What can young teens do in the summer in the afternoons

[Anonymous]

Will have a 14 year old boy who does swim team and then coaches the little kids. He’s done by noon every day. Not interested in day camps and it’s hard because of the timing.

Last summer he spent so so much time on screens every day we are hoping to avoid that. Are there any afternoon camps (we are in moco) that may need help? Doesn’t need to get paid, happy to make him volunteer. Just want him to have a little more structure some days of the week. Would love any ideas you all may have.

[Anonymous]

Is he going into 9th or 10th? Maybe club sports or training for school sport? High school summer classes? (Can get PE out of the way). Lots of kids do camps abroad - check out the ones in Spain. Or, summer pre-college programs. They’re usually $3k-$8k depending on length.

If home, maybe lifeguarding? CIT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he going into 9th or 10th? Maybe club sports or training for school sport? High school summer classes? (Can get PE out of the way). Lots of kids do camps abroad - check out the ones in Spain. Or, summer pre-college programs. They’re usually $3k-$8k depending on length.

If home, maybe lifeguarding? CIT?

Heading into 9th. Swimming is his only sport. He really doesn’t want to lifeguard; the pool we belong to and the others close enough to bike to are notorious for having poor management for lifeguards so I’m not into pushing it.

I’ll look into the HS class. I think he could get at least half of health out of the way; thank you for the reminder.

Has never been to sleepaway camp and says he has no desire, but we can revisit that again. I would be happy for him to have an unstructured summer
if it involved biking with friends and impromptu pickup basketball, but his closest friends are gamers so they socialize a lot online. You all know how that goes. Appreciate the brainstorming.

[Anonymous]

If friends are near by I'd just limit the screens and send him out. He's only 14, probably the last free kid summers he's ever going to have.

[Anonymous]

I'm not in MoCo but our local library has a summer reading program for kids, and they use middle/high school kids for volunteers. Maybe see if your local library has something?

[Anonymous]

Just put a cap on screen time and let him figure the rest out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just put a cap on screen time and let him figure the rest out.

We do. His phone is off (and in the kitchen) from 9pm to 7am. He can’t watch more than 45 minutes of YouTube a day. He doesn’t have social media. He does have a Nintendo switch and he plays with his friends while FaceTiming them a lot, that’s a lot of the time. He also legitimately uses his phone to listen to music and read on the kindle but sometimes he says he’s on those apps and he’s probably wasting time on something else. Somehow it adds up to a lot of screen time even with our restrictions. What are other parents screen rules?

[Anonymous]

There is an art camp in Olney in the afternoons I think 1-4. It’s called Beachkraft or something like that. They may take him as a volunteer.
I assume he likes younger kids if he coaches, what about seeing if any neighbors want a mothers helper a couple afternoon a week.

[Anonymous]

What do you consider a lot of screen time?

Say he comes home at 12 and does nothing but game until 4pm and then you make him stop. Then he has from 4pm until bedtime to fill up his time. Maybe he’ll bike around the neighborhood with his friends or laze around and stare into space. Or maybe he’d rather “save” his screen time until the evening hours when his friends are on.

My DS is 16 and we seem to be getting past the worst of always wanting to be on screens. It did get a lot harder once he had a phone.

[Anonymous]

I’m in a similar boat but I have a girl and she’s going into 8th. Makes me wish we still had the family restaurant so we could put her to work.

[Anonymous]

You may be “happy to make him volunteer”, but if you make him he’s not a volunteer.

Does he work hard at school, do his homework, and study for tests? That’s his job. This is supposed to be his vacation. Would you like to be told what to do on your vacation? Granted, his vacation is almost certainly longer than yours, but you’re an adult and it’s expected that adults should work more than kids.

It sounds like between swim team and coaching, he’s basically holding down a part-time job already, and you want him to take on another - for free? Can you imagine how you would feel if someone told you that when you finally get a vacation, your break from work is to do more work for free?

I really don’t think screens are that bad, they’re just another form of media. Yes, a lot of it is junk, and there are definitely done things to avoid, but there is also some fabulous content available. Even gaming with his friends provides social interaction and practice problem solving.

I think the optimal solution would be to tell him he’s not allowed to visit websites that are inconsistent with your family values, set blocks/monitor to ensure he sticks to your guidelines, maybe even suggesting some productive things to explore, and then let him do it when he wants (as long as he keeps up with his responsibilities.

If you’re just adamantly opposed to screens, go ahead and take them away, but give him some freedom outside of that constraint. He is structured during the school year. His mornings are structured during vacation. People need to have some unstructured time. At worst, he’ll get bored and start looking forward to school, which is not a bad thing. Unless he gets into trouble, thus proving he needs supervision and structure, he needs the chance to relax and recharge for another year of hard work at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may be “happy to make him volunteer”, but if you make him he’s not a volunteer.

Does he work hard at school, do his homework, and study for tests? That’s his job. This is supposed to be his vacation. Would you like to be told what to do on your vacation? Granted, his vacation is almost certainly longer than yours, but you’re an adult and it’s expected that adults should work more than kids.

It sounds like between swim team and coaching, he’s basically holding down a part-time job already, and you want him to take on another - for free? Can you imagine how you would feel if someone told you that when you finally get a vacation, your break from work is to do more work for free?

I really don’t think screens are that bad, they’re just another form of media. Yes, a lot of it is junk, and there are definitely done things to avoid, but there is also some fabulous content available. Even gaming with his friends provides social interaction and practice problem solving.

I think the optimal solution would be to tell him he’s not allowed to visit websites that are inconsistent with your family values, set blocks/monitor to ensure he sticks to your guidelines, maybe even suggesting some productive things to explore, and then let him do it when he wants (as long as he keeps up with his responsibilities.

If you’re just adamantly opposed to screens, go ahead and take them away, but give him some freedom outside of that constraint. He is structured during the school year. His mornings are structured during vacation. People need to have some unstructured time. At worst, he’ll get bored and start looking forward to school, which is not a bad thing. Unless he gets into trouble, thus proving he needs supervision and structure, he needs the chance to relax and recharge for another year of hard work at school.

I appreciate this perspective. The swim practice is 75 min and the coaching is 30-45. It is a lot and he does like it. He is a good student during the year and doesn’t get into trouble. I do like that he socializes on screens and no I wouldn’t take that away. But he can easily clock 8+ hours on regular summer day and I feel like that’s a lot for a developing brain. I know I need to get with the times, but I felt like my kids were way more creative in elementary school when they didn’t have as much screen time. They were always coming up with little things to do around the house. Screens are very much the default now and I worry about the impact. A couple of hours a week volunteering is probably more reasonable than asking him to do something every afternoon.

I just remember last year was hours and hours of screens and reluctance to meet up with friends in person. I know screen addiction is very real and want to avoid that if possible. But you are also right he needs a break. Thanks for the advice, I will definitely keep it in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an art camp in Olney in the afternoons I think 1-4. It’s called Beachkraft or something like that. They may take him as a volunteer.
I assume he likes younger kids if he coaches, what about seeing if any neighbors want a mothers helper a couple afternoon a week.

Good ideas, thank you !

[Anonymous]

It has to suck to have you as a parent. You sound so controlling, it is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may be “happy to make him volunteer”, but if you make him he’s not a volunteer.

Does he work hard at school, do his homework, and study for tests? That’s his job. This is supposed to be his vacation. Would you like to be told what to do on your vacation? Granted, his vacation is almost certainly longer than yours, but you’re an adult and it’s expected that adults should work more than kids.

It sounds like between swim team and coaching, he’s basically holding down a part-time job already, and you want him to take on another - for free? Can you imagine how you would feel if someone told you that when you finally get a vacation, your break from work is to do more work for free?

I really don’t think screens are that bad, they’re just another form of media. Yes, a lot of it is junk, and there are definitely done things to avoid, but there is also some fabulous content available. Even gaming with his friends provides social interaction and practice problem solving.

I think the optimal solution would be to tell him he’s not allowed to visit websites that are inconsistent with your family values, set blocks/monitor to ensure he sticks to your guidelines, maybe even suggesting some productive things to explore, and then let him do it when he wants (as long as he keeps up with his responsibilities.

If you’re just adamantly opposed to screens, go ahead and take them away, but give him some freedom outside of that constraint. He is structured during the school year. His mornings are structured during vacation. People need to have some unstructured time. At worst, he’ll get bored and start looking forward to school, which is not a bad thing. Unless he gets into trouble, thus proving he needs supervision and structure, he needs the chance to relax and recharge for another year of hard work at school.

I appreciate this perspective. The swim practice is 75 min and the coaching is 30-45. It is a lot and he does like it. He is a good student during the year and doesn’t get into trouble. I do like that he socializes on screens and no I wouldn’t take that away. But he can easily clock 8+ hours on regular summer day and I feel like that’s a lot for a developing brain. I know I need to get with the times, but I felt like my kids were way more creative in elementary school when they didn’t have as much screen time. They were always coming up with little things to do around the house. Screens are very much the default now and I worry about the impact. A couple of hours a week volunteering is probably more reasonable than asking him to do something every afternoon.

I just remember last year was hours and hours of screens and reluctance to meet up with friends in person. I know screen addiction is very real and want to avoid that if possible. But you are also right he needs a break. Thanks for the advice, I will definitely keep it in mind.

Read what you wrote. You already know what the answer is.