Wwyd if this was your mother?

[Anonymous]

My mom is 76 and has developed a crippling back issue. She can barely walk (a few steps with a walker); needs a hospital bed at home, round the clock carers and is in pain and on hardcore pain meds at all times. Prior to this which happened in the last 6 mos, she was a very active person. Now it’s like she is 95. Multiple surgeons consulted say fusion is the only answer but it’s a big surgery with a recovery that would be challenging for a 30 yo man; and I read so many horror stories of people who seem to be even worse off after them. I’m being supportive of her decision but is that the right thing? I’m concerned it will be a terrible result and kind of end up being the end of her. Wwyd?

[Anonymous]

What does Mom want?

[Anonymous]

What does your mother want?

[Anonymous]

I’d get her the surgery. A long recovery is minimal compared to being bed ridden the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I’d get her the surgery. A long recovery is minimal compared to being bed ridden the rest of her life.

How is anything but this the answer.

[Anonymous]

Here are her options:

1 - do nothing and live out the rest of her life in pain with limited mobility

2 - try the surgery and have a chance at improvement or potentially a worse outcome

3 - get a great PT/OT and try that route before choosing between 1 & 2


Up to her but if it were me I would aggressively try 3 first then 2. Living the way she’s living is not a life.

[Anonymous]

I would try #3 aggressively then #2. If she would be willing to try acupuncture, it made a huge difference in my back issues and wasn't very painful at all.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, I just read she is 76. She had good quality of life before the back issue? 76 is still fairly young. She could have another 25 years.

There is no easy solution here. It sounds like 6 months ago she was very active. You've talked to multiple surgeons. What does her PCP say? Sometimes I lean on my PCP to advise in these situations.

Her quality of life is very, very low now. She is only 76. What does Mom want? I'd probably lean heavy on what Mom wants. Is she motivated to do rehab after surgery to build up her muscles?

[Anonymous]

10:34 poster

Agree with try PT and acupuncture first.

Then surgery if she wants it and is motivated to do PT afterwards.

Current state sounds horrible and she is still young enough for surgery.

[Anonymous]

I have a parent who did the surgery and is pain free and mobile now. It requires dedication to PT after the surgery, though. Your Mom has to do the surgery, PT alone is not going to help anything at this point, and if she leaves it as is, it will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Also agree with the PT and acupuncture first. Get her in both asap. The longer you wait on back issues the worse it gets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is 76 and has developed a crippling back issue. She can barely walk (a few steps with a walker); needs a hospital bed at home, round the clock carers and is in pain and on hardcore pain meds at all times. Prior to this which happened in the last 6 mos, she was a very active person. Now it’s like she is 95. Multiple surgeons consulted say fusion is the only answer but it’s a big surgery with a recovery that would be challenging for a 30 yo man; and I read so many horror stories of people who seem to be even worse off after them. I’m being supportive of her decision but is that the right thing? I’m concerned it will be a terrible result and kind of end up being the end of her. Wwyd?

I would do the surgery. It could get better! Right now it is only going to get worse

[Anonymous]

Get a second opinion for sure. Do everything else but surgery if possible. How about seeing a pain specialist? Some people benefit from nerve blocks.

[Anonymous]

My sister's (age 40ish) insurance denied her operation for back fusion because they said it rarely helps. My sister fought it, won, had the surgery - and is still in pain. I hate insurance companies but in this instance, have to say they may have been right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I just read she is 76. She had good quality of life before the back issue? 76 is still fairly young. She could have another 25 years.

There is no easy solution here. It sounds like 6 months ago she was very active. You've talked to multiple surgeons. What does her PCP say? Sometimes I lean on my PCP to advise in these situations.

Her quality of life is very, very low now. She is only 76. What does Mom want? I'd probably lean heavy on what Mom wants. Is she motivated to do rehab after surgery to build up her muscles?

25 more years? That’s extremely unlikely.