Reply to What can young teens do in the summer in the afternoons

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You may be “happy to make him volunteer”, but if you make him he’s not a volunteer.

Does he work hard at school, do his homework, and study for tests?  That’s his job.  This is supposed to be his vacation.  Would you like to be told what to do on your vacation?  Granted, his vacation is almost certainly longer than yours, but you’re an adult and it’s expected that adults should work more than kids.

It sounds like between swim team and coaching, he’s basically holding down a part-time job already, and you want him to take on another - for free?  Can you imagine how you would feel if someone told you that when you finally get a vacation, your break from work is to do more work for free?

I really don’t think screens are that bad, they’re just another form of media.  Yes, a lot of it is junk, and there are definitely done things to avoid, but there is also some fabulous content available.  Even gaming with his friends provides social interaction and practice problem solving.

I think the optimal solution would be to tell him he’s not allowed to visit websites that are inconsistent with your family values, set blocks/monitor to ensure he sticks to your guidelines, maybe even suggesting some productive things to explore, and then let him do it when he wants (as long as he keeps up with his responsibilities.

If you’re just adamantly opposed to screens, go ahead and take them away, but give him some freedom outside of that constraint.  He is structured during the school year.  His mornings are structured during vacation.  People need to have some unstructured time.  At worst, he’ll get bored and start looking forward to school, which is not a bad thing.  Unless he gets into trouble, thus proving he needs supervision and structure, he needs the chance to relax and recharge for another year of hard work at school. 
[/quote]

I appreciate this perspective. The swim practice is 75 min and the coaching is 30-45.  It is a lot and he does like it. He is a good student during the year and doesn’t get into trouble. I do like that he socializes on screens and no I wouldn’t take that away. But he can easily clock 8+ hours on regular summer day and I feel like that’s a lot for a developing brain. I know I need to get with the times, but I felt like my kids were way more creative in elementary school when they didn’t have as much screen time. They were always coming up with little things to do around the house. Screens are very much the default now and I worry about the impact. A couple of hours a week volunteering is probably more reasonable than asking him to do something every afternoon.

I just remember last year was hours and hours of screens and reluctance to  meet up with friends in person. I know screen addiction is very real and want to avoid that if possible. But you are also right he needs a break. Thanks for the advice, I will definitely keep it in mind. [/quote]

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