" somewhere in the dim past doesn't mean anyone who celebrates it now thinks it has any religious meaning. Halloween was fun at school - dressing up, parade and parties. Valentine's Day was all about friendship and caring, cards for everyone and parties. I find it so depressing that these kind of things can no longer happen at school because of this idea that absolutely everything we do has to include absolutely everyone.

Public school Long Island and North Carolina We had to color Christmas trees and santa for a month before Christmas.

Zero empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because a holiday has "religious roots" somewhere in the dim past doesn't mean anyone who celebrates it now thinks it has any religious meaning. Halloween was fun at school - dressing up, parade and parties. Valentine's Day was all about friendship and caring, cards for everyone and parties. I find it so depressing that these kind of things can no longer happen at school because of this idea that absolutely everything we do has to include absolutely everyone.

This actually seems like a good thing for public schools, to me.

Secular holidays only "exclude" people are actively looking to be excluded because they are part of some cult-ish religion that is looking to signal how apart from the rest of us they are. Just don't give the parents a choice to opt out and then their kids won't be excluded, problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because a holiday has "religious roots" somewhere in the dim past doesn't mean anyone who celebrates it now thinks it has any religious meaning. Halloween was fun at school - dressing up, parade and parties. Valentine's Day was all about friendship and caring, cards for everyone and parties. I find it so depressing that these kind of things can no longer happen at school because of this idea that absolutely everything we do has to include absolutely everyone.

This actually seems like a good thing for public schools, to me.

Secular holidays only "exclude" people are actively looking to be excluded because they are part of some cult-ish religion that is looking to signal how apart from the rest of us they are. Just don't give the parents a choice to opt out and then their kids won't be excluded, problem solved.

Like Presidents' Day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading the Valentines Reminder differently. It says no candy because of allergies (which seems like a necessary health precaution and culturally neutral) and to remember that not everyone celebrates Valentines.

It doesn’t say that your child can’t celebrate, or even that the class won’t celebrate together, just that some people prefer not to celebrate. I’d see it as a heads-up to warn the kids not to get offended or think it weird if someone doesn’t give them a valentine or doesn’t want to accept one.

I’d suggest e-mailing the teacher for clarification.

Yep. That's the way I read it, too.