I need someone to tell me that my kids will be fine with both parents working 9-5
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Anonymous
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I fully realize this is to norm for so many families and I just need to hear it.
Kids are 6 and 3 and since they were born, DH and i have staggered our work schedules with me working 7am-3pm and him 9am-5pm. It's given us a great balance of the kids only being gone 8:30am-3:30pm, me making school pick ups every day, no extended care, kids home by 4pm, all eating dinner together by 5:15pm. I have an offer for a new job that would be a great pivot for me, but it's 9am-5pm with little flexibility (though it is fully WFH). I feel selfish wanting to take it because it kills me thinking of my kids, especially the 3yo, out of the house from 8:30-5:30 and losing out on those late afternoon hours together. This is really my chance to "un-mommy track" and gain a massive amount of mentorship and new skills. The job seems like a really good fit and exciting next step. I have stayed stagnant in my current role for 6 years because of the hours and it's soul sucking at this point. |
Anonymous
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They are getting older so you can push dinner time to 6 or later, no?
Pack an extra snack for after care and be prepared for some griping in the first few days. Once they get used to aftercare, they'll enjoy getting to play with their friends longer. it's like a second recess. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| They will be fine! As they get older and you get more senior, you may be able to again have them home in the afternoons or doing homework while you finish work. Go for it! |
Anonymous
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It'll be fine.
We had our kids in daycare for those hours. It was what worked for us and no regret. If you're still concerned, is your DH's hours flexible enough that he can start and finish earlier? |
Anonymous
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It doesn’t sound like you’re worried about your kids being fine (they will - it’s the same amount of time you’re away from them now), it sounds like you’re worried about you being fine. Losing afternoons that you cherish with your kids is a cost for sure. For some people that cost is absolutely worth it (go on 7am “breakfast dates!” instead) and for others it wouldn’t be. You’ll get both responses.
For reference, I didn’t ‘mommy-track’ but I was unemployed for 2 years before I found a position that worked best for me and my family. It was probably worth the years of unemployment. But what works best for me would probably be awful to someone else. Only you know. |
Anonymous
| They will be totally fine!!! Especially since it is fully WFH. That is a totally different proposition than being done at work at 5pm and having a commute on top of it. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
I know many well adjusted adults with loving relationships with their parents who were in daycare/aftercare/etc growing up. It’s okay! (But I also understand your anxiety — I had a SAHM and my sister was able to shift her schedule when he kids were little so I felt like the first person ever to use full time daycare when my kids were little) |
Anonymous
+2 I think this is huge. |
Anonymous
| WFH will make all the difference and totally doable. You got this and congratulations! |
Anonymous
This, my DD was in FT daycare until she went to school at K, then was in aftercare everyday. Now I WFH and 1) have built the flexibility to drive her to activities if she needs and 2) she is home working on her stuff after school while I'm finishing up the day. There was almost no WFH or hybrid pre-pandemic when my kid was small. She is just fine having not been home more. |
Anonymous
| Many Gen X and Millenials grew up that way, and they're fine. It will ok I promise |
Anonymous
| You will be fine, your kids will be fine. My kids thought aftercare was the best part of the day! |
Anonymous
| You sound like the type of parent that tries to be fully present and adores your kids. They will be fine. Take the job. |
Anonymous
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Congratulations! This sounds like an incredible opportunity for you and a great way to model for your children the importance of both parents having great careers.
You will be a much better parent (and partner) when you are in a job that you are happy with. |